Free Shenanigans Anyone?
by Penelope Jones
Summary: The final year of any school is hard. Throw in an irritating ex-boyfriend trying to hook you up with his best mate, some caring friends, life changing exams and of course impending doom and you've got Lily Evans' last year at Hogwarts.
1. Apple Juice Makes Me A Little Weird

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-- I don't own H.P. If I did I'd be one happy camper.

Hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it, Penny --

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_**Free Shenanigans Anyone?**_

_By Penelope Jones_

Chapter One: Apple Juice Makes Me A Little Weird

I stood in the aisle next to my mother. She was squatted down with two cans of soup in her hands.

"Does chicken actually have healing properties or is it just nice?" she asked

"They say it is a fool who catches a cold in summer" was all I said.

"Don't be nasty to your sister" mum said standing up still frowning at the two cans of soup.

"Leek is good for colds" I muttered.

"Leek? What happened to bed rest and lots of throat lollies?" mum asked

"You're the one buying chicken soup"

"It's for dinner" mum said

"Soup in summer? The only soup I want is chilled… something. Can't we just have toast or something?"

"Lily you've been living off toast all summer don't you want some lettuce or something?" mum asked

"Toast is nice" I retorted with a frown. She shook her head and handed me two cans of soup.

"You pick…" she said and began looking at different stock flavourings.

"Sorry red but you're blocking the soup" a man said.

I turned and stepped aside

"Oh sorry" I said looking down. The dark haired youth stood up and smiled at me. I screamed at him and dropped the cans I was holding.

"Well… Lily Evans" he said I stared at him wide eyed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I know this may be just down right impossible for you to fathom but I eat too" he replied.

I'm Lily Evans, just about to begin my seventh and final year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm a witch hence the magic school. My whole family are muggles, non-magical people. So imagine the look on mums face when I received the letter from Hogwarts saying I'd been accepted when I hadn't applied. In fact my parents were so convinced it was a hoax the headmaster had actually come to our home to confirm it was fact.

I was pretty good at balancing my magic life with my normal one. In fact when I was at home it was basically wizard world free with the exception of homework. But never ever had I seen, in all my six summer vacations since being accepted, my fully pureblood wizard boyfriend grocery shopping.

"Well of course you eat. But don't they feed you at the halfway house?" I asked him.

Sirius Black stood at a nice 5'8 significantly taller then my 5'3. His long black hair was platted behind his back a few bits of his uneven hair fell over his face. He swatted them away and grinned.

"I don't live in a halfway house. I'm simply mooching off friends. As it happens Moony's place is actually in the next town. There's no decent food over that way so I come here to get…" he reached into his shopping basket and pulled out a packet of crisps. "These. They only sell them here so…"

By the way yes I did say boyfriend. I was under the impression he'd be very far away right now so had actually gone into shock. I quickly snapped out of it and tried to think of something to tell my mum.

"Lily…" mum said I turned

"Uh…Sirius this is my mum. Mum this is Sirius Black. He goes to my school" I said staring at her trying to see if I could send a message to her telepathically. _'Let's leave now'_

It didn't work.

"You go to Lily's school?" mum asked. She seemed just as surprised as I was to see him out here in the normal world. He was school life. Mum was home life… they shouldn't mesh… ever.

Sirius smiled his gorgeous smile, the one he used to chat up girls and get out of trouble.

"Yes I do. Actually we're da-"

"Debating. We have a debating team" I said smiling at mum.

"Oh Lily is a champion debater what are you like?" mum asked

"I'm more of a master-" I elbowed him in the stomach and then beamed at mum.

"Oh Sirius… always have to be a comedian. Hey didn't you need to get some more bread?" I asked mum

"Your right… well it was nice to meet you Sirius" mum said before hurrying out of the aisle and out of sight.

"God you're an idiot!" I said and hit him.

"What? Me? I didn't know you hadn't told your parents you had a boyfriend"

"No I didn't because my parents are nice. They'd want to meet you then your family and your family would murder all of us"

"Hey! I'm sure they won't stab any one without being provoked" Sirius muttered I hit him again.

"Idiot" I said

"Hey wait till my parents hear I'm dating a debater" Sirius said

"Shut up" I said and went to walk off but he grabbed my arm and easily spun me around so I was leaning against the shelves.

"You could tell them I was orphaned or something. I like to believe it… it's basically true what with dad missing out on parole…" Sirius muttered leaning in closer. I glanced down the aisle but it was completely deserted.

"You want to meet my parents?" I asked looking back at him.

"No I… I don't like the fact that your home life and school life are so separate" he said moving even closer.

"Supermarket" I said we both looked around.

"I don't see anyone" he said.

"Except the stock boy" I muttered looking at the young employee who looked only fourteen.

"Let's give him a show" Sirius said staring intently at the stock boy who glanced around and frowned at us.

"Is it really my family… because if it's any consolation I hate them too" Sirius said "or is it you. Are you embarrassed by me?"

"No, no that's completely wrong-"

"Then why don't you want me to meet your parents?" he whispered. There was no need for him to speak normally he was so damn close. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well a lot of reasons…" I said awkwardly. I looked at his chest so I wouldn't be under his piercing gaze. He was _very_ persuasive when he wanted to be.

"Like…" he said huskily I grinned then scolded myself.

"Like… my sister would hate you…"

"Hey my parents do already"

"No she hates wizards"

"So do I, always looking at you… undressing you with their eyes…" he said running a finger along the top of my shirt.

"A-and your not really what my parents expect in my boyfriend" I said breathlessly, cursing him for his control over me.

"Why? Do they expect some merit scholar or something?" he asked then softly kissed my neck making me gasp and all coherent thoughts slowly pour out of my head.

"A-a-are you… uh… would you…" I stuttered as my eyes slowly closed. He was gone. I opened my eyes and he was standing a good three feet away.

"I'd love to" he said with a smile. I looked around and saw my mum walking back into the aisle.

"Ah Mrs Evans allow me" Sirius said taking her shopping basket for her.

"Oh why thank you Sirius" she said smiling then looking at me.

"Your daughter here just invited me around for dinner I hope that's all right. We can reschedule if it's an inconvenience" Sirius said I stared at him

"Oh no of course that's fine, hope you like soup though" mum said smiling obviously falling for his charming lies.

"Love it" he said.

"Great" mum said "just drop by around six thirty"

"Uh actually…" I began

"Lily and I were gonna hang out for the rest of the day. Got a nice… debate to work on huh Lily?" Sirius asked my mouth fell open but I quickly closed it.

"Sure thing" I said nodding.

"Right well I'll see you at dinner then. It was nice to meet you Sirius… see you again tonight"

"The pleasure was mine" Sirius said handing her back her shopping basket. She gave us a quick wave before leaving the aisle.

"All right my princess where shall we go?" Sirius asked picking me up. I squealed in surprised then glared at him.

"If my mum sees"

"You can tell her that I'm your boyfriend"

"I just explained-"

"And I ignored you" he interrupted. I sighed and leaned back in his arms to pick up his shopping basket from the ground then sat back up and let him carry me over to the checkouts.

"I can walk you know"

"I'm conserving your energy… your going to need it" he said and kissed my neck making blush.

"Sorry… I know how the public displays of affection irritate you" he said and gently put me down in front of the checkout. I unloaded his groceries from the basket and then looked at him.

"You've got money right?" I asked as the lady began putting the items through.

"Of course" he said slipping an arm around my waist and pulling me close.'

"You're very clingy today" I said gently pulling his arm off me.

"Well I haven't seen you in a month I missed you"

"Sirius" I said

"All right I have been watching you at night. But I did miss your annoying whiney voice"

"My voice isn't whiny!" I snapped

"That's the one" he said chuckling. I rolled my eyes and glared at the wall. After the lady was all down Sirius paid her and we headed out into the parking lot. He led me across it and down the main street lined with shops.

"So did you take a car?" I asked then realised how stupid it was to ask if a wizard had taken a normal muggle invention such as a car.

"No I did not… I took the train"

"The train?" I asked frowning at him.

"Well not really" he said leading me to the station. We walked down the steps and into the underground station. But rather then leading me over to the ticket machine we walked into one of the public toilets. The light flickered above us and the cracked mirror wobbled dangerously as a train pulled up to the station.

"You ever Apparated before?" Sirius asked

"Only at school" I said

"Oh practise classes yeah I stuffed those up so bad. It's a bit disorientating at first but you'll be all right. Hold on" he said wrapping his arms around me. I did the same and rested my head on his chest. The world quickly faded and the nothingness crushed me from all around. Then in a split second it was gone and there was air and light. I breathed in deeply and glanced around. We were still in what appeared to be a public toilet but this one was made of chipped bricks and had the faint smell of urine and alcohol.

"You all right?" Sirius asked

"Just a little dizzy" I said nodding. He smiled and led me out of the toilet and into a bright sunny street.

"So where's Remus's house?" I asked

"Actually we're going to my flat"

"Wait… your flat? Why go to Remus's if you have a flat?"

"Because there's no washer at my flat"

"So you took your clothes to his house? There are Laundromats you know. And magic why didn't you just clean them like that?"

"Do I look like I know cleaning spells? Well I know one but that's for stains" he muttered.

"Well you are clumsy" I said making him smile.

"Only around you"

"Wow if were any more cheesy we'd be pizza" I said he laughed.

"You're very weird"

"Yeah I had some apple juice it makes me a little weird"

"Really?"

"Yeah it's all the sugar. So where do you live? And how did you afford a place?"

"Ah there are still a few members of the Black family who don't find my existence an abomination" he said moving all the shopping bags into his right hand so he could hold my left hand. I smiled and followed him down the bright street lined with beautiful houses.

"I really didn't think this was your kind of scene"

"Yeah but every back alley flat I wanted with leaky roofs were taken so here I am in sunny suburbia" he said pulling me onto the grass as a young couple pushed a pram along the sidewalk.

"Now my landlady is a little in your face, she'll do anything to get you round for tea" Sirius said as we stopped in front of a tall narrow building. He led me inside and glanced down the corridor before climbing up the stairs.

"Ah Sirius your back. Are you doing anything tonight?" a short plump woman asked. She'd appeared so suddenly that even Sirius had jumped back a bit.

"Yeah just hanging out with my _girlfriend_" he said pointedly then pulled me close to him.

"Lily this Diane my landlady. Diane this is Lily"

"Nice to meet you Lily, your much prettier then that brunette he brought over last week" Diane said smiling brightly at me.

"What brunette?" I asked turning to Sirius.

"Hah, there was no brunette" Sirius said

"Are you breaking up? My daughter is single you know Sirius, she's really quite pretty" Diane said.

"What brunette?" I repeated

"I've met her she's really something" Sirius said ignoring me completely.

"Well if your plans fall through you can always come for tea" Diane said

"I'll keep that in mind… thank you" Sirius said and led me up the stairs.

"Seriously what brunette?" I asked following him down the corridor on the third floor. He unlocked the door and held it open.

"What brunette?" I repeated. He just gave me a look so I walked into his apartment and flipped on the lights.

"Oh she's much prettier then the brunette"

"Shut up Freddie" Sirius ordered as he shut the door. I frowned at him as he walked past and followed him.

"Mirror on the wall" Sirius said I looked over and saw a full length mirror hanging on the wall. A twenty-something year old man stood inside and looked very bored.

"You have a talking mirror?" I asked hurrying over to it. Freddie stood up tall and proud.

"She's a mudblood" Sirius said I turned to glare at him.

"Sorry it's the parenting" he said and began to unload the shopping.

"Any messages Freddie?" Sirius asked.

"Yes" Freddie said then in a shrill voice cried "_give me back_-"

"Skip it" Sirius said "and any more from her"

"He doesn't like talking to his mother" Freddie whispered to me.

"Freddie! Messages" Sirius ordered.

"Next message. _Hey Riri, happy birthday. Oh and mum wants her broche back_"

"Hah!" Sirius said with a grin.

"Next message. _Hey Padfoot happy birthday, we still going out tonight?_ Next message. _Happy birthday Padfoot. Now give me back my book!_"

"End of messages" Freddie said.

"Wow so he's like an answering machine" I said

"A what?" Sirius asked.

"Never mind" I said looking around his flat. It was small but seeing as he was probably here by himself it seemed a decent size. The furniture was mismatched but he'd probably just collected it from around. He hadn't bothered transfiguring them so they matched which strangely actually made the place seem more like him. With his mismatched personality constantly clashing with everything nearby.

"You can sit on it you know" Sirius said I looked at him

"Huh?"

"You've been staring at the couch for a bit. Figured you were battling your conscious about sitting down without being offered to do so" he said

I sat down on the bright green couch and looked up at him.

"You all right?" he asked sitting beside me.

"Fine… I've just… it's really stupid but… uh… I've never you know… been completely alone with a boy before"

"We're not completely alone Freddie is good at spotting my wandering hands" Sirius said making me smile.

"Uh… Sirius… is… today your birthday?" I asked frowning in thought.

"It's tomorrow…" Sirius said very hesitantly. I leapt up from the couch.

"I forgot your birthday!" I cried

"Lily it's all right I forgot my birthday until James's bloody owl pecked me then gave me cake"

"You forgot your own birthday?"

"Well it's in August so I'd usually be at home because of summer and all that. Well usually my parents just ignored me and I'd do anything, anything I could to avoid being beaten and… I just forgot. I mean ten years without one you just sort of forget"

"Wouldn't your friends-?"

"Yeah but I didn't exactly get my letters during the holidays. They learnt to save everything for the first day back so usually that was my birthday. Thanks to my drivers licence I now know it's the 13th" he said holding up his licence. I smiled at him

"I feel awful. I'll be right back" I said pulling out my wallet to check out much money I had.

"Lily you don't have to get me a gift"

"Well you just told me you haven't had a birthday in ten years" I said.

"Not technically but I did get presents eventually except of course from years seven to eleven but still…"

"Wait here" I said

"Lily. I will tie you to a chair if I have to. Do not get me anything"

"Oh kinky" Freddie said Sirius glared at the mirror then turned back to me. I slowly moved closer to him and straddled him wrapping my arms around his neck. I slowly began to roll my hips and was happy to see, well feel, it was having some effect on him. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and slowly pulled it up before pulling it off completely. His hands moved and my breath hitched but he just grabbed my waist and gently lifted me and repositing me so I was sitting on his legs rather then right in his lap. He was staring at my chest and I was glad I'd decided to nick one of Petunia's bras. It was laundry day and she's always got heaps of clean ones.

"Wow… uh… no! You don't have to…" he stammered his gaze still fixated a little below my face.

"Great because I had no idea what I was doing…" I muttered and kissed him.

I took his face in my hands and titled it upward so I could kiss him. His arms slid around me and pulled me closer to him deepening the kiss. He then picked me up and carried me to a room off to the left. He flipped on the lights and then tossed me on the bed. He slowly climbed on top of me his eye a darker shade of grey then usual. He kissed along my neck biting and sucking. He found the right place on my neck just near my shoulder that made me melt and focused his attention there. I felt his hands sliding up my back trying to find the clasp for my bra. He stopped suddenly and pulled back.

"Wait when you said you had no idea…?"

"Yeah… I'm a virgin" I said he stared down at me wide eyed.

"What?"

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Wow first story very excited. So is it good, bad tell me what you thought in the form of a review, Penny.

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	2. All Out of Bad News

Chapter Two: All Out of Bad News

"You couldn't have waited till after to tell me that?" Sirius asked slowly climbing off me.

"To be honest I wasn't really thinking about it" I said sitting up and resting my hands in my lap.

"Neither was I!" he cried.

"I didn't realise you'd mind so much" I muttered.

"Lily your first time has to be special. You'd hate me forever. Oh and yourself forever if you did this when you weren't ready" he said I stared at him for a few long moments and he stared right back. I dived on him; he cried out in surprise as I threw my arms around his neck and began to kiss him.

How on earth could he be so considerate? He was so close to getting what he wanted and he stopped… for me.

_BANG!_ I screamed and leapt about a foot in the air.

"It's just the front door" he whispered "whoever it is won't come in here"

"Padfoot!" a voice called.

"Crap it's the Marauders" I hissed

"Hey" Sirius said quite offended.

"Sorry" I muttered, "you don't mind if I leave do you?"

"Nah, nah I'll get you a shirt" he said and leant deliberately over the top of me to search through the bedside dresser. He pulled out a black t-shirt and handed it to me. I slipped into it.

"Go into the bathroom I'll pull them in here and you can run for the door" he said I kissed him

"Thanks. It's not that I hate your friends. I like them it's just-"

"I understand" he said I kissed him again then quickly slipped into the bathroom. I heard his door open.

"Happy Birthday!" they shouted. I pulled open the door at the other end of the small bathroom and glanced around the living room/kitchen. It was deserted so I quickly hurried across the room and to the front door.

"EVANS!" James Potter shouted. I stopped and rested my head against the door. So close…

I spun around leaning against the front door. The four Marauders stood in Sirius's bed room doorway. Sirius gave me an apologetic glance while Potter smirked, Remus Lupin gave me a small smile and Peter Pettigrew grinned.

The Marauders were what the boys called themselves. They were like their own little club with secret nicknames and tight knit friendship. There was no denying they were unbelievably close each of them bringing something different to their unique friendship sure to last a lifetime.

"Well my gift pales in comparison to that" Potter said looking me up and down.

"Didn't realise you were entertaining guests" Peter said glancing at Sirius.

"Guys wait in my room" Sirius said heading over to me.

"Sorry about them" he said quietly as the bedroom door shut.

"No it's ok…" I said "they probably think I'm just another one of…"

"One of what?" he asked.

"Nothing, don't worry. I'll see you tonight ok?" I said

"Don't leave on account of them. James is just being… his usual prick self"

The bedroom door swung open

"Hey Padfoot" Potter called "you weren't using that lamp were you? Oh and are you done yet?"

"I should go" I said quietly.

"Fine but my birthday is tomorrow"

"I know we'll do something together" I assured him.

"Great we'll definitely do something" he said I stared at him searching his grey eyes for a hidden motive. But of course Sirius would only let you see what he wanted you to.

"Ok" I said nodding. He beamed

"See you tonight then" he said and kissed my forehead.

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"Your home early" mum said as I walked into the bright yellow living room.

"Yeah Sirius' friends came over" I muttered and sat down next to her on the couch. She put down the book she was reading and looked at me.

"Is that a new shirt?" she asked I glanced down.

"Uh… no, I've been wearing this the whole day" I replied.

"Hey uh mum what if say… hypothetically I had a boyfriend"

"A hypothetical one?" mum asked

"Yes purely for this discussion. How would you react?"

"To your hypothetical boyfriend?" mum asked

"Yes" I said

"Well I don't know. I suppose I can't say I'd be surprised. You should have a boyfriend at your age"

"What if say… _hypothetically_ it was Sirius?" I asked.

"Sweetheart you're not fooling me with this hypothetical stuff"

"Huh? What gave it away?"

"The boy's shirt and you've got a love bite" she said pulling the collar of my shirt down a bit to see it better.

"Oh… right…"

"So the only reason you'd be wearing his shirt is if you lost it in the frenzy of pulling it off"

"We didn't have sex. I just spilt something on it" I said.

"Go put on one of your shirts before your father sees… it was really with him you should've tried the hypothetical things. He's not going to be happy discovering his young, sweet innocent little girl is dating" mum said standing up. "He's already running a police check and he just thinks the boys just your friend" and with that she left the room.

"Hey mum could you-"

"Not a chance" mum called.

"Damn" I muttered and walked into the hallway lined with pictures of me and my sister growing up. I walked into my room and changed my shirt into one of the only clean ones I could find in my closet. I then headed out into the hallway and down to our blue kitchen in search of my dad.

There's a huge downside to having a cop for a dad. You can't throw huge parties while he's out of town because he gets his mates to drive by every twenty minutes, you can't go out alone in public because he's paranoid about muggers and rapists, you get a police escort if you do convince him to let you out alone, if you sneak out one of his mates will take you to the station and keep you there till he picks you up and he runs background checks on every new person in your life.

I found dad sitting at the table enjoying one of his rare days off. He was reading the paper while drinking his coffee. I looked at the clock and saw it was two in the afternoon.

"Late night?" I asked him sitting down.

"Yeah…" he sighed rubbing his eyes and pushing his thinning blonde hair from his face.

"Lily…" he said realising which of his daughters I was. Not that it was quite hard. Petunia was thin, tall, pretty with platinum blonde hair that resembled dads. I was fairly short and more on the lean side with long red hair that was close to mums though hers was more strawberry blonde then red.

"Just the girl I wanted to talk to" he said with a small smile.

"Good news or bad?"

"Both. I called my friend Hamilton; he works with all the criminal files. Anyway I knew I'd probably get nowhere what with Black being a wizard…" I cringed. He had done a police check on Sirius.

"I don't have access to your magic files. I've tried before. As usual I gave it a go. Guess what… Hamilton is a wizard"

"Really wow! I had no idea that's great to know. I'll just go to my room till dinner ok?" I said going to stand up but dad gently pushed me back down.

"He asked how I knew about someone like Sirius Black. Normal people aren't supposed to know about wizards… well not really anyway. Explained he was a friend of yours… we both sort of pieced it together, he knows you're a witch and I figured out he was a wizard" dad said leaning forward in his chair giving me his interrogation face. Which meant it was completely blank and I wasn't sure whether he'd ground me or congratulate me.

"Hamilton's got access to the wizarding criminal files. Anyway you'll never guess who Sirius is related to" dad said I stared at him.

"I'm quite positive I don't care" I said standing up. "Dad… I know Sirius… he's nothing like his family. And you'll see that when you meet him"

"Lily a white horse with painted black stipes is still a horse"

"Did you just compare my friend to a zebra?" I asked

"That boy is bad news. Oh that reminds me, my good news? I'm all out of bad news" dad said I rolled my eyes.

"Look your meeting him tonight. If you don't like him then I will stay away from him I promise" I said

Mum walked into the kitchen and began to scrub some dirty dishes from this morning.

"Lily" dad said sternly making me look at him. "If he hurts you I'm going to shoot him"

"Oh Ethan it's not like she's dating the boy" mum said scrubbing away at the dishes. She turned to me "Are you dear?"

I laughed and patted the table.

"Well you know… uh… lets look at this in comparison to Petunia ok. Uh… she's had fifty boyfriends and eight pregnancy scares and I'm dating someone who may or may not be involved in a few minor crimes" I said brightly my face fell when I saw my parents expressions.

"I'm grounded aren't I?" I asked and my parents nodded.

I sighed and left the kitchen crashing right into my sister.

"Hey" I said

"Hi" she sighed rubbing her head where I'd hit her.

"Sorry"

"Yeah… remember-"

"You're only being nice to me so I won't mess up your engagement to Vernon" I said. She nodded and walked into the kitchen as she tied her blonde hair in a loose ponytail. I sighed and walked into my room where I knew I'd miserably spend the rest of my summer vacation.

I flopped down on my bed and frowned at the ceiling. After a few minutes of intense ceiling glaring I sat up and decided to do the last bit of my homework.

Mum came and got me a few minutes before Sirius was supposed to arrive.

"You will eat your food then try kicking him out as quickly as possible while being polite about it. Then you'll go to your room" she said.

"Ok" I said nodding

"Great the freak is coming. Your not going to let me leave are you?" Petunia asked my parents who ignored her.

I pulled a face at her and she just shot me a glare. Even though she was puffy eyed and runny nosed she still looked quite pretty which was just unfair in my eyes.

"Don't start you two" mum said as the door bell rang. She pointed to it and so I headed to the front door. With a sigh I pulled it open and Sirius smiled at me. He then frowned

"Why is your family staring at me like that?" he asked I turned and saw my family all leaning in the doorway frowning at him.

"They're just not used to wizards" I said stepping aside so he could come in. I led him down to the kitchen and did the introductions.

"Uh Sirius you've already met my mum Violet. This is my dad Ethan and my sister Petunia" I said pointing them out.

"You're not going to hit me with a branch are you?" Petunia asked and mum hit her. Sirius frowned at her then looked at me.

"She's sick so she's not at her usual peak of perfect" I said nodding. Petunia smiled flipping her hair over her shoulder. I pointed to his seat and sat down beside him well aware that my dad was giving him the worst look he could muster.

"So have you and Lily done it yet?" Petunia asked Sirius stared at her then looked at me.

"Wow maybe you should go to sleep sweetheart" mum said putting a hand to Petunias forehead.

"No I'm alright thanks mum" she said looking directly at me with an evil glint in her pale blue eyes.

Mum smiled, nodded and then began to serve the soup.

"Tastes fantastic Mrs Evans" Sirius said making mum smile.

"It's just soup… and call me Violet" mum said with a small blush.

"So what do your parents do for a living Sirius?" dad asked Sirius spat his water across the table then began coughing. Petunia burst out laughing while I wiped it up then looked at Sirius.

"My parents?" he asked dad nodded.

I nodded indicating for him to answer. He just stared at dad with a confused look on his face so I kicked him under the table and gave him a pointed glare.

"Uh my dad runs his own business… and mum is… a… housewife" Sirius said nodding.

"Oh what kind of business does your dad run?" mum asked.

"He's… a… uh… cleaner" Sirius said coughing. "So uh what do you do Mr Evans?"

"I'm a cop"

"Really?" Sirius said

"It's kind of like the muggle equivalent of an Auror" I explained. Sirius coughed and then turned to mum.

"So do you work Violet?"

"Yes I do. I'm an English teacher at the catholic school nearby. I taught Petunia and was hoping to teach Lily but off she went to Hogwarts" mum said smiling.

"That must've been hard" Sirius said

"No… no it's been so good for her…" mum said nodding.

"Mum and dad thought the letter was a joke… but I knew she was a freak thanks to that Snape kid" Petunia said.

That'll cost me.

Why hadn't I interrupted?

"What?" Sirius asked looking at me.

"I'm sure there are lots of…" I trailed off at Sirius stare. There was no point even trying to lie.

"Yeah he lives nearby" I sighed.

"Do you know the Snapes?" mum asked Sirius.

"Well their son goes to our school" Sirius said not taking his eyes off me.

"Yes he and Lily are so close" mum said I stared at her horrified then looked back at Sirius.

"Really?" Sirius asked sounding quite interested.

"He just helps with my potions homework that's all" I said.

"Oh did we get you in trouble Lily?" Petunia asked rather enjoying herself.

"No" Sirius said and Petunia's face fell.

"So what do plan to do after school Sirius?" mum asked

"Hmm? Oh bits of this and that you know"

"Our Lily will be a nurse… or the wizarding equivalent to one"

"A nurse?" Sirius asked looking at me "suits you"

"Thanks" I said

"What about you Petunia studying for anything?" Sirius asked.

"Hah! No… gold digger" Petunia said with a laugh.

"Ah marry rich. I like that" Sirius said

"Well I'm not academically gifted like dear Lily. Tell me how did she snag a hunk like you with her nose buried in a book all the time?" Petunia asked.

"I'm very annoying… no one can ignore me for very long" Sirius replied making me laugh.

After dinner Sirius helped mum with the dishes and then it was time for him to leave. Or that's what the glances from my parents were telling me.

"Thank you for having me… it was wonderful" Sirius said mum nodded.

"Good night all it was great to meet you all" he said "Lily… walk me to the door"

I stood up and led him down the hallway.

"Aw look… chubby Lily" he said pointing at a photo on the wall. I grabbed his arm and pulled him along. I led him onto the front porch and he pulled me into a hug.

"Nice job getting grounded Lils" he said

"That's your fault. If you'd just put up with the dodgy crisps they had at Remus' house you'd never have been in the supermarket and bumped into me and causing my parents to find out I had a boyfriend" I said he laughed.

"Yeah, how devious of me. But I think it worked out for the best. You really should be honest to_ your_ parents. Not mine, never mine"

"Happy birthday for tomorrow" I said and hugged him

"Why thank you" he grinned and with a loud _crack_ he was gone. I stood on the porch for a few minutes more before turning around and walking inside.

"Room" dad ordered. I sighed and walked into my room. I flopped on my bed not bothering to really get changed. I picked up one of the many books I had in my room and began to read.

Surprisingly it wasn't long before I'd fallen asleep. I slept quite horribly but I usually do so that wasn't much of a concern. I rolled over wondering how long I could sleep in before someone disturbed me.

I heard a light tapping noise, assuming it was a mouse in the wall I ignored it and tried to sleep in a bit more.

The tapping became louder and I realised it wasn't like a scratching noise which mice usually make but as if someone were tapping on glass. I sat up and glanced around my room. The curtains were drawn back from the window so I could see pretty clearly around the room thanks to the moonlight. But this was not my room in fact it wasn't even my house. I flipped on the bedside lamp and looked around the now partially lit room.

"Sirius" I sighed glancing around the familiar room.

I sighed when the tapping got even louder and turned to the bedside table where it seemed to be coming from. I gently opened the draws and searched through each of them, in the third one I found the source. I was a handheld mirror rattle slightly as someone, apparently inside tapped the glass. I picked it up and frowned

"Hello?" I whispered. James Potters face appeared

"Thank Merlin. Here you talk to him" Potter said and I was staring Sirius. I frowned then realised it was Sirius's younger brother Regulus. He frowned at me then turned to the left

"It's a girl" he said

"What?" I heard Potter asked then his face appeared.

"EVANS! Do you live there?" he snapped.

"Wow a two way mirror… they're so hard to come by how did you get them?" I asked quietly. Potter rolled his eyes as I stared down at it with fascination.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked him after I was done inspecting the mirror.

"Get Sirius" he ordered. I looked at the bed beside me. Sirius wasn't sleeping next to me which was nice of him but weird that'd he'd taken me in the first place.

"He's sleeping like normal people are at this hour" I said Potter just gave me a look. I sighed and headed out of the bedroom and into the living room. Sirius was sleeping soundly on the couch. Tomorrow I'd kill him.

I sat on the coffee table then began to gentle shake Sirius awake.

"Mm… Lily?" he muttered lifting his head slightly.

"Hi, kidnapping is illegal you know. I'm sure you'll be hearing from my dad soon" I said

"I was afraid of that" he said stretching before sitting up and putting his face in his hands.

"Oh and Potter is on your mirror" I said holding it up. He took it from me and sighed.

"Jimmy what the fuck are you doing?" Sirius asked politely. I slid onto the couch next to Sirius and wrapped my arms around his waist resting my head on his shoulder so I could stare at the mirror as well.

"Apparently your family thinks you still live here" Potter said with a sigh

"Oh no"

"It's just Regulus he needs to talk with you" Potter said then disappeared from view and Regulus Black took his place.

"I need help" he said

"I know" Sirius said

"No… I did something… really… really stupid" Regulus said exasperated.

"Shocker" Sirius muttered glancing at me. He moved his arm and put it around me pulling me a little closer.

"Can I come talk to you in person?" Regulus asked.

"No… none of _you_ will set foot in my home" Sirius replied

"Riri…" Regulus said quietly. Sirius took a deep breath and glanced at me as if asking me but he knew what I would say.

"Put James back on" he said Regulus nodded and handed the mirror to Potter.

"So?"

"Bring him here" Sirius sighed and Potter nodded then he was gone and all that was left was Sirius reflection.

"I should put on some pants" he muttered and stood up. I realised he was only wearing boxer shorts. I followed him to his room and leant in the doorway.

"Why kidnap me?" I asked

"Hey feel free to leave" he said picking up a pair of pants and sniffing them. Deeming them clean he slipped into them and picked up a belt from the floor. He walked over and leant against me.

"My family has weird seventeenths… I should be more careful I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"Weird… what do you mean? Did you do magic without realising?" I asked he nodded.

"Its fine I suppose so long as my parents don't find out and I'm back before dad goes to work"

"What time does he start?"

"Two in the morning"

"It's four-thirty love"

"I'm so dead" I muttered.

"Does he check on you before he leaves?"

"Yeah"

"We're both dead" Sirius said cheerfully and patted my arm before heading over to the couch and lying down on it. I walked over and stood near him frowning.

"Why were you sleeping on the couch?" I asked

"Well I woke up after a very pretty seventeen-year-old girl landed in my lap. I thought it best you not wake up next to me without any recollection of how you got here in the first place" he said taking hold of my hand and using it to pull me on top of him.

There was the familiar _crack_ indicating Potter had brought Regulus. I sat up on top of Sirius saw a very tired looking Potter standing beside the wide awake Regulus Black. Sirius sat up and pulling me close he stood up carrying me in his arms. He lifted me over the couch and set me down while he walked around and then came to stand beside me.

"I'm really sorry. I know today's-" Regulus began but Sirius cut him off.

"Just… what did you do?" Regulus looked at Potter and me apprehensively. Neither of us made an effort to move.

"It's fine this is my girlfriend" Sirius said.

"Oh does she…?"

"Yeah she knows…" Sirius said then stopped "she's a witch. She goes to Hogwarts… used to hang out with Snape"

"Oh hey Lily… you've filled out nicely" Regulus said. I stared at him in surprise

"Uh… thank you" I said as Sirius put an arm around me and held me to him. I could hear his heart beating a little faster then it should be. I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and continued to stare at Regulus.

"What is it?" Sirius asked Regulus looked at Potter who shook his head.

"What?!" Sirius barked startling me. He began to run his fingers through my hair breathing slowly.

"It's bad" was all Potter said.

Regulus pulled up his left sleeve and on his forearm was black tattoo of a skull with a snake coming from its mouth.

"Oh God" I said and Sirius yanked me away from his brother pulling out his wand aiming straight for Regulus's chest.

"James" Sirius said. Potter came over and took my arm pulling me out from the living room into Sirius bedroom.

I sat on the bed as Potter closed the door.

"Was that…?" I stopped frowning at my hands.

"You-Know-Who's mark? Yeah… looks like Regulus is shaping up to be more like his parents…" Potter muttered leaning against the door as Sirius and Regulus began shouting at each other.

"Are they… uh… Deatheaters?" I asked

"No… no, but they do think You-Know-Who has the right idea"

"Should I leave?" I asked

"No I don't think Sirius would let Regulus near you" Potter replied then came to sit beside me.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Fine" I said nodding.

You-Know-Who was a dark wizard determined on ridding the world of muggles and anything associated, so people like my family and me were hunted down and killed by him and his army of Deatheaters.

I had enough trouble at school with Slytherin house, You-Know-Who's old house filled with purebloods who all held similar values to him, jinxing and cursing muggle-borns and half bloods alike, now I had to worry about being _killed_ by this guy.

I flinched when I heard furniture breaking.

"I was wondering when that would happen" Potter said "It's not a Black family reunion unless someone's throwing furniture"

"So you've met his family?"

"Ah… unfortunately yes…purebloods get together a lot. Have fancy parties… all the time… the Blacks invited us, first and last time I might add. It's where I met Sirius, kept telling me it was wrong to think the way his parents did, I agreed though didn't say it. My parents did teach me manners. Well apparently no one had taught them the right pureblood way and they might have said something a bit muggle friendly and… well end of story"

"I'm sure there's more then that…" I said

"Yes and you'll never ever hear it ever" he said making me smile. The brothers shouting continued and it was muffled by the wall but if it got any louder we'd be able to hear clearly what they were saying.

I looked at Potter his black hair was as unruly as ever. He was also 5'8 like Sirius and all the time they spent together at school and away from it made people often mistake them as brothers though they didn't look much alike. Aside from the mischievous glint in their eyes and charming grin they both had. Though Sirius could spin a tale as tall as Everest, Potter had never had a situation he couldn't argue his way out of. Though strangely most of the time he didn't. I think he liked being stuck in detentions with his friends.

He was captain of the Qudditch team and had the perfect balance between that and his school life often achieving high marks in his subjects.

I noticed he wasn't wearing his glasses. It was strange seeing him without them. Almost like a part of him was missing.

"Leave in a hurry?" I asked when he noticed my gaze.

"Yeah… well I did have Regulus screaming in my face it didn't really occur to me I'd need to see" he said

"You have nice eyes… I've always wanted hazel eyes…" I said

"Why? Yours are nice"

"Yes but it's such a red head thing. I've never met a red head with hazel eyes, blue, and green or brown but not hazel" I said.

"So are you long sighted or short sighted?" I asked him he looked a bit shocked by the question but got over it quickly.

"Short sighted" he said trying not to laugh.

"What?"

"I can't believe we're talking about my eye sight" he said with a chuckle.

"Yes well it's like four in the morning I'm not thinking about good conversation topics. 'Nice weather we're having' is a bit stupid at night time" I said with a shrug.

"Shouting's stopped" Potter said heading to the door.

"Potter-" I said

"James" he interrupted

"Huh?"

"You're dating my best friend. You can call me James"

"Oh… sorry force of habit… James… do you really think you should go out there if the shoutings stopped?"

"They could be dead"

"Good point" I said and followed him into the living room.

Sirius was picking up Regulus as we walked in. He carried him past us and tossed him on the bed.

"Are you ok?" I asked taking in his messy hair and bleeding nose.

"Yes. Regulus will be staying with us for a while. You can go James" Sirius said. James glanced at me then looked at Sirius.

"Are you sure you know what your doing?" James asked.

"No but when have I?" Sirius replied James nodded and gave me a small smile before heading to the front door.

Sirius took my hand and led me into the living room, he sat on the couch and I sat next to him.

"Is he ok?" I asked

"He's just scared"

"So you beat the crap out of him?"

"Well I was angry at first… then I realised that he probably doesn't need that right?" Sirius muttered pulling me onto him and lying down making me lie with him. He pulled a blanket over us and tried to get to sleep. I rested my head on his chest quite awake now.

"No he doesn't…" I said "oh and Sirius…"

"Hmm?" he said quietly as he slowly drifted off.

"Happy birthday"

"Thanks" he said softly.

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It's so hot! It was 45 Celsius today, which is 113 Fahrenheit. Half the cities power went out and there was no power so people had no air con and the traffic lights were broken and over 500 trains were cancelled so all in all a crap day for all. So this chapter is a little weird but whatever I'll blame the heat. Don't forget to leave a review thanks, Penny.

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	3. Are You on Drugs?

Chapter Three: Are You on Drugs?

I woke up and frowned glancing around before realising where I was. I nestled closer to him smiling as he muttered incoherently in his sleep.

"Shh no we need more chocolate stars" Sirius mumbled. I smiled then slowly went to climb off him. He gripped me tighter.

"It's ok… I'm just going to get chocolate stars" I whispered and felt his grip loosen on me. I carefully got off him and stumbled tiredly into the kitchen. It was about nine in the morning so I'd gotten around about enough sleep if I added the hours before I got here.

I pulled open a few cupboards to see if I could make any breakfast. I was quite thankful this was a muggle flat. I'd never been to a _dedicated_ pureblood's flat but I doubted they'd have needs for fridges and stoves when with the flick of a wand they had what they needed. I pulled open a few cupboards and found a few basic ingredients. After checking the fridge I saw I could make pancakes. I looked around for a frypan to make sure I could cook them before making the batter.

I'd always been a morning person. And even after a basically sleepless night I was still feeling pretty chipper. I knew I'd probably crash and burn by tonight but that didn't matter.

I was standing at the bench stirring when the bedroom door opened.

"Hey" Regulus said I glanced at Sirius then back at Regulus.

"Oh sorry" he whispered and quietly crept over.

"What are you doing?"

"Making pancakes" I replied

"You can make them?" he asked then shook his head. "I mean-"

"I know what you meant yes you can do it from scratch" I said indicating to the ingredients I had on the bench.

"So do you usually spend the night?" Regulus asked. I shook my head

"So we're both unaware of what Sirius is like in the morning"

"Yeah I doubt it'll be too horrible but just in case I have pancakes to calm him" I said and Regulus smiled looking more like his handsome older brother then ever.

"So he was pretty mad at you?" I asked quietly.

"Shocker" he said dryly. "I don't hate you Lily"

"I know" I said and stopped stirring placing the bowl to the side so it could set a little. I began to pack up the things I'd used.

"Lily…"

"You don't have to explain your actions. Your life is yours to do with it what you wish" I said looking at him. He nodded and stared down at the bench.

Right now he looked almost like a stranger; he was obviously deeply worried and disturbed by something judging by the lines on his pale face. The grey eyes he shared with his brother were dark as he thought deeply.

Sirius groaned from the couch causing me and Regulus to look over at him.

"Morning" he muttered his fringe sticking up on the right because he'd slept on it funny.

"Are you cooking?" he asked falling off the couch and then calmly walking over to us.

"Pancakes" I said

"Aw thank you baby" he said kissing my forehead "do you want to have a shower?"

"I'm good"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I assume your going to make me stay here for the whole day. So there is no chance I'll give you any opportunity to see me naked. And no, that is not a challenge" I said he pouted then looked at Regulus.

"You go have a shower" he said

"Aka go away so we can make-out" Regulus muttered Sirius just put his hand over his brother's face and pushed him away before turning to me.

"So Lillian what do you wish to do today?"

"Well it's your birthday so whatever you want is fine" I said.

"Whatever I want?" he asked.

"Sirius-"

"You were more then willing yesterday!" he pointed out.

"Yes but that was before I realised my boyfriend was a kind sweet man who would be faithfully patient with me" I said with a grin then began to heat up the fry pan on the stove to cook the pancakes.

"Damn" he muttered.

"So it's your birthday… and you've got a whole day with me. And even if you wasted half of it sleeping it still counts" I said pouring bits of the batter onto the frypan and held the spatula ready to flip the pancakes.

"I know" he said sadly making me smile. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder.

"They'll burn if you distract me" I muttered he said nothing and began to kiss my neck. There was a soft tapping on the window and we both turned. A small owl sat tapping the window.

"Birthday gifts?" I asked as Sirius walked over to the window to let it in. It dropped its gift on the bench before flying off out the window. Sirius walked over to it and yelped when he turned it over.

"What?"

"It's from my parents" he said in disgust. I frowned at him then looked at the letter in the table.

"Open it" I said

"I'm stupid Lily not retarded" he said I stared at him and he sighed picking it up.

I nodded then turned back to the pancakes and flipped a few of them relieved they were nice and golden brown like they should be. I looked back at Sirius who was reading the letter his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Is it bad news?" I asked as he lowered the letter looking even more confused.

"Uh… it's from my parents" he said

"What did they say?" I asked

"Well just best wishes for my life, I'm off the family tree, don't fuck up the family name anymore. You know the usual kind of thing" he said I stared at him trying to figure out if he needed something to hit or a hug.

"They haven't written anything to me in over a year and haven't spoken to me in even longer" he said sitting down on a stool at the bench. I flipped the pancakes onto a plate and put them down in front of him.

"You're not telling me everything" I said leaning on the bench so I was a little closer to him.

"Well… they're throwing me a party apparently" he said I stood up straight staring down at him.

"What?"

"I know. Taking into consideration their immense dislike of me I think it's fairly safe to assume it's a trap" he said frowning at the letter he'd left on the bench.

"You think mum and dad would try to kill you?" Regulus asked walking over to sit beside his brother. I turned back to the pancake batter so I could cook some more for Regulus.

"I wouldn't put it past them" Sirius said

"I'd go with you but this lovely thing on my arm is preventing me from doing so" Regulus said bitterly.

"Wouldn't they welcome you with honours?" I asked turning to look at Regulus. The Black brothers both stared at me with identical looks on their faces.

"I don't understand how dysfunctional family's… you know… function" I mumbled turning back to the pancakes.

"They don't" they both said.

"Enough about our family tell me about yours" Sirius said

"You met them" I said flipping the pancakes over so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"No I met the fake version. The version they project to guests. In fact I think your sister was the only one being real" he said.

"Yes she doesn't care who hates her. It's a nice way to live your life. I couldn't do it personally" I said.

"Hey… how old are you?" Regulus asked I looked at him then realised he was talking to Sirius.

"You don't know how old your brother is?" I asked

"How old is your sister?" Regulus asked

"Twenty-one" I replied.

"Oh well… how old are you?" Regulus asked Sirius.

"Seventeen"

"Seventeen! That means-" Regulus began but Sirius put his hand over his mouth then smiled at me.

"That I can use magic outside school. Yes it does, well done, Regulus" he said still smiling. I looked at him sceptically.

"Spill it"

"It's just pureblood tradition that's all. Gift from my ancestor's blah, blah, blah" Sirius said airily and released his brother

"What?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it love" he said.

"It's fine… I should be getting home soon anyway" I said.

"Really? You can't stay?" Regulus asked I frowned at him

"Your already in trouble what are they going to do ground you more?" Sirius asked.

"Probably… have a nice day; I'll probably see you again at school ok?" I said he pouted at me.

"Sirius… I have to go" I said he nodded still looking miserable. I shook my head and went to the door.

I heard a small whine from Sirius that made me laugh

"You're like a puppy" I said he beamed "still leaving"

He looked like a small child who'd been denied a sweet. I ignored him

"Sirius my dad will kill me" I said pulling open the door and Sirius gasped. I spun around in alarm.

"There's no one there" he assured me I glared at him and then left the flat.

I'm not what most people would call a bad girl. I mean I've never been grounded before in my life. And well in comparison to my sister I'm a saint. I'd never been in trouble at school; my parents hadn't even had letters about me.

So it was of course no surprise that when I did get home at noon my parents were sitting at the table ready for what I assumed was an intervention. I'd participated in many on Petunia's behalf.

I almost jumped when I saw my sister sitting where I usually sat after she'd climbed in through a window after a long night.

"Morning guys" I said hoping they'd assume I'd just come from my bedroom. They did not.

"Sit down please Lily" mum said. I sat opposite my family feeling very isolated as they glared at me from across the table. I knew of course why I sat alone; there was no escape, no help.

"I'm sure you know why you're here" mum said quietly.

"No" I said honestly. I sort of did…

I sneak out once and I get an intervention, how is that fair?

"We're worried about your behaviour" mum said

"You have to take everything from me don't you? I'm the screw up!" Petunia snapped. My parents frowned at her.

"Tuni don't defend that title" dad muttered.

"Dad… I…"

"I cancelled work when I noticed my baby girl not in her bed!" dad said. "You were in _his_ bed weren't you?"

"No I was on the couch" I said then cringed. I'd just stuffed up my excuse. My parents gasped.

"I didn't want to go he made me!" I said

"He kidnapped you?" mum asked going extremely pale.

"No!" I cried.

"Look… uh you know when I get really mad and sometimes things explode" I said. My family nodded slowly, I could see by the look on their faces they were trying to gauge how mad I was at the moment.

"Well it can really happen with any wizard when they feel any emotion strong enough. Its wand less magic, pretty advanced to trigger it wilfully most people just do it by accident. So Sirius, by accident, transported me to his flat" I said.

"What was he feeling so strongly? Oh wait I got it never mind" Petunia said while my parents both looked very embarrassed.

"I'm sure that's not what he was thinking" I said.

"Still it's not excusable. You should have transported yourself right home" dad said after an awkward pause.

"I don't have my licence" I said

"You don't have a car either" dad pointed out.

"No my Apparation licence… its how wizards travel. It's like teleporting" I said.

"Are you on drugs? Is that it?" mum asked.

"What!" I cried

"You don't have to be high to be happy sweetie" mum said starting to cry.

"I'm not on drugs!"

"Then why are you dating a criminal? And sneaking out at ungodly hours?" mum asked on the verge of hysterical.

"I just explained!" I cried then fell silent and stared at my parents.

"You're over reacting. I've only ever been out at night once and it wasn't my fault!"

"We want to help you" mum said

"The only thing I need help with is my potions homework!" I snapped.

"We'd like you to speak to Petunia's psychiatrist… we scheduled a meeting later this week" mum said. I sighed. Great my parents think I'm a drug addicted psychopath. I'll never be allowed back to Hogwarts.

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"Did he help?" dad asked as I walked into the house with mum.

"He said we'd over reacted" mum muttered "told us we were stressed. Said I should try and _get some_ and told Lily to masturbate"

"He says that to everyone" Petunia said "it helps relieve stress"

"Thank you Tuni" mum said quietly.

"Right well… sorry about that one Lily" dad said.

"It's all right. You're just doing your civic duty to keep drugies such as myself off the street" I said "I'm going to go relieve some stress!" and with that I walked into my room slamming the door behind me. I lay down on my bed glaring at the ceiling. You look up paranoid in the dictionary and my parents pictures will be there.

"Lily?" I heard mum call as she knocked on my door.

"Can't a girl get high in peace?" I asked.

"Sweetheart we know your upset…" dad said.

"Great! Good now let me wallow" I said. I heard them walk off and closed my eyes deciding the only way to survive the rest of this God-awful summer was to sleep through it.

I woke up panting and oddly aroused. Heat was pulsing through my body and a burning pleasure was strong in my abdomen. I clutched the sheets as my back arched off the bed and cried out as waves of pleasure washed over me. I screamed as I climaxed and screamed louder when I saw Sirius lying in between my legs.

I was still breathing heavily as his fingers slipped out of me.

"Oh my God" I breathed. He crawled up the bed his knees resting beside my hips and his hands next to my head.

"Wow you're a screamer" he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. That sentence took a lot of concentrating; I could still fell soft waves pulsing through me. He just smiled and kissed me. He moved down to my neck and I moaned feeling heat begin to grow in my stomach.

"Oh my God my parents must've heard" I said and went to sit up but Sirius didn't move an inch so I lay back down and stared up at him.

"Silencing charm… and your door is locked so no unwanted visitors"

"Yet here you are" I muttered.

"You enjoyed that" he said.

"That wasn't consensual"

"Actually you kept saying, yes oh god yes" he said doing a rather horrible impersonation of me. I leant up and kissed him softly before falling back onto my pillows. He smiled and began to kiss me again. My breath hitched as he moved down to kiss along the top of my dress. He kissed me reassuringly on the lips before slipping his hands underneath and slowly lifted the hem leaving a trail of kisses on the skin he exposed.

"Just tell me if you want to stop" he whispered in my ear. I nodded my nerves combining with my excitement practically choking me.

He pulled the dress over my head and took my face in his hands kissing me softly. He sat up straddling me his hands fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.

"Do you want to do this?" he asked. I stared at the pale bit of skin he'd just revealed then looked back up at his face. I nodded and he gave me a sly grin. He kissed me his strong hands roaming freely over my torso. I bit my lip as he rubbed my breast kissing and licking his way down to my stomach. He sat up again his hands fiddling with his belt.

"Last chance… are you sure about this?" he asked I looked at him and the bulge in his pants indicating which way he'd like this to go. I looked into his eyes and nodded.

"Can I get some verbal confirmation love?" he asked. I nodded making him laugh.

I took a deep breath knowing how _he_ wanted me to respond. My own body nearly on fire in anticipation so I knew how _it _wanted me to respond.

"I… I want you to fuck me" I said

"Oh that is so hot" he said kissing me fiercely and all the remaining clothes were rapidly shed. A quick contraceptive charm was cast and he began to kiss along my jaw.

"This will be a bit uncomfortable but I'll try not to hurt you" he whispered in my ear.

"That is not going to fit" I said he smiled and kissed me

"It will. Just relax" he assured me. I bit my lip and let out a yelp when he pushed into me.

"You all right?" he asked

"Yeah" I breathed, he pushed in more and I winced.

"Oh fuck" he said I stared at him in alarm. "Don't worry, relax… your doing so well"

His breathing ragged and quick in my ear as he pushed in more making me scream. His lips covered mine so I screamed into his mouth. He thrust the rest in quickly and I screamed again but his tongue in my mouth pretty much silenced it. He stopped, fully inside me now so I could get used to him a little bit before he pulled out slightly and thrust back in making me moan mostly in discomfort. He set up a steady rhythm slow at first but as I got used to it and began to moan softly he quickened his pace. It wasn't long before he was groaning in my ear whispering unimportant nothings in my ear. With a strangled cry he came, spilling his warm seed deep within me. He thrust into me a few more times until I screamed my release and he gently pulled out of me.

"Wow" I breathed taking in long deep breaths as I tried to steady my breathing.

"You're amazing" Sirius said I looked at him, his satisfied looking grin and kissed him softly.

"Thanks…" I muttered "that was… wow"

"Yeah… you know next time you can actually touch me at some point" he said I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself closer with my head resting on his chest.

"Sorry, I was nervous, I mean you touching me was daunting" I muttered he smiled. I stood up going to find some clothes or something only to fall flat on the floor.

"Uh… am I going to be able to walk again?" I asked looking at him.

"Yes" he assured me and helped me up from the floor and under the covers where he joined me wrapping his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest letting my eyes droop shut.

"No surprise attacks" I murmured.

"None?" he asked I chuckled softly and soon fell asleep on top of him.

I woke up feeling strangely relaxed and quickly glanced around. Sirius was standing in front of my bookshelf reading the Wizard of Oz.

"Hi" I said he jumped and looked at me.

"They really don't like this witch"

"She's wicked" I said simply.

"Is this what you muggles grow up on… no wonder your parents are wary" he muttered. I stretched and sat up holding the covers up over my chest. He walked over and sat beside me putting an arm around my shoulders.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked

"Only an hour" he replied.

"Thanks for sticking around…"

"I couldn't leave you. Plus your parents are out there and I think it'd be a little weird if I just waltzed through the house half naked" he said I smiled.

"Did you want a shower?" I asked

"Trying to say something Ms Evans?" he questioned sounding quite affronted. I raised my eyebrows and picking up my dress from the floor slipping easily into it.

"You can go home of course" I muttered. He may not want a shower but I did, I went to look through my drawers to find some clean clothes to change into.

He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back onto the bed pinning me down with his hands and legs. He kissed me fiercely I moaned and pulled away from him.

"I…" was all I could cough out but he understood climbing off me and simply kissing me softly.

"I'm going to shower" I said

"May I join you?" he asked wriggling his eyebrows suggestively making me laugh.

"No but I do have to sneak you out so please put on some clothes" I said. He sighed dramatically and began to find all his clothes.

With him close behind me I quietly opened the door and glanced around.

"Mum?" I called, no response

"Dad?" silence.

"We're good" I said.

"You smell like sex" I screamed and turned around staring at my sister who grinned at us.

"Hello Sirius" she said brightly.

"Petunia" he said coughing and looking down at me.

"So, details… are you a virgin?" Petunia asked me

"That's none of your business"

"That's a big yes. Aw Lily you're all grown up" she said cheerfully then looked at Sirius.

"How'd you do it?" she asked

"Ordinarily… didn't want to freak her out"

"Yeah first time my boyfriend tried to-"

"Hey don't you have a wedding to plan?" I interrupted.

"Yeah… I'm proud of you… and honestly, don't you feel more relaxed?" she asked and walked off to her room. I spun around and looked at Sirius

"I like her" he said I snorted and allowed him to pull me close.

"I think I will take that shower" he said

"Ok… I'll wait" I said

"No… you won't" he said taking my hand and leading me down to the bathroom.

"How do you know where my bathroom is?" I asked

"Process of elimination. I've seen your room; the kitchen and the lounge room and know that's Petunia's room. So it's one of these three doors" he said pointing to them.

"Linen closet, parent's bedroom" I said pointing them out.

"Oh lets do it in your parent's bedroom" he said

"No way!" I cried he smiled

"I'm joking" he said and opened the bathroom door and pulled me to him closing the door with his foot and pushing me against it. He kissed me softly not trying anything shifty just kissing me softly with his hands on my hips.

I heard the front door open and my parents chattering fill the hall. Sirius pulled back slightly his breath tickling my cheek.

"Oh Tuni have you seen Lily?" mum asked.

"Yeah she's in the bathroom… I'll go grab her" Petunia said, I could almost hear the glee in her voice. She knocked on the door.

"Lily… can I come in?" she asked. I stepped away from the door while Sirius stepped to the side and I pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway.

"You have a visitor…" she said and pointed over her shoulder where Serverus Snape stood I squealed and hurried into the bathroom.

"You have to go" I said to Sirius.

"What? Who is it? It's not your cute muggle boyfriend is it?" he asked I shook my head.

"Just go" I said and hurried into the hall again while Petunia smiled a nasty little grin.

I hurried into the kitchen.

"Hi Serverus" I said

"Hi Lily" he said quietly.

"We felt really bad about the psychiatrist thing. Then I remembered you saying you need help with your potions and well the only wizard we know is young Serverus here so we thought we'd ask him round for you" mum said brightly.

"Thanks" I said while Petunia snorted.

"Uh… well let's head over to my room… to study" I said glaring at Petunia who winked as I walked past Serverus trailing behind me. I led him to my room and shut the door.

"Sorry about my parents" I said.

"Its fine… better then being around mine" he muttered. I smiled and sat on my bed indicating for him to take the desk chair.

Serverus Snape was in my year at Hogwarts. He lived pretty close by and was actually the first wizard I ever met. He's helped me out a lot in helping me understand the wizarding world and was also my first friend, sad I know but it's true.

He was taller then me by a few good inches and was often hunched over his latest experiment. There was no denying he was intelligent he always had something to say though very often he didn't. His black hair fell loosely around his face and his dark eyes stared intently at the ground as we sat in an awkward silence. I wanted desperately to say something but nothing came to mind.

When we got to Hogwarts we seemed to drift apart as we got sorted into different houses and although every summer we did try to see each other it was just getting harder.

"So what are you having trouble with?" he asked. There was a loud crack I screamed and turned around to find Sirius leaning casually on my dresser.

"For starters that guy" I said to Serverus who was looking at Sirius with distaste.

They didn't get along to great.

"Wow… two hours after I slept with you and you've already run off to someone else" Sirius said. I groaned.

"God Sirius! You can have your petty squabbles I don't care but _do not_ use me to try and get a rise from him!" I snapped glaring at him. He looked at his shoes and muttered and apology.

"Lily-"

"Don't you start!" I said turning to Serverus. He fell silent.

"Great… now Sirius if you want we can talk later" I said looking at him he nodded silently.

"Or we could just talk now" he muttered.

"Go home Regulus must've broken something by now go yell at him" I said. He nodded and walked over to me going to kiss me but I leant back.

"I see" he said quietly and disappeared with a _crack_.

I turned to Serverus.

"Sorry… so yes potions…" I said.

"Do you really want to talk about our potions homework?" he asked.

"God no!" I said resting my head in my hands.

"Can we just talk? Like we used to?"

"What? Whinging about our lousy families and what a prat Potter is?" Serverus asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"Sure" he said I smiled.

It was nice. I hadn't had many people to talk to over summer and I'm not usually one to surround myself with heaps of friends. At school I'm a bit of a loser and at home I'm even worse.

We spoke for hours, I told him about my parent's latest surge of paranoia and he said his dad was back in rehab.

"I think you win" I said

"Yeah" he agreed. We settled into a comfortable silence and remained so until he had to head home.

"I'd forgotten how nice it was to talk to you" I said leaning in the door way as he stood on my front porch.

"Me too…" he said.

"You will try to take my advice right?" I asked

"Yes" he promised.

"Well… I hope to see you soon…" I said

"Yeah… I love you" he said I stared at him.

"No! No like a sister. I just… you're like the sister I never got to have… I appreciate it that's all"

"Oh…" I said with a smile "well I love you like the brother I never got"

"So… see you" he said

"Uh Lily… you know… during summer… but… at school…"

"Yeah…" I said quietly. We both stared at each other, simultaneously realising this is the last time we'd ever truly see each other.

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I'm trying to update every fortnight or so as school is just getting crazy busy.

Anyway… weird chapter I know but it's one in the morning and I'm tired but I had to finish because I knew my faithful _reviewers_ would need to _review_. So _review_ please, Penny

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	4. I Stole the Badge from Moony

Chapter Four: I Stole the Badge from Moony

"Your going to be late" mum said shaking her head.

"I'm never late" dad said swerving into a car park so quickly that we all screamed as he did it.

We all got out of the car and I walked round to the boot and pulled out my school trunk.

"Ok photo, photo"

"Mum!"

"It's your last year" mum cried and made Petunia, dad and I huddle together as she took a photo.

"Perfect" she said beaming.

"Aw Lily my baby girl is head girl…" mum said looking like she was about to cry. I glanced at Petunia who was staring at mum weirdly. We all headed into Kings Cross station, dad wheeling my school trunk while my sister walked beside me her blonde hair tied away from her face. She followed me through the barrier that separated the ordinary train station packed with normal people and the magic platform that the Hogwarts express departed from.

We waited for my parents who appeared a second later and followed me along the platform through the swarm of students leaving their families.

"I'm so proud of you" mum said hugging me.

Want to know how to get out of trouble and get ungrounded? Become your schools head girl.

"Lily!"

I screamed and collapsed under the weight of a cheerful girl.

"Hey Tash" I muttered as she hugged me tightly.

"Uh… can you get off?" I asked

"Oh sorry" she said standing up and offering her hand. I took it and she pulled me up.

"You must be Lily's family, Tash Tucker" she said shaking everyone's hand.

"Bet your mighty proud… head girl" Tash said with a smile

"I'll see you on the train yeah?" she asked I nodded and she hugged me again.

"We have to catch up" she said and skipped away. Yes skipped. Her brown curls bouncing as she disappeared.

"Tash Tucker?" dad asked

"Natasha… she's in a different house but she's gorgeous and just so sweet" I said.

"Lily!"

I turned prepared for another pouncing friend but it was just James Potter.

"Oh hi" I said

"Hey Evans's" he said to my parents who smiled in reply.

"Do you know who the head boy is?" he asked I shook my head

"It's not Remus?"

"Nah, kind of bummed out about that. No more excuses out of detention" he said with a small sigh his eyebrows shot up.

"Head girl?" he asked I nodded

"There's hope for me yet. I know you'll probably sit with your friends but if you drop by to see Sirius we'll be down the back"

"Marauder compartment?" I asked

"Marauder compartment" he confirmed and walked away to find the rest of his friends.

"When do you have to leave?" mum asked hugging me.

"Not for a few minutes"

"Good valuable hugging time should not be wasted" she said patting my head softly.

"Vi… let her go you'll suffocate her" dad said

"No…" mum said "just… it's the last time I have to do this. I want to make it last. And make sure you never forget your father and I love you very much"

"Ok… you can let go" I said but she didn't.

"Violet…" dad said. Mum slowly pulled away to glare at him but realised he wasn't even watching us. Mum and I turned and looked over to see what he was staring at.

Sirius was walking in front of his younger brother who followed, both of them walking with haughty confidence. But I could sort of tell why, behind them walked their parents. His mother, tall thin and with a beautiful dainty elegance her black hair tied back nicely a few loose bits falling down to her waist. Her husband also tall and thin which in my personal opinion made him a lot more frightening then if he were some huge muscular man.

Sirius stopped in front of me

"Lily" he said curtly and his parents stopped frowning at him while Regulus looked worried.

"Sirius" I said politely.

"Hey" he said instantly changing his demeanour to the Sirius I recognised.

"Hi" I said and he kissed me and spun me around so I was facing his parents.

"Lily, my parents" he said

"Parents, my Lily" he said with a grin.

"She's pretty" Mrs Black said fanning herself with a black lace fan.

"What's wrong with her?" Mr Black asked. I heard mum scoff but I held out a hand behind me to stop her.

"Oh… muggles" Mrs Black said looking genuinely disgusted. I heard my sister actually laugh.

"This is going down in history as your worst idea ever" I said to Sirius who smiled.

"I just wanted to see your dad shoot mine" he said as my parents glared at his.

Passers by were beginning to stare as my parents glares were growing darker and the Blacks practically mirroring them.

"Well… see you guys" Sirius said picking me up and holding me in one arm as the other one grabbed my trunk.

"I'll write and stuff" I promised my parents as Sirius carried me away.

"What about your stuff?" I asked.

"Already on the train, I just wanted to see you" he said

"And piss off our parents?" I added.

"Hey… I'm Sirius Black; disobedience is like my calling card" he said making me smile. He carried me onto the train and deposited me in front of a random compartment.

"Thank you Mr Black" I said

"You are most welcome Ms Evans" he said politely and kissed my hand making me blush.

"Want to go out Saturday?" he asked

"Sure" I said

"Great… see you later then" he said kissing me softly before walking off down the narrow hallway packed with students trying to find empty compartments. I walked into the one he'd left me in front of and found Tash Tucker sitting with Claire Everton.

"Lily" Claire said brightly and stood up to help me put my trunk up in the storage space.

Tash and Claire were both in Ravenclaw and like me practically lived in the library. Ravenclaws are all pretty brainy and do extremely well academically usually preferring to sit in the library and read something then do nothing. They'd actually though I was in their house and were quite shocked to find out I was a Gryffindor.

They were my best friends and well really my only ones to be quite honest.

Tash was slightly shorter then me with beautiful olive skin and a bright smile that never seemed to leave her face.

Claire was tall and thin with short straight chestnut brown hair and glowing pale blue eyes that instantly understood any emotion running across your face.

"So Lily did you see Sirius this summer?" Tash asked

"Yes he met my parents" I said and the two girls grimaced.

"That would have been fun" Claire said

"Hey I thought your parents don't know you had a boyfriend"

"They didn't" I said

"Oh no"

"Yeah I got grounded but un-grounded when I got head girl" I said

"Yes no more detention" Tash cried she began to dance with joy.

"I'm not abusing my position"

"You said that about being a prefect but that year I was strangely good" Tash said with a smile.

"This time is different I can't stuff this up"

"Fine I'll just beg Potter" she said

"Hmm?"

"Yeah, he's head boy. Didn't you know?" Claire said.

"No… I spoke to him before he didn't say anything"

"Really? Weird" Claire muttered.

"Tell me about your summer… I've had enough of mine" I said.

"Oh I just sunbaked" Claire said with a smile "though I really only got sunburnt but points for trying"

"My parents dragged me all over the country. I don't need to see it I live here, but no we had to do it through a tourist angle" Tash muttered.

"Wow that would have been great" I said

"Be a bigger nerd" Tash said laughing.

"Well… I'm a dork…" I said while she nodded.

The train continued its journey north and we were now drifting by the country side as the train sped past.

The sweet old lady with the lolly cart came round but we all refused having lived off nothing but particularly unhealthy things throughout the summer.

"I had pizza eight days in a row… my parents weren't that big with the cooking" Claire said eyeing the various sweets uneasily.

We continued to catch up talk over our summers and of course compare homework. As night dawned the train began to slow and pulled into Hogsmeade station.

Leaving our things behind to be brought up later Tash led the way into the hall. It was packed with students all trying to get onto the platform.

"Head girl coming through!" Tash cried "move or you'll get detentions"

Everyone cleared the hallway almost immediately and Tash led the way through the gap in people easily.

"Tash…" I scolded but she merely grinned in response and hopped off the train. I climbed off and waited for Claire who quickly followed and hurried with us across the platform and begin the short walk up to Hogwarts gates.

"Going to go flying tonight?" Tash asked quietly as we waited to get into a carriage that would take us right up to the school.

"Not tonight but definitely soon… I've gone a whole summer without it" I muttered.

"Cool I got the new Star Light for my birthday… you know if you want to borrow it" Tash muttered I squealed and hugged her.

"Oh thank you" I said

"Not a problem…" she said.

"Ah Lily"

I turned and saw the Marauders.

"We'll talk to you later Lily" Claire said taking Tash's hand and leading her off to talk to some other Ravenclaw girls standing near by.

"Do they not like us?" James asked

"Impossible" Sirius said

"Well I did hate you for the first five years I was here…" I muttered. "Oh and Potter what was the deal with not telling me you made head boy?"

"Because you'd have screamed at me and claimed I stole the badge from Moony" James said glancing at Remus.

"I wouldn't have _screamed_ at you…" I muttered awkwardly.

"I think you two guys would make a great team" Sirius said putting his arm around each of us.

"Don't you think so?" Sirius asked Remus and Peter who exchanged glances and nodded.

"See perfect… Dumbledore clearly new what he was doing… and you get to spend all this time together" Sirius said pushing us closer together.

"I'm sure it'll be neat. I'll see you all later ok" I said smiling at James as I walked over to where Claire and Tash were getting into a carriage.

"So?" Claire asked.

"Just Sirius telling me how great it'll be now James and I are head boy and girl"

"James?" Claire asked

"Yeah"

"Not Potter?"

"Yeah when'd you start calling him James?" Tash asked.

"He's my boyfriend's best friend…" I said distractedly. They let the subject drop but Claire kept shooting me curious glances.

We crossed Hogwarts grounds and clambered out heading toward the huge oak doors that were the entrance to the ancient castle that was my home away from home.

Following the surge of students heading across the entrance hall and into the great hall. I smiled at the familiar ceiling of the great hall that reflected the sky outside and the four tables that ran down the length of the hall while up the top sat the staff table. I sat down with my fellow Gryffindor's and we waiting for the new first years to be brought in to be sorted. I felt someone's arms snake around my waist and turned too glared at Sirius who was smiling at me. I turned around to face the front as the first years walked in led by my head of house Professor McGonagall.

I jerked when I felt Sirius hands slip into my skirt. I couldn't even turn around to yell at him I completely froze. Remus who'd been sitting on my other side glanced over and stared at my horrified expression before his eyes drifted lower and he gave Sirius his 'is that really necessary?' look. Sirius with drew his hands and held them up in surrender so Remus turned back around.

The sorting was finished each first year now with somewhere to sit Professor Dumbledore stood up.

"You're all starving I know I am… so eat up" he said and sat back down.

Food materialised on the tables and chatter immediately began to fill the hall. I hit Sirius

"Are you insane?" I asked him

"Trouble in paradise?" Peter asked taking a sip from his glass.

"What are you doing later tonight?" Sirius asked

"Not you" I said making James and Remus laugh while Peter tried to hide his grin.

"Lily" Sirius whined

"Sirius" I mimicked. "I just don't want to…"

"I can fix that…" he said.

"James can I sit next to you? He'll keep touching me in places" I said. James glanced at his friend and shook his head.

"Sorry Lily guy code" he muttered.

"Guy code?"

"If a guy hasn't gotten any in over four months he can be excused for foolish decisions he makes to get some" James said with a shrug. I looked at Sirius; he had gotten some in the past four months, in the past fortnight.

"You didn't tell them?" I asked quietly. Sirius shook his head.

"Tell them what?" Peter asked.

"Nothing" Sirius and I said. I kissed his cheek

"Maybe" I said and he hugged me pulling me close to him. I rolled my eyes and tried to keep eating as he held me.

After I was finished eating I allowed Sirius to drag me out of the hall but before we could start to climb the stairs that lead to the upper levels we were stopped by the headmaster himself Professor Dumbledore.

"Ms Evans… a word. You to Mr Potter"

"I didn't do it" James said immediately. I frowned at him.

"Sorry force of habit" he said and we both followed Professor Dumbledore up the stairs to his office a few floors above the great hall.

"My head boy and girl" he said as he sat down behind his desk. James and I stood in front of him.

"I picked you both because of your past" he said. We waited for him to continue, he did not.

"What about it?" James asked politely.

"Your differences… I still remember the day you tried to curse each other and went through opposite sides of the green house" Dumbledore said with a hearty chuckle "It cost a lot of money to fix"

James and I looked at the ground.

"Sorry…" we muttered

"Don't worry it's a story to tell the grand kids. Now because of the way you've both over come your squabbles to form a nice cordial relationship. I think it's what this school needs after all with two feuding houses I think you two would make great examples. To show that anyone can over come their differences"

"Sir, no offence meant, but I don't think the feud between Slytherin and Gryffindor is really like what Lily and I had. That's a war of generations ours was… well she's a bitch"

"And you're a right prat" I snapped.

"Still I need my school to at least look like it's united so if the head boy and girl could be united I'd appreciate it" Dumbledore said.

"Yes sir" we both said.

"Good off you go" he said with a kind smile. James held the office door open for me and we both left walking along the silent hallway.

"So… uh… your Qudditch captain this year too right?" I asked him.

"Yeah keep it till you graduate" he said nodding

"Four years is an impressive reign" I said

"Thanks" he said smiling.

"Half your team graduated last year didn't they?" I asked

"Yeah, got to find a new Seeker, Beater, and two new Chasers" he said "I'm so desperate I'd put you on the team"

He laughed and I did too. No one knew I flew; I hadn't flown publicly in front of anyone, except Claire and Tash, since first year.

Smart girls aren't supposed to play sports. It's just not supposed to happen. Especially not Lily Evans.

We walked up several flights of stairs to the seventh floor and stopped in front of the portrait of the fat lady who guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"Wow head boy and girl and we forgot to ask for the password" James said

"Well I feel like an idiot" I said he nodded. The portrait opened and Sirius came out holding a piece of paper.

"Password is Shindig" he said heading back inside with James and me following him.

"All right… so Lily…" Sirius said snaking an arm around my waist. I glanced at the other three Marauders who all watched with mild interest.

"I said maybe…" I reminded him.

"Maybe is more likely a yes then a no" he pouted.

"Well… I mean… what about your friends?" I asked

"They can sleep down here, they've done it before. Or we can go somewhere else" he said. I kissed him

"Sorry… another night" I said he pulled me close resting his forehead on mine.

"You're so gorgeous even when you're shooting me down" he said. I smiled and kissed him softly.

"Good night Sirius" I said

"Man… night Lily" he sighed.

"Good night guys" I said

"Night" the Marauders said and I climbed the stairs to the girls dormitories. I sighed and located my bed with my trunk sitting beside it. I flopped down on that bed deciding I'd unpack tomorrow. The door opened and my fellow Gryffindor seventh years slowly entered.

"Oh hey Lily" Alice Mason said with a small smile.

There were five other girls in my dorm. I'd been sharing with them since first year but we'd never really been friends. Sure we were polite but it was just a 'how are you?' every so often.

"Hey" I said

"Me and some of the girls are going to get drunk in the boys dormitory… want to come?" Alice asked

"We have classes tomorrow"

"Lily today's Friday" Veronica Sanders said.

"So tomorrow would be Saturday?"

"Yep so it's the perfect opportunity… and you can't use homework as an excuse" Alice said smiling.

"Sorry I'll pass… Sirius will just try to jump me" I muttered.

"Ok well come if you feel like it" Veronica said and led the way out of the room Judy Riley the last girl to leave gave me a small smile before closing the door behind her.

I frowned in thought. If the girls would be occupying the boys I could sneak out and go flying. God how I missed it. I quickly grabbed a jacket and quietly left the dormitory. I hurried across the empty common room and out into the corridor. Sure I wouldn't get to ride Tash's new Star Light but right now anything was better then nothing.

I know it's a bit ridiculous but if any one saw me. Well it'd be weird, smart girls shouldn't know how to fly; flying is something you can't learn through a book. Practical things aren't for smart girls. Besides I knew I was good and if I practised in broad daylight Potter would get me on his team faster then you could say 'fluke'.

I walked down the empty corridors carefully, making sure there wasn't any one around before I walked down a corridor. I hurried down several flights of stairs and through the entrance door slipping out the large oak doors quietly.

The grounds were beautiful during the day but at night gave them something extra. But there was also the large shadows the Forbidden Forest created which didn't ease my fearful sense.

I hurried across the grounds to the Qudditch stadium and unlocking the broom shed with my wand I grabbed one of the spare school brooms to use. I kicked off from the ground right in front of the broom shed. The wind sweeping through my hair immediately calmed me. This was my stress relief, you know the sex thing didn't hurt but this is always my first choice.

I flew for almost an hour and then decided as I hadn't yet been spotted I should quit while ahead. I landed gracefully and then put the broom back in the shed and locked it with my wand. I then hurriedly snuck across the grounds back up to the school. I made my way very carefully back up stairs taking every short cut I knew to get there faster.

I gave the fat lady the password, she yelled at me for waking her but let me pass none the less. I walked back into the common room and quickly hurried toward the girls dormitories.

"Where were you?"

I spun around and saw Remus sitting on the couch. How had I not noticed him when I walked in?

He was leaning over the back so I could only see his head and one of his arms.

"No where" I said calmly.

"What were you doing?" Sirius asked sitting up I jumped in surprise.

"Not you" I retorted "what are you doing on the couch with Remus?"

"Well there's a party in the dorms and I knew you'd prefer it if I were with Moony here then being nearly raped by a drunk girl"

"That's considerate of you. Well good night"

"I don't get a reward?"

"So you didn't do it out of the goodness of your heart?" I asked he stared at me.

"Not tonight but tomorrow… maybe…?" I said and climbed the stairs.

"You're killing me Lily" he said I blew him a kiss and continued to climb.

I walked upstairs and found two of my doormats standing outside the bathroom door.

"Judy are you ok?" Veronica asked.

"What's up?" I asked

"Judy's been sick so we were just checking on her" Alana Hughes said and knocked on the door.

"Jude?" Alana called. There was no response.

"How long has she been in there?" I asked

"A while…" Veronica said worriedly.

"Judy? We'll barge in if you don't answer in five seconds" I called. Alana and Veronica watched me then stared at the door.

"How long is a while?" I asked

"Well she left the party about an hour ago…" Veronica muttered.

"What's that?" Alana asked and we all looked down.

"Water…" I said

"Do you think the toilet blocked?" Alana asked.

"No" Veronica squeaked. Alana and I stared at her

"Back" I said and the girls stood back. I pulled out my wand and the door blew off its hinges landing nicely on the bathroom floor.

"Judy?" I asked walking past the row of sinks and past the shower block. I was wading through ankle deep water, Veronica and Alana right behind me.

"Jude?" Alana asked quietly. We headed toward where the only bath was. I stopped and Veronica walked right into me.

"Oh my God" she whispered.

I ran over to the bathtub and pulled the still fully clothed Judy out of it.

"Not breathing" I said laying her out on the floor.

"Alana! Get help" I said Alana quickly fled from the room while Veronica knelt down beside me.

"Do you know CPR?" I asked her she nodded and immediately began to press on Judy's chest evenly.

"How much did she have?" I asked

"A lot… she was upset, Kevin or Kyle whatever. He dumped her and she wanted to forget him" Veronica said as she pressed down on Judy's chest. I held Judy's limp wrist I could feel a pulse so she wasn't dead. A few moments passed in silence and after three goes Judy began to cough.

"Side" I said and we turned poor Judy to her side as she spat out mouthfuls of water.

She was still once more breathing deeply

"Unconscious?" Veronica asked

"Looks that way" I said

"Should we move her?" I shook my head

"Wake her?"

"Judy?" I asked and gently tapped her cheek.

"Judy?" Veronica asked. She remained impassive just breathing deeply.

"Girls" Madame Andrews said. Veronica and I quickly moved away to let the nurse do her work.

I led Veronica out of the room and downstairs to where Alana was waiting with apparently the rest of Gryffindor house.

"What happened?" Sirius asked walking over to us.

"It's Judy" Veronica said and threw her arms around him. Sirius looked at her quite shocked but patted her back supportively.

We all watched as Madame Andrews assisted by two other nurses carried the still unconscious Judy past us.

"It's good to be back huh?" Sirius muttered.

It sure was…

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Well another chapter for you. I've no idea what I was thinking but I think it's not half bad. But of course what I think doesn't really matter so leave _your_ thoughts, Penny.

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	5. Sorry To Blow Your Mind

Chapter Five: Sorry To Blow Your Mind

It was the weekend and I was at school with no homework to do. Whispers ran up and down the hallway of poor Judy Riley's attempted suicide. Her friend Monica Barca had been the only one in allowed in to see her. She'd stopped trying to tell everyone it was an accident. I had no reason to doubt that so I believed her, not that she cared what people thought. It'd only been a day but she was fed up and quite over it.

"Lily, they're having Quidditch tryouts today" Tash said. I looked up from my novel.

We were sitting in the library as usual and I'd just been getting into my book when Tash interrupted.

"What?" I asked

"Please go" Claire said

"Why?" I asked turning to her

"She'll keep nagging" Claire muttered and went back to her own book.

Monica Barca walked past and all the whispers that had surrounded us immediately stopped.

"I'm just getting a book all right. Don't worry I'll make sure she can't slit her wrists with the pages" Monica snapped grabbing a random book from the shelf and rubbing it over her wrist.

"Oh the pages are just blunt enough" she said and stalked over to the librarian.

"Poor girl" Claire said as we watched her leave.

"I really do think it was an accident. Judy just doesn't seem the type. Now that Alice, she seems more likely" Tash said I raised my eyebrows.

"It's the hair in the face, if she'd tie it back every so often…" Tash muttered. "Look forget it. Go try out for Quidditch"

"Why is he even holding try outs this early?" I muttered.

"Uh because the Bigonville Bombers captain Mark Charlson has a little brother who just transferred into Slytherin house. He's in third year and is an exceptionally good chaser" Tash said.

"Your mind is glorious sometimes" I muttered.

"Come on if he joins he's going to kick Gryffindor out of the water. Do you not care for your house? Where is your team spirit?"

"Shouldn't you be helping _your_ house captain win?" I asked

"What? No Ravenclaw is doomed but really Lily I'd hate for Gryffindor to break that winning streak of an impressive eleven years…" Tash said.

"No" I said and looked back at my book.

"Just… Lily I really want to know if you're good enough to make the team. Knock them back if you want"

"No" I said "ask me again and I'll never fly again"

"She's not serious right?" Tash asked looking at Claire.

"I am" Sirius said I yelped in surprise and turned to glare at him.

"How are you ladies this fine morning?" he asked.

"Great" Claire and Tash said and both stood up.

"AH! Sit!" Sirius ordered the two girls sat down.

"Why do you leave every time a Marauder is near?" Sirius asked

"Hmm… gee I wonder?" Tash asked thoughtfully.

"I have to go talk to Flitwick about the holiday homework, Tash?" Claire said they both stood up.

"See you later Lily" they said and walked out of the library.

"I'm sorry your friends hate me"

"Don't worry about it. They don't say anything about it so we have a mutual understanding" I said with a shrug. "So what brings you to the library? I thought you were allergic to knowledge"

"You forgot our date"

"Today's Saturday isn't it?" I asked he nodded

"You didn't mean next Saturday did you?" I asked he shook his head.

"Sorry… tonight?"

"It is night, that's why I'm here" he said. I glanced up

"Oh… wow, time flies when you're bored out of your mind. I'm actually wishing for homework"

"You always are my sexy nerd" he said kissing my forehead. I smiled and stood up, he followed eagerly.

"I'm sorry… I just completely forgot" I said as we walked down the hallway.

"That's all right but now you owe me" he said

"I think I know what you're thinking" I said he smiled nodding slowly.

"Ok I'll see you in about two hours?" I said he stared at me wide eyed.

"I have to have dinner first"

"You don't want dinner trust me" he said kissing me softly.

"Yes I do…" I said "two hours"

"What?" he asked then sighed dramatically "there had better be some sexy lingerie"

"No… but there might be a very naughty girl" I said

"One hour?" he begged

"Two" I said kissing his neck. He groaned

"Fine two but she better be damn naughty" he said I smiled and watched him run off. I headed off downstairs to eat some dinner.

I sat next to Veronica and Alice who both smiled softly.

"I notice an absence of Marauders" Alice said. I glanced around.

"No, Pettigrew never misses a meal. There he is" Veronica said and pointed to Peter sitting down the end.

"Potter is probably still trying to pick out his team" Veronica continued.

"Amazing how none of his team seems to want to eat" I said

"Oh they do, I heard he has a super strict training schedule this year" Alice said

"It's the Charlson kid isn't it?" I asked Alice nodded.

"Well you gotta admire determination and of course the favours sport is doing to his body" Veronica muttered.

I finished dinner leaving the girls to their boy talk and headed upstairs.

"Oh Lily" Tash said running over to me.

"Hey" I said

"Sorry… about. Anyway… did you try out?"

"No" I said she pouted at me.

"Lily"

"Are you going to follow me to my common room?" I asked

"Until you tell me you will go beg James Potter to let you try out" Tash said.

"Not a chance"

"But the team isn't that bad… I think it'd earn you a couple extra popularity points," she muttered.

"I don't want extra popularity points, besides if I made the team I'd have my studies and head girl duty as well as practises to juggle. I can barely manage two how can I add training to that?"

"James does it pretty well"

"Yeah but he barely does anything as head boy and I haven't seen him studying in all the years I've known him" I said.

"Give it back"

Tash and I looked down the hallway to where a fourth year boy was torturing some poor second year. Tash and I glanced at each other and headed over.

The boy was holding what appeared to be a ring of some sort.

"Please… my grandmother… please" the girl begged.

"Should we yell at him?" Tash asked.

"Oi!" James Potter shouted.

"No need" I muttered.

We all turned to look at James standing with his Quidditch team. They had on their Quidditch robes and looked as though they'd just come from an exhausting training session.

"You already made the new players practise?" I asked then frowned "Good God Potter did they miss dinner because of _practice_?" James shushed me with a wave his hand.

"You kid what are you doing?" James asked

"None of your business. Ok? Back off" the boy replied rudely.

"Yeah well as head boy I make it my business ok?" James asked.

"Just butt out," the boy said then looked at the girl who looked on the verge of tears.

"Just give it back"

"No! I don't want to" he said.

"I really think you should give it back" James said. Tash and I looked at him; the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team had their wands pointed at the boy.

"You can't attack a student when your head boy Potter" I snapped.

"Fine _head girl _what do you propose we do?" James asked.

"Give me the ring," I said to the boy sternly. He smirked

"Get it" he said and flung it over the staircase. We were seven stories up; there could be no telling where the ring would go or if it would survive such a fall.

"Broom" I shouted. Everyone with his or her own broom threw it. I caught one of them then swan dived over the railing.

"LILY!" Tash screamed

"Evans!" James shouted. I free fell slowly picking up speed, not bothering to use the broom till I had to, it'd slow me down any way. I could see the ring clear as day. I'd always had good eyes but I didn't realise they were that good. I tried to reach for the ring but as it was a lot lighter then I was it fell quicker. The ground was slowly closing in, with a quick roll in the air, not as easy as it'd seem by the way, I grabbed the ring then pulled the broom so it would begin to fly rather then fall with me.

I stopped abruptly, about eight feet above the ground. I let out a sigh of relief and then slipped the ring in my pocket and climbed onto the broom. I steered my back up to the seventh floor. I sat sideways, with my legs both over the left side of the broom and smiled at the boy who'd thrown the ring.

"Kieran you are off the team" James said dully.

"Figured" Kieran said staring at me. I glanced at everyone else they all looked really impressed or really horrified. Ok only Tash and the snotty boy did but everyone else was impressed.

"Here you go sweetheart," I said handing the ring back to the little girl.

"Thank you" she said slipping it on her finger.

"Potter I believe you shall escort our thief here down to his head of house?" I asked.

"No way. Rachel, you take him please. I have to go tell McGonagall about our new seeker" James said. I let the broom drop a couple feet in the air.

"Lily!" Tash cried. They looked over the ledge at me as I flew back up to eye level.

I flew over the railing and landed in front of Tash, I gave her a nod and she immediately understood. I turned on my heel and then stepped over the brooms the team had thrown at me before heading toward the common room.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait" James said jumping over the brooms with ease. I stared at him.

"Just ten minutes of your time"

"I'm not going on your stupid team," I said, the team gasped.

"I have no interest in the game. I like to fly, that's it. And not for competition" I added and went to turn around but James grabbed my shoulders.

I sighed and looked at Tash over his shoulder.

She grabbed the snotty boy and the girl with the ring then nodded to Rachel. They all walked off down the stairs leaving me with James and the rest of his team.

James stared at me intently.

"Please Lily… just a little chat. Then you can decide," he said

"I think this is yours," I said holding up the broom I still had clutched in my hand. He took it from me and stared down at it. I looked at him, wondering what he was going to say. When he said nothing I assumed he was just being sulky about me refusing his offers. I smiled and realised he must have accepted this, I turned too walked away but James put the broom over me and used it to pull me to him.

"You can't let anything go can you Potter?" I asked

"I'm determined" he said in my ear.

"I could get so mad right now," I snapped.

"But you won't?" he asked I took a few deep breathes and shook my head.

"Sweet" he said, "now can we talk?"

"I don't really have a choice," I said glancing down at the broom he was holding at my waist holding me there.

"Lovely. So… how's life?"

I groaned and glared at the wall.

"What will it take to get you on my team?" he asked

"There's nothing in the world you can offer me" I said.

"No… I can't your right…" he said and let me go. I frowned at him; he just gave me a small smile then went to talk to his team.

I walked off to the common room and went up stairs to my room. After reading for an hour our so I knew Sirius would send up some poor girl to come get me so I went down into the common room.

I found Sirius sitting on the couch next to James.

"Hi" I said sitting down on James' lap. Sirius raised his eyebrows at me.

"I think you missed sweetheart" he said

"No" I said smiling at James who gave me a small smile and continued to read his book holding it so I was not in his way.

"I think you owe me something?" Sirius said I put a finger to my lips and frowned.

"Hmm? I can't recall" I said. He smiled and leapt on me kissing me softly. James coughed loudly.

"What?" Sirius asked looking up at him.

"Can you get off?" James asked

"I will" Sirius said. The Marauders groaned in disgust and Sirius smirked looking down at me. He stood up and offered his hand.

"I'm actually quite comfortable here. You have comfy legs" I said to James who smiled and continued to read his book. Sirius sighed taking my hand and pulling me up then actually picked me up.

"He's my bitch" I said making Remus laugh. Sirius carried me upstairs and deposited me on the bed then climbed on top of me.

"First things first" he said and began to untie my hair.

"Never ever tie your hair back" he said brushing it out with his fingers I frowned at him and went to make a comment but he began to kiss me. Wasting no time he quickly pulled off my shirt kissing me again.

"You look so sexy right now" he murmured as he kissed down my chest. He rolled us over so that I was on top of him. I was straddling his hips my hands resting on my thighs as I looked down at him curiously he just smiled at me.

"Learn by doing" he said I stared down at him worriedly.

"Learn by doing" he assured me and kissed me softly. He pulled his shirt off and stared up at me.

"Do something" he whispered

"Right" I said nodding he smiled. I leant down my hair fell off my shoulders and kissed him. I began to timidly kiss down his chest as he fiddled with my bra strap.

"Problem" he muttered I sat up and he followed.

"Oh I don't have sexy enough bras so my sister gave me some of hers" I explained

"Well purple definitely suits you" he said still trying to undo it. "You'd look a lot better without it on"

"It's a front clasp" I said and laughed as he tried to undo it with is teeth.

"Success" he said with a smile and proceeded to remove it. He lay back down pulling me with him. I began to kiss his neck focusing my attention there as his hands roamed my back and down to my butt. He sat up forcing me to as well and kissed his way down to my breasts. I began to fiddle with his belt buckle and he moved his hands from my butt to the front of my jeans undoing my belt quickly and spanking me with it making me whimper in surprise.

"Oh there is no sexier sound" he moaned I kissed his shoulder while my hands softly explored his chest.

"Holy crap!" he cried I pulled back staring at him but he was staring over my shoulder. I glanced and screamed turning back to Sirius.

"PRONGS!" Sirius shouted

"Sorry but I need to talk to Lily"

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked as Sirius held me close to him so James couldn't see anything.

"Long enough to know that you look fantastic in blue" he said I could feel my face burning with shame.

"I'm a little busy right now James" I squeaked staring at Sirius who was staring at James. I sighed

"You've got two minutes" I said Sirius smiled and hugged me close to him.

"I need to talk to you alone" he said I groaned.

"Sirius…" I said he gave James the darkest look before gently lifting me off him and getting on the floor to find my bra and shirt. He held up my blue bra and I quickly snatched it off him and put it on as he did my jeans up for me. Feeling me up every way he could as he did so.

"Shirt?" I asked glancing around in the mess that covered the dormitory floors. There were clothes, magazines, old lolly wrappers… just everywhere.

He shrugged

"He's a gentleman he won't stare" he said getting up off the bed grabbing his own shirt "I'll be in the common room" he kissed me quickly before walking out the door. I sighed and stood up turning to face James.

"I'd never voluntarily come in here while Sirius was with a girl"

"Just spit it out Potter!" I snapped feeling ashamed that anyone, even if it was just James, had seen me like that.

"Now don't shoot the messenger"

"If you don't start talking I won't need a freaking gun now out with it!"

I really shouldn't be getting mad at him but right now I couldn't care less.

"Monica Barca just let slip that Judy Riley is pregnant" he said I stared at him.

"That's great but also pretty crappy poor Judy, her last year too" I muttered he stared at me,

"What do you want me to say Potter? Neither of those girls are really my friends come back and find me when Claire gets knocked up" I said going to get Sirius but James grabbed my arm.

"Monica said the father of Judy's baby… was Sirius"

I stared at him

"Well… I… it…" I stopped completely unsure how I felt about this.

"She's four months along"

"But Sirius and I have been dating for six" I said he looked at me.

"Oh" I said bending down and picking up a random shirt off the floor.

Every thing in me was screaming why? Why did he do it? Why did it go wrong? Why hadn't I noticed? Why now? Why me? Why hadn't I done something?

_**Why wasn't I upset about it?**_

James was staring at me as I screamed at myself. Why wasn't I upset? I looked and him and burst into tears.

"Oh Lily… sorry" he said I shook my head and began to sob.

"Do you want to be alone?" he asked I shook my head and sobbed harder, I was hiccoughing and practically hysterical.

"Why aren't I upset?" I coughed. James stared at me.

"Why aren't I upset?" I asked

"I should feel awful, my heart should be breaking inside" I said taking his hand and holding it to my chest.

"But it beats fine, unaffected… normally. Tell me why I'm not upset!" I pleaded.

"Lily its ok…"

"No! There's something wrong… I'm not right!" I said gripping his hand tightly. I let go and quickly wiped my tears away staring at the ground.

"I should be furious right? And go scream at Monica and Judy… shouldn't I? Right that's what a girlfriend would do yes?" I asked looking at him.

"Lily… I…" he stopped

"Uh… if you could… excuse me for…" I trailed off and realised I had a shirt in my hand. I put it on thankful it seemed clean and then brushed past him as I headed for the door.

"Lily…" James said

"Just…" I sighed and left heading down the stairs and crashing into Monica Barca.

"Hey Lily" she said brightly. Her smiled slipped from her face as she stared at me, I obviously looked upset.

"What's up? Oh you heard about Judy… yeah. It's so awful… when she told him… just gave her some money and told her to 'take care of it' I mean what a jerk. You did the right thing in dumping him" Monica said I just nodded

"I need to be alone now. I'm sure you get it" I muttered and walked upstairs to the girl's dormitories.

I flopped down on my bed. Was I upset Sirius knocked up another girl while we were dating? Or was I upset he hadn't told me?

No… I was upset because I wasn't upset.

It'd been a long time since I'd cried myself to sleep but tonight I did.

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I was so angry that I couldn't work out how I felt I was snapping at everyone. I'd been quite secluded on Sunday just lazing in my dormitory yelling at my dorm mates but now it was Monday and I'd have to attend classes and see him.

"Lily!" he called. I ignored him and sat down at the Gryffindor table in between Veronica and Alice.

"We got your back Lily" Veronica said.

"Thanks guys…" I muttered.

It's weird how a hatred of men can bring women together. I noticed that as Professor McGonagall handed out the time tables she seemed to be on my side as well offering a sympathetic smile and being rather short with Sirius. Though that might also be because he has this knack for breaking rules and McGonagall didn't like that.

"Lily" Sirius said sitting opposite me.

"Black!" Veronica warned aiming her wand at him. She was not afraid to stun him and suffer the consequence of a detention. I'd seen her do it to heaps of the girl's ex-boyfriends.

"Let me explain" he pleaded

"Five seconds. Go" I said

"I've never slept with Judy" he said.

"That's your defence? I am ashamed of you, you're a Marauder surely you can think of more convincing lies" I said standing up and grabbing my books

"Lily please"

"Don't you dare follow me!" I said running from the great hall and crashing right into Severus Snape.

"Sorry" I muttered

"Its fine" he said picking up the books I'd dropped.

"Hey I'm sorry about Black" he said

"No your not" I said

"Lily" Sirius said

"For fucks sake. Stop it" I pleaded turning around.

"Your not letting me explain"

"I did too" I cried

"But you didn't believe me"

"There's no law that says I must believe every word out of your mouth. And considering your track record I'd say it's most definitely a benefit"

"Lily you can go ask Judy I never slept with_ that_ girl"

"_That _girl? But there are other ones?"

"Lily you know that. Ok I'm a horrible man and I do sometimes take advantage of women but not you… never ever you. You're a one in a million girl-"

"Stop it" I said

"I'm here if you need anything" Serverus whispered. Sirius shot him a dark look.

"Lily… you have to believe me… isn't there any way I can make this up to you?" he asked.

"Yeah… stay the fuck away from me!" I screamed. And quickly ran up the stairs knocking a group of fifth years out of the way as I bolted upstairs to the library to return my books before heading up to the dormitories to grab my text books for today.

I didn't care about being late for class I had one quick stop to make first.

I quietly pulled open the door and hurried along between the rows of white beds ignoring the chiming bell signalling the start of class. I stopped in front of the bed containing the only patient I recognised.

"Hey Lily" Judy said brightly patting the bed. I sat on it and she beamed.

"Glad you dropped by. Thanks for saving my life by the way. I've been meaning to get you Veronica and Alana some chocolates but they're not letting me leave" she said with a small smile.

"How are you feeling?" I asked

"Better. I know what you're thinking; no I didn't try to kill myself it was an accident"

"I have class so I'm going to cut right to the chase" I said she nodded smiling brightly.

"Are you carrying Sirius's baby?" I asked she frowned at me then laughed.

"What? No!" she cried I stared at her

"Look sorry to blow your mind Lily but I'm a lesbian" she said I stared at her she nodded.

"Kendra Copper is my girlfriend" she said

"Wow… I… well it is the seventies" I muttered she nodded

"Who told you I was pregnant?" she asked frowning at me.

"Monica"

"Ah of course. Monica has been in love with Sirius before she even met him"

"Really?" I asked

"Lily your relationship is safe. I'm not carrying anyone's love child just sporting a bump on the nogging that's all" she said with a small smile.

"I'll talk to Monica if you want" she said I looked at my hands.

"Ah you already fought with him about it?"

"Not exactly… I did tell him to stay the fuck away from me though" I muttered

"It's fixable…" she assured me

"Well I have class… you get better… I miss you" I said she raised her eyebrows.

"Come on Judy you're the nicest girl in the dorm don't know what I'd do without you"

"Suffer endlessly no doubt" she said I smiled.

"See you later Lily" she said I waved and then quickly left before the evil Madame O'Malley could catch me sneaking into her ward.

I sighed and hurried upstairs to the Transfiguration room. I hurried inside

"You're late Miss Evans" Professor McGonagall said. "Ten points from Gryffindor"

I couldn't even pretend to care. I sighed and took my usual place next to Sirius. To say everyone was shocked is an understatement. Even Sirius himself.

"Uh… want to fill me in on this new batch of crazy?" he asked

"I shouldn't have judged you without checking the facts first" I said and kissed him softly.

"No you shouldn't have" he said

"Don't push it" I said he smiled wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.

"I'm trying to take notes"

"So is everyone else thank you!" McGonagall snapped Sirius and I looked at her.

"Sorry" I muttered

"I'm not" Sirius said McGonagall just rolled her eyes and continued to write notes on the board.

I sat paying as much attention as I could as Sirius ran his hands on my thigh I elbowed him more then once through out the lesson but that didn't stop him much. As soon as the bell rang he pulled me up quickly gathering our books and dragged me out of the classroom as McGonagall shouted after us about a thousand word essay due by the end of the week.

"Please tell me you have a free this period" Sirius begged.

"I do but I was going to use it to do McGonagall's essay" I said he kissed me.

"Sorry what?" he asked pressing me against the wall and putting an arm over my head so he could lean over me.

"McGonagall's essay" I repeated clearly.

"No, no, no give me the right answer or I'll have to pound it into you" he said I raised my eyebrows but then realised what he meant.

"Oh… you want to… uh well… do you have a free right now?" I asked he hesitated

"Sirius" I scolded. "You can't play hooky on your first day of seventh year"

"I've got…" he checked his watch "five minutes till my next class"

"So?" I asked he picked me up and pulled me into a broom cupboard.

"I don't know Sirius" I muttered he just ginned and gave me a reassuring kiss on the lips before moving down to bite at my neck. I sighed and surrendered to his touches. He lifted me up pressing me against the wall using one hand to hold me up while the other untucked my shirt and quickly slipped underneath. Not bothering to even remove any of the outer clothing he undid his pants and rather then take off my underwear simply moved it to the side muttering a quick contraceptive charm before ploughing into me. There was no pain this time only pleasure. He kissed me silencing my moans

"No sound proof in here" he whispered kissing me again as he thrust in deeper and I angled my hips to grant him more access. It was only a few moments before we came.

He kissed me softly as he pulled out and let me slide down the wall.

We both began to quickly straighten our uniforms I gave him a small smile before heading for the door.

"Wait" he said pulling me back and tucking my shirt into my skirt for me. He kissed me softly and I moaned he pulled back looking intrigued.

"You're turning me into an addict" I said "Soon _I'll _be begging _you_ for sex"

"Don't make it sound so crazy. I have to go, you enjoy your free" he said kissing me quickly before leading me out of the broom cupboard and kissing me again before hurrying off down the hallway. I spun around and screamed at James Potter who was standing right behind me.

"Don't follow me around" I said

"I didn't I was walking down the hallway and you burst out of a broom cupboard" he said

"Do you have class?" I asked

"Study… just came from the common room, figured I'd get a start on that stupid essay"

"How very Remus of you. Hey listen you got a few minutes?" I asked

"For you Lily dear always" he said smiling.

"Why did _you_ tell me about Judy?" I asked him he frowned.

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah it does. Especially seeing as Monica was lying about it"

"So that's why you came and sat with him"

"You didn't know if she was lying or not?" I asked actually quite amazed.

"Well no-"

"Sirius is your best friend and you didn't bother to check that a vicious rumour that would no doubt affect the rest of his life was the truth?" I asked him.

"Lily-"

"Did you only tell me in the hopes it'd get us to breakup so you could make your move?" I asked

"No! Lily no. I don't care about you anymore ok" he said I frowned at him.

"I thought we could move past this, you know be friends but obviously somewhere in your deluded mind you think that everyone in the world is in love with you. Their not I can name ten people off the top of my head that hate your guts" he said I glared at him.

"Look if you must know I think your fucking up Sirius all right. I don't like your relationship, he doesn't deserve you and you certainly don't deserve him" he said going to walk off but I ran in front of him.

"What?"

"Lily think about it. The longest relationship Sirius has ever been in is with you. Do you even know why that is? Do you know anything about him? Aside from his favourite colour, comic book character, Quidditch player and sexual position. I mean the real things, his middle name? Why he doesn't live with his parents? My god Lily do you even know his birthday?"

"August…" I trailed off

"Yeah that's what I thought" he said and walked off.

I glared at the ceiling then turned to stare at his retreating back.

I had been questioning my relationship since Saturday but stupid James and his brutal honesty had forced me take a look at my relationship. A look I'd long avoided giving and I sighed when I realised I didn't really like what I saw. I hate it when that happens.

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Another chapter for you guys. Not much to say about it really. Stuck in a rut writing wise so I thought I'd update this one, I've had this chapter sitting for a bit but was a little more focused on my other stories, well tell me your thoughts leave a review, Penny

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	6. O Captain My Captain

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Just a quick hey, long time no… write…? Yeah that makes sense. I haven't updated this for a while and felt sudden inspired to write so here it is. Quick thanks to paleandfreckly and Cheynee for the reviews, Penny

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Chapter Six: O Captain My Captain

I hadn't been sleeping well at all thanks to James. I'd been thinking a lot about what he said. It was now Friday and I'd been avoiding all Marauders the whole week. Sirius had obviously noticed but I just told him it was that time of the month and he backed right away.

I was angry I'd let stupid James Potter get to me. Seven years and I hadn't so much as battered an eyelash at his words and now I was constantly hiding in a broom cupboard to cry my heart out before my classes.

I rolled over in my bed and screamed at the time. I had five minutes to get dressed and eat breakfast before class. I grabbed my bag and quickly jumped into my uniform hurrying down the stairs. I ran down to the great hall shoving a piece of toast in my mouth before running off down to the dungeon for potions.

"Late Miss Evans" Professor Slughorn said "looks like your date won't be cancelled after all Mr Black as Miss Evans will be joining you in detention"

I looked over at Sirius who was sporting a bleeding eyebrow I raised my eyebrows at him and he just smiled. I sat down next to him

"You should see the other guy" he said I glanced around and saw Serverus holding a hand up to his bleeding nose.

I just shook my head and pulled out my books. A theory lesson, my favourite kind as I could use it to sleep and borrow Remus' notes later. I leant my head on the desk using my hair for a pillow. It was the only time I'd ever had my hair out for class; I just had no time to tie it this morning. I didn't mind though because I used my fringe to hide my eyes so it looked like I was paying attention, sort of. I felt someone tugging on my hair and glanced over to see Sirius staring at me.

"Class is over" he said I sat up straight and quickly pushed my hair off my face. I hated it; I always had my fringe pinned back and the rest of it tied tightly behind so it was quite annoying that it was in my face now. I should never have let my friends talk me into cutting it…

"Right…" I said standing up and grabbing my books. Time for the ten minutes of crying in a cupboard before Charms.

"Lily…" Sirius started

"I'll see you later" I said quickly kissing his cheek before hurrying out of the room with the rest of the class.

I headed upstairs for the broom cupboard I always used when I was upset. I remember the first time I came here after my first boyfriend dumped me, we only went out for a few weeks but I was still crushed. Now whenever I was upset I usually came to this one.

"Lily" I quickly wiped my eyes, my pity party would have to wait. I turned around and saw Sirius standing behind me with a very miserable looking James.

"Something is wrong with you" Sirius said to me "and I think you're the reason" James rolled his eyes.

"He's just pissy I won't join his stupid team" I lied James gave me a dark look.

"Lily don't lie to me you always get this little dimple when you lie" Sirius said poking my cheek.

"I'm not lying" I said

"See there it is" Sirius said I looked at James pleading for his help but he said nothing.

"Look fine you're not going to be honest with me? Well my friend will. Prongsie…" Sirius said turning to James who stared back at him."What is going on?"

"I can assure you right now we're not together so there's no need to freak out about that" James said.

"Ok cool" Sirius said and walked off.

"Why lie?" James asked

"What? Tell him I'm avoiding him because his stupid best friend made me take a good hard look at my relationship and realise I was completely miserable" I said James stared at me.

"Yeah! And if I dump him and tell him _why_ he's going to know it's your fault! So you should be thankful that I am lying" I said.

"So what, you're gonna wait till he dumps you?"

"He's Sirius Black. How long can it fucking take?" I asked then gave him a smile before I walked off to grab my books for Charms.

I sighed as I walked into the Charms classroom. Sirius was in this class too… I frowned in thought, how many of my classes was Sirius not in? Probably one and that was when I had my study period. I sighed and walked into Charms glad I was with my good friends Claire and Tash.

Claire sat next to me as Tash took the row in front sitting next to the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain Sean O'Dell.

"Not sitting with your boyfriend?" Claire asked frowning at me.

"No, I thought I'd hang with you guys"

"Spill it" Tash ordered.

"There's nothing wrong. Everything is peachy keen" I said nodding. I sat through class but just ended up sleeping vowing to copy some of Claire or Tash's notes. I was poked awake by Claire.

"What is up with you lately?" she asked I just shook my head in reply and followed her down to the great hall for lunch.

"Lily… is he… you know being a jerk? Because I have no hesitation in kicking his butt" Tash said

"Is it because we leave every time one of them is near?" Claire asked Tash looked alarmed and stared at me.

"No. It's not that, you guys can hate anyone you want" I said

"Good because Sirius is a huge-"

"I don't need to know that you hate them" I interrupted Tash fell silent and looked at Claire.

"Lily we're your friends. We know when you're lying you get this little dimple" Claire said pointing it out I stared at her.

"I'm fine guys really" I assured them they gave me sceptical looks but left it at that and headed over to the Ravenclaw table to eat their lunch. I walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Judy who was talking animatedly with Alana.

"Well howdy Lily" Judy said presenting me with a chocolate frog I smiled.

"Just a little thank you for pulling me out of the tub" she said and hugged me.

"Got a spare hair tie?" I asked I'd been dying to tie my hair up all day and hopefully I'd get to. If I could I'd chop it all off I would but I look awful with short hair. So I just settled for tying it back.

Judy held up a hair tie which I took gratefully.

"Thanks so much" I said beginning to finger-comb my hair into a pony tail when I felt a pair of hands on my own.

"What did I say?" Sirius whispered. I smiled

"Here take my seat" Judy offered "I have to find Veronica anyways… Alana?" Alana nodded and followed Judy out of the great gall.

"Your avoiding me aren't you?" Sirius asked as he sat down beside me.

"No I'm not, I'm just busy"

"Lily we haven't so much as made out in the past five days…" I kissed him softly and gave him a smile

"Not all relationships have to be about sex" I said

"But they have to have conversations; you've barely spoken to me. Did I do something? Are we going to fast?" he asked I shook my head

"Your fine, uh I have to go finish some homework" I said and with a small smile I left the great hall. I had no homework to finish but I hadn't cried in a broom cupboard all day and it was building up. I was about to throw a bloody tantrum if I didn't get this out of my system. I'd finally got the chance to tie my hair back as well and that made me feel good and crying for a bit helped. I always felt better after a good cry. So right now I was feeling a whole lot better, so much so I was actually able to enjoy dinner that night until of course I remembered my detention with Slughorn and the fact Sirius would be there.

I sighed and headed down to the dungeons after dinner. I hadn't even looked to see if Sirius was at dinner and offered to walk down with him together, this I realised was sure to backfire and prove his not so paranoid point.

I got down the potions classroom and knocked just as Sirius entered the hallway. He was walking with a strange look of determination on his face. He strode toward me not breaking eye contact even to blink.

"Miss Evans!" I turned "You've been standing there dumbstruck for a while" Slughorn said "what on earth is the matter with you?"

"Hey sir" Sirius said smiling at us

"Oh ok" Slughorn said and stepped aside to let us into the classroom.

"May I ask why Snape didn't get a detention?" Sirius asked

"Because he didn't punch himself" Slughorn said

"I hit him like twice and he hit me back" Sirius said pointing to the cut near his eyebrow.

"Yes but I don't like you" Slughorn said

"May I inquire as to why?" Sirius asked

"You may not. Your punishment is to scrape gum off from under the tables. And I know it's not very original but I'm tired and have papers to grade, hop to it" he said before walking over to his desk.

"No magic" he added Sirius sighed and grabbed two of the knives from the corner and handed me one. He lay down underneath a table and began to attack a bit of gum. I lay down underneath a table on the opposite side of the room attacking a piece of gum.

"If any of this gets in my hair-" Sirius started

"You'll do the world a favour and hack it off?" Slughorn interrupted.

"I think it's great. And I'm not the only one who thinks so" Sirius said

"It's weird having a boyfriend whose hair is longer then yours" I muttered he sat up hitting his head on a desk with a loud bang. I snorted and quickly covered it with a cough.

"Are you ok?" I asked moving out from under my desk so I could stare at him. He had a hand on his forehead and nodded.

"You don't like my hair?" he asked

"I love your hair" I said

"But…"

"Nothing… it looks sexy"

"It's too long"

"Yeah but so is mine"

"Don't you dare cut it" he ordered. I held my hands up in surrender.

"Can you do what I asked, sooner you finish the sooner you can leave" Slughorn said.

I lay back down under the desk and used the knife to get some of the gum unstuck; lying so that what I hacked off wouldn't land on me.

"Your using my good knives aren't you?" Slughorn asked

"Yes sir" Sirius said grinning Slughorn sighed and then stood up.

"I'll be back in an hour if your still here I'll let you go then, if you finish before you can leave" he muttered and left the room presumably to go to his office in an attempt to stop himself stabbing Sirius.

"So Lillian… why are you avoiding me?" Sirius asked a few moments after Slughorn shut the door.

"That's it" I said throwing the knife down and rolling out from under the desk. I stood up and simply climbed over the desks to him not bothering to go around them. I stopped on the desk he was lying beneath lying on top of it to gaze down at him.

"I'm not avoiding you. See here I am in front of you. That's not avoiding"

"You have been. Lily I'm an idiot I know but I would have to be blind to not see that something's bothering you…" he said climbing out from under the desk to sit on it beside me.

"No, no… it's… I just… promise you won't get mad…" I said he frowned at me and sat up a little straighter. "I spoke to James the other day…" I trailed off not really wanting to continue.

"I speak to him every day" Sirius said I smiled.

"He said some things… about us…" I muttered

"What?" Sirius looked alarmed, and angry. "I'll kill him" he went to stand up but I grabbed his arms.

"No, he was just being honest. He doesn't like me much…"

"What?" Sirius asked then laughed I stared at him and he stopped. "Why do you say that?"

"He said I wasn't good enough for you"

"Ok now I really will kill him"

"No, no… I… he just… I mean" I stopped and took a few breaths "He just pointed out that I don't really know you so well. We've been dating for like half a year… and I don't even know your middle name or what you want to do with your life"

"Lily that stuff doesn't matter"

"It does to me! I… am I really your longest relationship?"

"Yeah, but that's because your such a spectacular girl and I want to be around you all the time"

"And… there aren't any girls on the side?"

"Lily… I don't have girls on the side, in any of my relationships. Even the ones that last ten minutes"

"What kind of relationship lasts – oh" I said he smiled. "Look I want to know you. I'm clingy and annoying like that. This is a real relationship and in real relationships you know things"

"I don't understand how my middle name makes us closer"

"It doesn't! And it does! It's…" I stopped and sighed.

"What's brought all this on? I thought we were good… oh James" he said nodding. I sighed

"He just doesn't want me to hurt you"

"Lily you couldn't, nothing you could ever do would hurt me…"

"Even if I broke up with you?" I asked quietly. He looked at me taking some of my hair and pushing it back over my shoulder away from my face.

"Do you want to?"

"No. But stupid Potter kept making me think things. Sirius I like you a whole lot. Heck I'm going to say it I might even love you" I stopped to see the look on his face, impassive as it usually was when he was thinking about something serious. "But if I'm going to keep you around I need to know you"

"I don't open up well"

"I need to know you! I can't be with someone I don't know… I don't know how I got this far… I just… I guess I thought I did but… Potter… God I hate that guy sometimes"

"Me too…" Sirius muttered I took his hand.

"We should… probably… continued to de-gum the desks…" I said quietly.

"Lily… I can't feel" he said I frowned at him. "I mean that… my emotions… aren't like yours or… humans really… but if I could love someone… it'd be you. I like being around you and I like what you do to me, not like that though I do enjoy that immensely, but I like who I've become because of you"

I slid off the desk and smiled at him.

"Thanks…" I said quietly. He put his legs out in front of him so I couldn't get past. I looked at him and saw that familiar little glint in his eyes.

"I'm not going to have sex with you in the potions classroom. Every time I come in here after I'll just blush"

"That's your only problem? You don't care we might get caught?"

"Oh! Well of course that is a pressing issue" I said he grinned and shook his head

"Too late" he said using a leg to pull me closer to him. He ran his hand up my side while the other leg wrapped around me holding me where I was. He sat up a little straighter and kissed me softly.

"No… seriously" I said pulling away. He held a hand to my face positioning it between my head and neck so I couldn't pull to far.

"It's just making out I'm not going to fuck you on this desk" he said kissing my neck. "I'll fuck you on that one" I stared at him and saw him pointing to Slughorn's desk. I snorted then began to laugh shaking my head.

"Yes" he said nodding

"No way! I'm not having sex with you here! You're turning me into a very naughty girl already, I mean a broom cupboard I don't do that" I said he kissed my neck pulling me closer his hand softly massaging my hip through my skirt.

"Yeah you do, you do now and you will do it frequently" he said I giggled softly as he kissed me again. His kisses becoming slightly more demanding I kissed him back trying to match his demands as best I could. He took hold of my shoulders and steered me onto the desk making me lie down on it.

"No, it's probably all dirty" I said giggling as I went to sit up but he pushed me back down.

"You love a dirty table" he said slowly untying my tie.

"Slughorn will be back"

"We've got forty minutes, would you relax?"

"Fine, fine… God I can't believe I'm doing this, you're a bad influence on me" I said he just kissed me quickly.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he began to tie my hands together with the red and gold tie. "I'm about to do you in a public area and you have to make it kinkier"

"Want me to stop?" he asked with a wicked grin, I knew he didn't want to and strangely neither did I.

"No, but don't you dare tell anyone, not even your stupid friends, not even in code or 'once I dated' no! None of that" I said he smiled and kissed me. He finished trying my hands together then held them over my head. After a few minutes of intense making out he slowly began to undo the buttons of my shirt slowly pulling it from where it was tucked into my skirt.

"This is so wrong" I muttered as he kissed his way down my now bare stomach. I moaned and arched to his touch making him laugh. He pulled off his own tie and shirt and used my bound hands to pull me closer to him. I kissed his neck softly as his hands possessively roamed my body.

"What the hell are you two doing!?"

I screamed and Sirius rolled off me falling to the floor. I sat up quickly and stared at Professor Slughorn

"Sweet Merlin child!" he cried "straighten yourselves out then come out here!" he left to go stand in the hallway.

Sirius began to laugh and stood up pulling me to him.

"I can't believe that!" I hissed he smiled kissing my neck. I held up my hand making the other one follow and he laughed. I gave him a very dark look but he just continued to smile.

"I'm sure you've been caught like this many times, but I am a good girl. A very good girl! I shouldn't even know what I'm doing" I said as he began to untie my hands. Once they were free I quickly buttoned up my shirt as he put my tie on tying it for me.

"You're mad but I just keep thinking it's hilarious" Sirius said grinning.

"Oh it will be hilarious! I'll lose my badge" I snapped as he put on his own shirt.

"I doubt it Lils, just give McGonagall something she wants…" he said

"And what does she want?" I asked Sirius grinned.

"To win of course" he said I frowned at him and let him take my hand pulling me out of the classroom and into the hallway. Slughorn glared at us looking disgusted.

"I can't believe you two! I expected as much from you Mr Black but you Miss Evans…"

"I told you I can get any girl I want" Sirius said Slughorn shot him a dark look. Sirius slipped his arm around me I sighed, I knew he liked to challenge authority and doing the head girl in a classroom was a pretty big challenge.

"I'll let Minerva deal with you two! But if it were up to me you'd be in detention for the rest of the year" Slughorn said Sirius sniggered.

"Wouldn't that sort of defeat the point? I mean…" Sirius trailed off when I shot him a glare.

We followed Slughorn up the stairs Sirius still had his arm around me and didn't remove it, even when we were ushered into Professor McGonagall's office.

"Minerva"

"Horace" she replied looking up from her whatever she'd been doing. "Ah Mr Black I was wondering when you would grace us with your presence" she said.

Sirius and I frowned then looked around and saw the rest of the Marauders sitting in front of her desk.

"I was in detention so I'm not guilty of whatever they were doing" Sirius said

"Yes he was in detention being guilty of another crime!" Slughorn said "I caught these two fornicating on the desks in my classroom" Sirius was trying so hard not to laugh but he couldn't help it. He burst into hysterical laughter while I stood tensely by his side. I could feel his friends gaze on me as I stood feeling my face burning with embarrassment.

"Really?" McGonagall asked

"I shall let you discipline them" Slughorn said.

"Well thank you Horace you may go" McGonagall said Sirius went to follow Slughorn as he left.

"Do not even try and delude yourself into thinking I meant you" McGonagall said Sirius turned back and sighed.

"Notice the back of your shelf is looking a little bear Minnie" Sirius said casually.

"Yes well the Quidditch cup hasn't been one by Gryffindor for quite some time"

"Through no fault of my own" James said giving me a small smile. "Is that rope burn love?"

I stared down at my wrists and coughed putting them behind my back while Sirius smirked.

"Miss Evans I am surprised at you. You're not behaving like yourself. I'd have thought being head girl would have straightened you out a little" McGonagall said giving Sirius a distasteful look.

"I will have to write home to your parents"

"Crap" I said she raised her eyebrows at me. "Please professor, you can't do that. My dad he's… I just… he probably won't let me come back after Christmas or something… I… you can't write home. I'll take eighty detentions, anything!"

"Eighty detentions would mean removal of your position as head girl"

"Fine! I'll take them, just please don't write to my parents"

"You'll do anything? So long as I don't write home? Even give up head girl?" McGonagall asked. I hesitated but then nodded slowly. "Even join the Quidditch team?"

"NO!" I screamed. I stared at her in shock unaware I was now breathing unusually faster and harder. I stopped and slowly turned. This had James Potter written all over it! He sat casually in his chair with his eyebrow raised as he smirked arrogantly at me.

"Then I'm afraid I'll have to write to your parents" McGonagall said I almost collapsed on her desk.

"But Professor! I hate Quidditch, I hate it! I really hate it, like unbelievably!"

"So it'd be a fitting punishment then" McGonagall said

"But I'm not a good player" I protested.

"Yes you are. I've got ten witnesses who think you're spectacular" James said

"Well how do you know I'm not going to botch it up on purpose?" I asked rounding on him.

"You won't" McGonagall said I turned to her. "Do you really want me to write to your parents? Explain that you were caught on a desk in a fairly intimate situation while you were supposed to be serving detention?"

I could feel myself on the verge of tears. I don't know why I hated Quidditch so much but did I really hate it more then the thought of that letter heading home to my parents?

"Fine! Fine… but I don't know how to play or anything like that so I make no promises of winning"

"That's fine it's a punishment… any thing else would be a mere bonus" McGonagall said. "Off you go Miss Evans your boyfriend still needs his punishment"

"Are you kidding? She's going to think this was my fault and tear me a new one!" Sirius said I gave him a look and narrowed my eyes.

"Was it your fault?" I asked suspiciously.

"NO!" he cried I glared at him as I left and waited in the hallway for him. I could hear shouting from behind the closed doors and then a few thumps and thuds as chairs were knocked over. He came out several minutes later a very cranky look on his face while his three friends led him from the room.

"Babe, what'd you get?" I asked

"Detentions. We all got lots of detentions" Peter said

"What did you guys do?"

"Water bombed a bunch of Slytherins a couple kids slipped and broke some bones so we all got a serious talking to" James said I gave him a look. I turned to Sirius who was glaring moodily at the wall.

"I think he's upset about the other thing" Remus said to me

"What other thing?" I asked Remus glanced at Sirius then spun him around I gasped putting a hand over my open mouth. McGonagall had cut his waist length black hair to just above his shoulders.

"Oh my God!" I said "she's really mad at us huh…"

"I think she was already mad, she hadn't been having a good day" Peter said I looked over at him. "While disciplining us before you guys walked in she was going on about her crappy day and how it was really bad for us"

"Yeah" I said running my hands through Sirius' hair, it was strange to feel the ends. "But a couple detentions that's not so bad"

"Tell that to Sirius' hair… I'm thinking of making a scarf" James said holding up the plait McGonagall had cut from Sirius. I scoffed in disgust

"Dude! Why have you still got that?" Peter asked trying not to laugh. James tossed it away grinning at his friend.

"I think it's nice" I said to Sirius "I like being able to run my hands through your hair" I brushed it out with my fingers smiling reassuringly at him. He had remained silent, I assumed he was just mourning the loss of his hair and so to make him feel better I would practically fall all over him.

"Carry me" I ordered he frowned at me but obliged. I grabbed his shoulders and jumped up, he grabbed me and carried me piggy back. I rested my head on his shoulder and looked at Remus who was walking beside us.

"Can I borrow your potions notes? I wasn't paying to much attention this morning" I said

"To busy fornicating on the desks?" James asked I shot him a dark look.

"O Captain my captain. You do know I don't know a single thing about Quidditch right? Well except that you play on a broom and something about a Beater" I said "you didn't really think that plan through did you?"

"No I thought it through. I think everything through… we have rounds where I will explain the rules, you'll also have practises and I'm going to give you extra practises on Sundays"

"What? Fuck off!" I snapped

"Oh I love it when you sware" Sirius said I kissed his head and then turned back to James.

"I'm not giving up a second more of my time then necessary so your Sunday practises can stuff it"

"Lily we wouldn't want to have to get McGonagall involved would we?" James asked innocently.

"You're enjoying this" I snapped he grinned.

"We're having Sunday practises"

"I do my homework on Sundays" I protested

"Do them Saturday"

"I'm with Sirius on Saturdays"

"Find another day to be with Sirius"

"How? Your with him for the other six days you greedy bastards" I said glaring round at the Marauders.

"I'm sure you'll think of something" James said

"Can I kill him?" I whispered in Sirius' ear.

"He just likes to win"

"Yeah, it's a problem"

"You can just see me at night time. I'll kick the boys out of the dorm, after all Jimmy a relaxed Seeker is a good Seeker" Sirius said

Peter kicked James

"Nice one…" he hissed

"What?" James asked

"I've still got a crick in my neck from the last time I had sleep on the common room couch when you brought a conquest up stairs" Remus said

"Remus, don't worry, I won't spend every night in the dorm… just five nights" I said glaring at James.

"Don't think McGonagall would approve of you two sharing a bed" James said glaring back at me.

"Oh that's ok your such a gentlemen I'll just take yours" I said he turned away defeated and Remus smiled.

Sirius carried me upstairs to the Gryffindor common room; he put me down gently then turned to wrap his arms around me.

"Evans!" James snapped I turned to glare at him

"Tomorrow night we'll have a practise hmm?" he said with a grin then not waiting for a reply he walked off upstairs.

"God I hate that guy" I sighed Sirius rested his forehead on my own.

"Let's go annoy him shall we?" he asked pulling me up the stairs of the boy's dormitory.

"Hey" Sirius said cheerfully. James looked up from his bed and then narrowed his eyes. Sirius lifted me up and sat me down on the end of James' bed.

"I'll be right back" he said kissing me

"Right back?" I asked he nodded kissing me again making me giggle. He quickly headed off to the bathroom leaving James and I alone.

"Thought you wanted him to dump you" James said quietly.

"We talked" I said looking over my shoulder at him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"About?" he asked I shifted slightly so I was facing him a little more.

"Just things, I told him what you said"

"You did?"

"James!" Sirius shouted from the bathroom. "Come here"

"I don't wanna" James replied and then looked at me fearfully. I did nothing, he brought it on himself. I picked up a book from the floor glancing at James who was staring at the closed bathroom door.

"No seriously come here!" Sirius snapped.

"Thought Marauders weren't afraid of anything" I said as I flipped through the book in my hands.

"We're not!" James said "except each other…"

"I'd go or he'll get you later" I said

"I'll get you later" James muttered standing up and heading into the bathroom.

I waited… a minute… two minutes… five minutes… ten minutes… twenty minutes. A half hour before they re-emerged, I searched each boys face for signs of a struggle or something but saw nothing.

"Captain, Tennille" I said nodding to James and Sirius in turn. James just gave me a look while Sirius smiled.

"We have to patrol the corridors tomorrow night so I can't make your practise, neither can you" I said to James.

"Well we both a free period while Sirius is in Runes so we'll just do it then" he said

"You got it Captain Jack" I said looking back down at my book he sighed and headed out of the room.

"You're just going to annoying him with stupid captain jokes aren't you?" Sirius asked

"He brought it on himself" I said airily.

"Ah well Miss Evans I do believe we were in the middle of something, before we were rudely interrupted by a disgruntled potions professor"

"Hmm? Really, I can't recall" I said he smiled and picked me up depositing me on his bed kissing me softly before climbing on top of me.

"What did you guys talk about?" I asked as he kissed my neck

"Lily, all you should be doing right now is moaning…" he said and poked my stomach

"I'm not a machine" I said he kissed this one spot on my neck and moaned on reflex.

"There we go" he said happily. I sighed as he fiddled with the zip on my skirt.

"Do you not…?" he trailed off I bit my lip. "You're allowed to say no; sometimes I do just like sleeping with you without actually having sex…"

I kissed him softly

"You're awesome" I said

"And don't you forget it…"

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I was just shifting through some stories just reading some old work hoping it'd reignite my muse some how and it did so I offer you this, leave your thoughts, Penny

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	7. You Shot Reindeer

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Just a quick thing, thanks to Cheynee, Silver B. Wingsfield and paddynprongsie for the review, Penny

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Chapter Seven: You Shot Reindeer

I sighed, walking side by side with James. I had my first stupid Quidditch training session with him while he tried to teach me the rules. We stopped in the centre of the Quidditch pitch.

"Going to let me play with that golden ball of sunshine?" I asked sweetly.

"No, not yet" James said and held up a golf ball. I stared at him.

"We're going to play golf? Sorry Potter I forgot my Pinseeker five-iron at home" I said

"You play golf?"

"No!" I said defensively. I dabbled…

"Anyway it's just to test your eyes"

"Uh the reason I'm on the team is because you liked my eyes!" I said

"I like a lot more then your eyes" he said with a grin.

"Why test them? Regretting your choice?" I asked as if he hadn't spoken.

"Never" he said and handed me a broom.

"Oh but James I don't know how to fly" I said in my best impersonation of some clueless girl.

"Why make this difficult?"

"Uh… because I hate you? I don't want to be here? I got blackmailed into it? I don't know…" I said taking the broom from him.

"You seriously think you can catch a Snitch?" he asked

"I've seen you stuffing around with it, so if you can do it surely I can" I said with a smile.

"Fine, wait here" he said and walked off. I let the broom hover before leaning against it with a sigh. This sucked. It sucked a lot more then sucked, it was dreadful.

"Please look more devastated" James said I sighed and looked at him. "You seriously hate me that much?"

"It's not you, though you know it doesn't help" I said he frowned at me. "Just teach me the way Captain Kirk" I waved my hand and bowed mockingly to him.

"Ok Quidditch is pretty simple"

"I gathered, you play" I said

"Can you not interrupt?" he asked I gestured for him to continue.

"Two teams seven players on each side. There are three Chasers, two Beaters, one Keeper and one Seeker, you" he said I nodded. He gestured to a box lying next to him that was shaking slightly. "There are four balls in Quidditch, the Quaffle which is used to score goals by the Chasers. They throw it through the hoops score ten points, the Keeper defends the hoops. There are two Bludgers which are designed to basically attack the players, our Beaters are excellent so I wouldn't be worried about getting hit. Then there's the Snitch"

"Little gold ball, hovers around and is really annoying. Like you?" I said

"Exactly" he said I smiled. "Getting the Snitch means the game ends and a lovely one hundred and fifty points go to your team"

"So you don't always win if you get the Snitch?" I asked

"No if your team had zero and the other team had a hundred and sixty you'd lose"

"That's so lame" I said he smiled.

"Yeah kind of, but we've never scored zero"

"And yet we keep losing the Cup to Slytherin" I said

"That's because we didn't have you. I just wish I'd seen you flying sooner"

"Like when you made captain at thirteen, second year on the team and they make you captain can I ask how you managed that"

"I'm just that good"

"No seriously" I said

"No seriously, I am just that good… Morgan, my predecessor was really a team player. He was open to any and all strategies even from a peppy twelve year old"

"How come you didn't make it first year?"

"Because I had no idea how good I was in first year. In fact only reason I made the team was because I have excellent passing skills as you have seen many times before"

"Yes you stole my diary and played keep away in the Great Hall with Sirius" I said "Now are we going to talk Captain Cook or are we going to fly?"

"Please stop with the Captains"

"I'll call you Commodore" I said he sighed

"Who's Captain Cook?"

"Oh you got Kirk but not Cook?" I asked

"I don't even know half the Captains you mentioned"

"Most are fictional" I said

"You're just adding random stuff to Captain to annoy me" he said

"Well I may as well try having fun; this is a punishment after all. I have to amuse myself or I'll die" I said hopping on my broom. "Now what?"

"I'll throw some golf balls and you fly and catch them" James said I nodded tying my hair back in a pony tail.

"I threw it" he said

"You did?" I asked feigning surprise. I could see it as if it were made of blind sparkling diamonds catching my eye immediately. I kicked off from the ground and sped off after it catching it just before it hit the ground.

I flew back over to him and dropped it in front of him. I slipped off my broom.

"All done? Awesome I'll just-" I said heading off the pitch but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"You didn't enjoy that?"

"I'm not meant to" I said cheerfully he gave me a look I sighed. "It's so a fluke! I like to fly! I love it ok and I only have good eyes because dad used to take me out and teach me to shoot at deer with a sling shot"

"You did what to deer? Like the animal, the cute little thing you hit it?"

"Fake deer you idiot at Christmas we put up decorations and dad would take me round and we'd knock the reindeer off roofs and stuff" I said.

"Santa definitely doesn't like you"

"Oh if you're so tight with Santa why don't you ask him to bring you some balls? You deer loving sissy" I said

"Oh you are so dead" he said I screamed and chucked my broom at him before taking off at a sprint. He caught up to me in only a few moments and grabbed me.

"Take it back" he said tickling me I shrieked in laughter as he continued this unusual torture.

"Ok! You're allowed to love deer"

"No" he said "the other thing" he continued to tickle me as I refused to relent I just screamed and giggled in his arms.

"OI!"

James let me go and we both looked over to see Sirius, Remus and Peter walking over to us. I coughed and quickly straightened myself out as they approached.

"I want to be on your team" Sirius said "those big strong hands feeling me up…"

James snorted while I shifted awkwardly. Sirius took my hand

"Figured you'd want some lunch" he said pulling me close to him. I could only nod; I don't know why I felt so weird…

"So how was your first session?" he asked as we walked back up to the castle.

"Ok" I said

"Ok?" he repeated I nodded

"Jimmy's not being too hard on you?"

"No he's just the right amount of hard" I said

"What?" Sirius asked with a scoff. I looked at him in alarm and shook my head wildly.

"I meant… I didn't it-" he put a finger on my lips effectively silencing me.

"I'm going to let that go because I'm so nice like that" he said I nodded slowly and then opened my mouth so I could suck on his finger.

"How can I not forgive you when your all adorable like that?" he asked I smiled and lightly bit his finger before pulling it out. "Guys we'll catch up with you" he called to his friends. We'd made it to the castle and Sirius was now leading me over to a broom cupboard.

"Uh-uh! No you are not getting tasty treats till you do your Transfiguration essay" Remus said grabbing Sirius by his tie and pulling him away from me.

"You mean the Transfiguration essay due after lunch?" I asked glaring at Sirius.

"I was getting round to it" he said casually. We all walked into the Great Hall and I sat down beside Sirius while Remus sat on his other side and James and Peter sat opposite.

"Can't I just fail?" he whined when Remus handed him some parchment and a text book.

"You're making him do it here?" I asked

"I'm not missing my lunch hour so I can watch him in the library. Nor will I let him fail a subject" Remus replied then hit Sirius over the back of the head and smiled at me.

"You do the essay we can do something tonight" I said quietly Sirius grinned and pulled me onto his lap kissing me softly.

"Hey, hey, hey, people are trying to eat here" Peter said

"I'm going to have to separate you two" Remus said I stood up and walked over to his other side sitting down beside him then grabbing some random food and chucking it on my plate. Sirius pouted at me and then began to whine. I rolled my eyes

"God you're like a puppy" I said his friends all laughed "I'll go sit by Sev if you don't shut up" I indicated to the Slytherin table Sirius shook his head violently then began to write.

"Thank you Lily" Remus said I nodded.

"We have patrol tonight" James said

"Oh right, sorry Sirius" I said he threw down his quill and leant back in his seat. Under Remus' intense glare he reluctantly picked the quill back up and continued to write.

"If I stop doing my work will you slip into my bed?" James asked this resulted in him getting a face full of orange juice.

"I might" Sirius said James shook his head splattering us all with orange juice and then took off his glasses to clean them with a napkin.

"Now I'm all sticky" James sighed I just narrowed my eyes at him.

"That's what she said" Sirius said I threw orange juice in his face too.

"I wouldn't say anything she's refilled her glass" Peter said I gave him a warning glance before looking at Sirius who narrowed his eyes at me.

"I have to shower"

"You're not going till you finish your essay" Remus said Sirius glared at him and flicked orange juice in his face.

"Thank you for that" Remus muttered

"Does any one know any de-sticky charms? Bugs are going to get stuck to my glasses" James said waving his glasses around.

"Just spit on them" I said he frowned at me. "That's how normal people get rid of gunk on their glasses… here" I held out my hand. He handed me his glasses and I licked the lenses and began to clean them on my skirt.

"I had glasses when I was a kid, usually eyesight doesn't change but I was in a car, with my Nan who used to have the most amazing eye sight even at seventy-three and any way she crashed the car and she died, next day my vision was fine. Mum used to say it was Nan's parting gift to me" I said with a smile and handed his glasses back to him.

"And was it after the accident you shot reindeer?" James asked slipping them on.

"What?" Sirius asked

"Lily used to shoot plastic deer" James said with a sigh, the three boys burst out laughing

"It's so not that funny, and it was after the crash" I said Remus shook his head trying to stop himself from laughing.

"No, Lily it's not that… an inside joke sorry" he said shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Right clearly at James' expense" I said noting the sour look on James' face as his friends laughed.

After lunch I headed off upstairs hand in hand with Sirius to grab our books for Transfiguration. We were walking back down to Transfiguration, the three Marauders trailing behind us to give us some space.

"I'm really glad you two are getting along" Sirius said I frowned at him "you and James"

"Oh… yeah…" I muttered "I think your talk last night must have really done something, he's actually being quite nice to me, I think he's ok with us… you know finally"

"So you have no feelings for him?" Sirius asked I stopped and looked at him.

"What? No. I mean… I'm glad we're moving towards something like a friendship, and now that he doesn't see me in a romantic way any more I think that it's entirely possible" I said

"You think he doesn't see you in a romantic way?" he asked

"No, I mean after he yelled at me and hasn't asked me out in over eight months I think he doesn't. Did he say something?" I asked with a frown.

"No, no nothing like that" he said and pulled me into a hug.

"No dawdling in the corridor" James snapped

"He takes his head boy job very seriously" Sirius said to me I smiled and we continued to walk along the corridor the other three Marauders walking along behind us.

"So my lovely head girl will there be a Hogsmeade weekend soon or do I have to smuggle you out of the castle?" Sirius asked

"I don't know I'd have to discuss it with the head boy" I said

"Well while you're on your rounds tonight will you do just that? I want to take my lady out" he said

"Ok" I said nodding he kissed me softly. McGonagall arrived and led us into the Transfiguration classroom, not missing a thing as soon as everyone was seated she began to talk.

Sirius smiled at me tugging gently on the end of my pony tail as I took notes. I was very close to stabbing him with a quill or jumping him right here in the classroom I hadn't decided which. He curled a loose bit of my hair behind my hair and I looked at him

"What?" I whispered

"Nothing… you're just really beautiful"

"We're already dating you don't have to try and hit on me" I said he smiled and shifted a little closer to me.

"Tell me we're ok" he said I frowned at him

"We are" I said he nodded.

Why was he acting so weird? Was it something I did? Oh great now I'm all paranoid I did something wrong.

As I patrolled the corridor with James that night I was silently debating whether or not to ask him about Sirius. I glanced at James; he was walking alongside me with a playbook in his hands making me smile. I was amazed he found time in between Quidditch to even think.

"Are you ever _not_ thinking about Quidditch?" I asked him.

"Yes" he replied not looking up from his book. "Check that cupboard"

I pulled it open and found a couple inside, they both stared at James and I horrified they'd been caught.

"Back to your dorms. Ten points each" I said they both skittered off quickly. "That's the third couple you've found"

"I'm magic" he said I rolled my eyes.

"Hey James…"

"Mmm?"

"Is… Sirius… is he ok?" I asked James slammed the play book shut and glared at me

"No! I don't do your relationship Lily. We stay away from that topic" he said

"Just – is he all right?"

"He's fine"

"Ok. And he hasn't mentioned anything?"

"Lily"

"Well has he?"

"Of course he has. He always does. But I'm not going to interfere it's not my place" he said

"Damn it Potter!"

"Lily it's your relationship! You talk to him!"

I sighed and leant against the wall. I was not going to get anything from him. James sighed too and looked at me.

"You're good for him and he knows it. Hell Lily you'd be a good influence on any guy you were with" he said I nodded

"Ok… thanks" I said feeling a little better.

"I live to serve" he said and went back to flipping through his Quidditch playbook trying to figure out how to beat Ravenclaw next week. "In there"

I pulled open another random door and found a couple inside.

"Regulus" I said the boy stared at me and then looked at James. The girl beside him frowned at him, clearly hoping he could get her out of trouble.

"Hi Lily" Regulus said straightening himself out. "You're the new Gryffindor Seeker I hear"

"I am" I said "I noticed that you made Captain"

"Yeah well Slytherin has the tradition of Seekers as Captains so I was kind of a shoe-in, how's Sirius?"

"Seems fine"

"Sorry to cut this short but you do realise there's a curfew which your both in total violation of right now" James said I glanced at him.

"All right back to your dorms. Five points from Slytherin" I said the two of them headed off down the corridor and disappeared around the corner.

"Why did you only dock five points when that other couple got ten each?" James asked

"Uh… because that girl earlier was Mallory David, Sirius' ex-squeeze and I just knew she had some biting little retort for me so instead of giving her the option I just docked points. And besides Regulus is fine…"

"Liking Slytherins now are we?" James asked

"I've always liked Slytherins you know that. Why do you think I hang around Sev so much?"

"Because you're silly" James said.

"Well don't worry; I won't be seeing much of him any more. It's so weird he used to be like my best friend"

"What? Really?"

"James I was about as unpopular in primary school as I am right now"

"What? That's so not true, you're popular"

"No I'm not, stop lying. Anyway I think that's all if not I don't care, they can wind up pregnant or whatever I'm going to bed" I said and headed off down the corridor. I heard James running up the corridor to catch up to me.

"Skiving on your duties Miss Evans I am appalled"

"Go be appalled over there then" I said waving my hand to my left.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh now you care?" I asked he shrugged. I just shook my head and led the way back to the common room.

"Oh Potter, Hogsmeade weekend, two weeks?"

"I'll tell McGonagall" he said I nodded and headed off upstairs to the girls dormitory to get some sleep.

---------------------------------

It was Saturday and today would be my first training session with the rest of my team. Tash and Claire gladly dragged me down to the Quidditch pitch despite my protests. I'd actually begun to make excuses to why I couldn't go.

"I could be terminally ill here" I cried as they pushed me into the change room. I stopped in front of James and glared at him.

"One Seeker packaged and delivered" Tash said with a smile.

"Thank you" James said and Tash and Claire left. He then took my shoulders and spun me around to face the five people sitting on the benches "This is our new Seeker Lily Evans"

"Isn't she a seventh year?" a fourth year boy asked.

"That's Steven McDaniel, everyone calls him Mac he's a Beater" James said to me before turning to address the team "and yes she is a seventh year, there are no rules on how old you have to be to be on the team"

"But if she's so good why didn't she try out in earlier years and save us all the embarrassment of loosing to Slytherin two years in a row?" Mac asked. These guys were unbelievable. Thankfully the whole team seemed just as opposed to my being here as I was.

"Because I find Quidditch to be a stupid and barbaric sport worth no amount of time dwelling upon, why I feel I even wasted my breath on that sentence" I said

"Whoa down Lily. She's kidding" James said and pinched my arm I glared at him.

"Is she any good?" a sixth girl asked.

"You all saw her the other day" James said "Rachel Hope one of our Chasers. Her twin sister Emily, a Keeper" the Hope twins both indicated to themselves when he said their names. Rachel had long brown hair tied in a plait and Emily's hair was cut just below her jaw so it'd be easy enough to tell them apart.

"True but is the reason she's on the team because she's good or you want in her pants?" Mac asked.

"I hate you, and I hate him, and I hate this sport and I hate this stupid team. You seriously think forcing me to play for you guys is going to get him in my pants?" I shot back.

"Lily, you're not making many friends" James said

"They're not being nice either" I shot back.

"Because you make it sound like you're going to make us loose on purpose" James said poking me sharply.

"Yeah right. The game can only end if I get that Snitch right? So I'll just be grabbing it faster then any of these losers can score so I can get the fuck away from _you_" I said and punched his arm he narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm PMSing and Sirius is being annoying, do not mess with me!" I snapped.

"All righty team lets get practising and Lily chill the fuck out or I'll have to tell McGonagall you're not being a team player" James said I groaned the rest of the team however seemed happy about my misfortune.

"Get your robes on girly lets go" James said handing me a set of Gryffindor Quidditch robes.

"Words cannot express my dislike of you at this moment"

"Ah you'll love me again by rounds tonight, if not I'll just bitch to Sirius" he said I scoffed and went to change. I came back out and James smiled. Everyone else was already dressed and on the pitch.

"Aw aren't you cute, now lets go" he said ushering me off onto the pitch and over to his team.

"That's Charlie Pensile the other Beater and Michael Lordes we just call him Miles he's another Chaser" James said.

"And I'm the pain in your arse can we get this over with please?" I asked sweetly.

After twenty minutes of flying I was once again under the glare of the whole team while James shouted at me. They all flew over to watch, twenty minutes and I'd already caught the Snitch a dozen times. The team was extremely impressed and I could sense them all warming toward me, they may not like my personality but they loved my ability. Their captain however was a little less fond

"Stop catching it so fast" James snapped

"I'm sorry you're yelling at me for doing my job?" I asked

"Yes because nobody else can do theirs!"

"So what in a match you want me to sit here while you guys score?" I asked

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Because I can be!" I retorted. He responded to that by making us run laps of the pitch as apposed to flying them. I was certainly not making friends; the team glared at me as it was mostly my fault they were being forced to run.

"Another lap!" James barked

"Oh fuck off Potter" I snapped making Emily Hope giggle wildly.

"Another two" he said I flipped him off "our first match is next week Lily!"

"Then shouldn't we be well rested and relaxed?" I shot back. The rest of the ream nodded their agreement.

"No it's Ravenclaw, they want relaxed. They're agile we need to be to" James said

"We're playing Sean?" I asked stopping in front of him.

"First name basis with the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain huh? If you're so cosy with him maybe you could nick their playbook" James said

"I'm also fucking the Slytherin Quidditch captains brother want me to see if I can swipe their playbook too?" I asked

"Don't get cute!" he snapped I just stuck my tongue out at him and resumed my running. I used to run a lot when I was little, I loved that feeling of the wind in my face, which was why I loved flying, so I had no trouble keeping up with James' irritating pace. Most of the team had collapsed by now but I still ran I knew I would soon join them but until then I'd keep running, jumping over them lightly as they lay on the grass.

"Evans!" James said I ran across the pitch to him and stopped in front of him, breathing quickly but trying not to show just how exhausted I was.

"Great job" he said "all of you thank Lily who ran your five laps for each of you"

"I ran over twenty laps?" I gasped

"Just about, it was kind of fun to watch you go round and round and round and when you didn't drop I got a little worried. You ok?"

"Never better. I mean, I can't move my legs now that I've stopped but you know…" I trailed off.

"Good to have you on the team" he said patting my shoulder before walking off to check on the rest.

After a gruelling practise I trudged up to the castle with everyone else, poor Emily fell over twice and so Mac was carrying her up the castle. I was limping slightly and we were all quite worn and torn. After the ridiculous running session we'd all been forced to fly about and check our reaction times and concentrations. Mine was fine, mostly, I'd gotten hit in the leg by a Bludger, Miles was not and he'd gotten one to the face.

I glared at James as we got to the castle. His poor team was suffering from his apparent need to prove something; there shouldn't be injuries in practises.

"I don't think we're going to make it to next week Potter" I said he gave me a look.

"You will, they all will they always do. I know how hard to push them…"

"Do you know how hard to push me?" I asked indicating to my injured leg.

"Yes, a lot harder then them" he replied with a grin.

"We missed dinner again? I fucking hate you Captain Potter" Charlie said

"Love you guys too" James said as his team just groaned and climbed the stairs.

I headed off upstairs after them but barely made it to the second floor before I got ambushed by Tash and Claire.

"So, how was it?" Tash asked. As I'd been whining about having to go all week she was well within her right to. I told her what had happened and she laughed.

"Lily you're such a bitch" Tash said and laughed.

"I don't know why this bothers me so much" I sighed "I like flying and I've got good eyes"

"Maybe you feel that you didn't get on the team fairly and now are trying to get kicked off so the poor kid who did earn that spot can have it" Clair muttered. I stared at her that actually sounded like me a lot.

"That might be it, but see the thing is I don't know" I said.

"Evans! The halls don't patrol themselves, get changed and come on" James cried from a few floors above me.

"Gotta go" I sighed

"Wow Captain Potter sucks. You should be in Ravenclaw, O'Dell rocks" Tash said

"Stop making me jealous. I assume next week you will be cheering for him?" I asked

"Nothing personal Lils, it's just our house pride" Claire said and they both hurried off. I headed off upstairs to the common room.

"Hey gorgeous" Sirius said grabbing my hand and pulling me close to him.

"Hi stranger" I said he smiled

"I'm sorry, but you've been busy too" he said

"I know" I sighed "we'll definitely do something on the Hogsmeade weekend ok?"

"Yeah, sure" he nodded I smiled and kissed him quickly before hurrying off up stairs to change.

He was right I had been really busy, and I was getting weirded out that he was flaking on me when it was actually me flaking on him. I sighed; being in a relationship is hard…

I headed back downstairs in my school robes and waited for James.

"Something wrong?" Sirius asked when I joined him on the common room couch.

"I could ask you the exact same question" I said

"Lily" James said

"Duty calls" I said apologetically to Sirius who just nodded. I stood up and followed James out of the common room. I didn't really want to talk to him; I was still kind of pissed about training. He didn't talk either so it was good, we just walked in silence around the castle, with him just some how knowing where everyone was. The silence ebbed on but I didn't mind, there was something kind of nice about Hogwarts at night.

James and I turned a corner and found Professor Vector, the Arithmancy teacher, yelling at Sirius and Peter.

"I think you got this corridor covered" James said Vector shot him a look.

We walked along the corridor and passed them James signalling over Vector's shoulders. We went around the corner and stopped waiting till Vector was done.

"How the hell did you get caught? You were invisible" James said, his two friends just watched him sheepishly. "Just go, I'll be by later"

"Do you want the cloak? We can take the map" Peter said

"No you'll probably get caught, she didn't confiscate it did she?" James asked suddenly alarmed.

"No" Sirius said holding up a cloak.

"Holy crap is that an invisibility cloak?" I asked

"No" Sirius said putting it behind his back. I gave James a look

"All right, you conduct your Marauder business, I'll be over here with all the sane people" I said and walked off halfway down the corridor and leant against a door. They had their whispered conversation before James hurried over to me.

"I've got somewhere to be. Think you can finish up the rest of patrol on your own?"

"Sure whatever" I said and headed off down the corridor. I'd learnt long ago not to ask a Marauder what he was up to. You get less then nothing.

----------------------------------------

My week had flown by without to many major problems, except that I was still unable to find more then five seconds to spend with my boyfriend. Even now I was once again presented with a weekend I couldn't because I had my first Quidditch match today. I woke up early and sat in the common room trying to do some homework to quash my nerves. It didn't really work.

"Hope you're ready Evans" Miles said as he walked past with the Hope twins. I just gave him a small smile.

I was on an all right basis with the team now. They all loved me for my amazing skills and the fact I took no crap from James.

"Lily" Alana said using her best professor tone. "You must eat young girl, now go change into your robes and come eat some food"

I sighed and stumbled up the staircase past a bunch of Gryffindor girls all wishing me luck for today's match. I got changed and had just finished tying my hair back when I was pulled down from the dorm and all the way to the Great Hall by my eager dorm mates.

"This is so exciting, we actually might win this year" Veronica said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table. Most of the school was already here having their breakfast, I couldn't understand how they could eat. Then again this was like the tenth Quidditch match I'd ever seen and the first one I was actually playing in.

"I'm sure you'll do great" Judy said I shook my head. Alana put some breakfast on my plate and shoved it toward me. I just blanched at it.

"Eat it. You need your strength, I'll force feed you" Alana said.

Claire and Tash sat down on either side of me startling everyone around us. They were both Ravenclaws and that was who Gryffindor would be playing today.

"You're going to do awesome Lily" Tash said

"Really awesome" Claire assured me

"It won't help you win but you'll still play brilliantly" Tash said

"Tucker! Get out of here!" James yelled. Tash and Claire both stood up and gave me encouraging smiles before hurrying over to the Ravenclaw table.

"This is going to be the worst day of my life" I said

"Just catch the Snitch. Don't pay attention to anything else" James said and stood up. "All right team lets head down" I stood up and followed him out of the Great Hall

"Lils I need to talk to you for a minute" Sirius said grabbing my arm and pulling me off.

"Sirius" James warned giving him a look.

"She'll be there in time I promise" Sirius said and led me across the Entrance Hall to stand in a quiet part of it. The rest of the school was beginning to head down to the Quidditch pitch so we wouldn't be over heard through the chatter.

"Ok… look I really, really like you Lily" he said I nodded. He stopped there, I didn't have time, James would kill me if I missed the match or was late… so would McGonagall and I was little more afraid of her.

"But?" I prompted. Sirius looked at me

"I think we should break up" he said and sighed. I stared at him, my brain not properly registering what he'd said.

"What?" I asked.

"I think we should break up. We've reached a stale mate in our relationship, it's not going anywhere new. So I think it's time we see other people"

"Evans!" Mac shouted waving his arms at me I turned back to Sirius

"Uh… can we talk about this later?" I asked

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm sorry Lily but I think we're better off friends you know" he said. I nodded and spun on my heel making my way over to the Quidditch pitch. Quidditch was the last thing I wanted to do right now just above that was burst into tears in front of everyone. This would have to be over… fast.

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Got nothing to say about it. Just felt that it should be like this... yeah tell me what you think, Penny

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	8. You, Me, Hogsmeade

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Sorry it took so long but I was trying to finish some other chapters but inspiration struck (finally) and so here it is. Thanks to paddynprongsie and Cheynee for the reviews, Penny

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Chapter Eight: Me, You, Hogsmeade

I stood on the Quidditch pitch staring at the Ravenclaw team who stood opposite us.

"Mount your brooms"

Simultaneously the fourteen players all swung their leg over their brooms; I glared at Sean O'Dell the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain and their Seeker. He remained impassive. I heard the whistle indicating the game had started and quickly kicked off from the ground. I know James had said to wait a little bit but I had to get that Snitch as quickly as I could or I was in serious danger of bursting into tears and clinging to whoever I could hug first.

I flew up into the air and began my search, taking James' advice and just blocking everything else out. But my sadness kept creeping back in. That's when I spotted it right near the Ravenclaw goal posts. I idly drifted by Sean who took no notice of me as he dodged a Bludger sent at him by Mac. I dived for the Snitch sitting right near the ground, fluttering around the goal post.

"Evans has spotted the Snitch!" the announcer called

"What?" I heard Sean yell and I knew he must be following me now. I swerved past a Bludger and headed toward the Snitch, it took off up the goal post and I quickly changed direction of my broom and hurried after it. It flew through one of the hoops and so did I edging closer and closer to it. Then it changed direction and so did I, following it higher toward the sky. I flew past Sean who quickly turned and began to follow me.

"Lily!" I heard James shout. I threw a glance, a Bludger was heading straight at me, from the left, instead of doing the sane thing, which would be to hurl the broom up or down I stood up on it. I was to close to the Snitch to change course now, this game had to end, so taking that risk I dived off my broom. Three things happened at once; first I burst into tears the big thick tears that seemed to have no intention of stopping for a while second I heard the unmistakable sound of wood shattering so my broom had been hit by that Bludger splintering me with wood I was that close to it and last my fingers fastened around the Snitch. This all happened in about two seconds. The whistle sounded signalling the end of the game and I fell through the air. I stared at the ground getting closer a little too quickly and realised I hadn't really thought this through. I usually think everything through. I neared the ground and realised I was really screwed, I couldn't think of anything to help my fall but at that moment I landed in the arms of Sean and he managed to steer us both safely to the ground. We basically crash landed and rolled along the grass together. I lay on top of Sean sobbing quietly.

Better off friends what did he mean? Was that why he'd been avoiding me all week? Because he knew he didn't want me any more? And why did he have to do it today?

"Are you ok?" Sean asked I sat up on top of him and sniffed shaking my head. I had waited to long and was now sobbing hysterically. In his lap. No wonder he sounded so uncomfortable.

"Are you hurt?" he asked in alarm sitting up staring to check me for injuries. I shook my head again and wiped my eyes.

"That's got to be a record, twelve minutes!" the announcer was calling, I blocked him out and climbed off Sean. Sitting quietly beside him hiccoughing I tried to control my tears wiping at them almost desperately.

"Why on earth are you crying?" he asked quietly. I shook my head unable to reply, he patted my arm softly. "I'll send Tash and Claire around to the library for you in an hour so you can talk ok?"

"Thanks" I said standing up. The rest of the team had landed by now and were rushing forward to congratulate me while the Ravenclaws scowled in defeat.

"That was fantastic Lily" James said.

"Thanks" I said handing him the Snitch and wiping my eyes. Hopefully he wouldn't notice "I'm going to go shower"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the water works?" James asked stepping in front of me. Damn.

I sniffed and gave him the best reassuring smile I could, he didn't buy it. I didn't care. So I, still smiling, quickly walked off the pitch. As soon as I was free of people my smile slipped and I climbed up to the castle. I couldn't be in the locker room with every one cheering the way they were so I soon found myself in the comforting warmth from the spray of my dorm showers. I can't believe he broke up with me. I rested my head against the cool wall letting the hot spray wash away my tension. Why? And just like that… I don't know how long I stood there; it must have been a while as my dorm mates were getting concerned, their pounding on the door becoming slightly frantic.

"Lily!" Judy called "You won; you shouldn't be trying to drown yourself in the shower"

"I'm fine" I said and sighed, I didn't sound fine at all.

"Oh right" Alana said sarcasm just oozing through her words.

"Then why did you burst into tears all over Sean O'Dell?" Judy countered.

"Because Sirius broke up with me!" I said sniffing back some tears.

I hated this. It sucked… I felt sad but not the sad I should feel. We'd been doing ok, though we hadn't really spoken much in the past week. Was it because he was going to dump me? Is that why James had given him that look this morning, had he known what was coming? No he wouldn't have let him do it right before a game… his mind had the priorities all wrong…

"Oh… Lils… come and talk to us! We've got chocolates and… hugs!" Judy said I smiled. "Come on Lily, you'll get all wrinkly!"

"Claire and Tash are waiting out in the corridor!" Alana said. I sighed

"Can I just have twenty minutes please?" I asked

"Fine, twenty minutes, but if you don't come out we're going in" Alana said.

So twenty minutes later I climbed out and had changed into some jeans and a t-shirt. I didn't bother doing anything else to my hair leaving it damp, the girls all gave me a sad look when I neglected to even put on a little bit of make up. I had no one to impress now. I certainly didn't want another boyfriend right now, to much to effort to only have your heart get bent. I let the four girls in my dorm form a sort of protective shield around me and lead me down to the common room.

"Evans" James called

"Back off Potter!" Veronica snapped and they quickly ushered me out into the hallway. Claire and Tash stood waiting with Sean, I frowned at him. He had changed from his Quidditch robes and now stood with my friends looking as concerned as they were.

"Just wanted to see how you were. Judy told us" Sean said to my curious look. I sighed and turned to Tash and Claire as my fellow Gryffindor's headed back into the common room, I'd been grateful for the escort. As they were all taller then me it had meant I hadn't even had to see any of the Marauders.

Tash and Claire both hugged me tightly.

"We'll go out to the grounds… it's a nice day" Tash said. Ordinarily they'd take me to sit up in Ravenclaw tower when we had a private chat. We'd only be disturbed by fellow Ravenclaws but they were all so quiet and studious usually they just drifted by us. Only speaking to us when we to close to the portrait hole, most Ravenclaws actually liked me but today I'd probably not be their favourite person.

"Want us to kill him?" Tash asked.

"I just don't understand what happened…" I muttered heading along the corridor with them.

"He's a twat Lily" Sean said

"Thanks Sean for that input but I think Lily needs some girl talk here" Tash said

"Oh yeah sure thing, you come talk to me if you need some guy talk" Sean said I nodded. We all watched him walk off down the corridor before Tash began to giggle.

"That boy is so crushing on you" Tash said

"What? Oh Tash I don't want to think about that now"

"Even after you dived into his arms?" Tash asked "Talk about falling for a guy"

"I dived he caught me, there was no falling for him" I said shaking my head "can we please talk about how my life is now totally over?"

"Oh right yeah because you were going to marry him one day, after all he is such a keeper" Claire said. As we made it out into the grounds a sudden thought hit me.

"You guys didn't like him at all did you?" I asked as we sat beneath a large tree enjoying the shade its branches provided.

"Well his track record didn't really run in his favour. I mean he used girls and dumped them just as soon as he was bored" Claire said carefully.

"No… he stayed with me" I said unsure why I was defending him when all Claire had said was true.

"But then he got bored, what did he say when he broke up with you?" Tash asked.

"That we reached a stale mate in our relationship"

"Translation" Claire said "bored" her and Tash said together. I sighed

"I'm not boring am I?" I asked self consciously.

"No… but Sirius is not a nice guy" Claire said. I'd known all along they hadn't really liked him though I wasn't sure if that made them good friends or bad friends if they hadn't told me this.

"But he is! You didn't know him like I did" I protested

"No probably not" Tash said "but still… I mean… look…" she stopped that sentence and jumped in a new direction "I think this is a really sticky situation what with James and all"

"What about James?" I asked sharply.

"Well everyone knows how he feels about you" Claire muttered.

"You think he was the reason Sirius and I broke up!" I cried standing up. The two of them grabbed me quickly knowing I was about to go kill James Potter.

"Down Lily. Look I don't know, the only ones who do are James and Sirius. But you can't honestly tell me your heartbroken about this break up" Claire said "I'm your best friend"

"Hey"

"One of your best friends" Claire corrected "there's no point in trying to lie about it"

"Well I'm still upset Claire!" I cried. They weren't being very understanding right now "I mean Sirius was my first"

"Sirius was your first what? Please finish that sentence; please tell me that sentence had more to it. Tell me you did not sleep with Sirius Black"

"What does it matter Claire? He hurt me like you both knew he would. Like everyone knew he would, everyone except me!" I cried and leant back against the tree staring at my feet.

"Well you aren't crying I'm sorry if I don't believe you're too upset about it" Claire said moving to sit in front of me.

"I cried before…" I muttered distractedly as Tash slid closer to me putting an arm around my shoulder, hugging me closer to her. "But I am upset about this though! You know you're right I'm not as upset as I should be if I loved him. I don't love him! I didn't. He was just a really sweet guy that I really, really liked and I really, really trusted. So please stop being a bitch about this"

"I'm sorry Lily, but I don't want you pining unnecessarily" Claire said putting a comforting hand on my knee. I gave her a small smile and she leant forward to hug me.

"Next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend. We should all go, just us girls yeah?" Claire said

"Oh I dunno…" I said hesitantly

"I'll invite Sean" Tash said in a singsong voice.

"He can't seriously like me, I'm a Black-reject" I sighed

"Ah yes you can finally join that prestigious club, I'm sure Paula Perry will be along to invite you in, she's their leader" Tash said.

"Oh I will kick her butt" I said "I don't want to join their club"

"But you can be president; you made it the longest with him" Tash said I laughed and sniffed. I wasn't crying anymore but I still had to sniff a lot or my tears would fall out.

"Come on, let's go eat lots of cake" Tash said standing up then taking my hands and pulling me up.

"Chocolate cake?"

"Chocolate is the only one that fixes break-up angst" Tash said.

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I sat in my dormitory on Sunday morning finishing off an essay for Charms. Stuck a little near the end I stood up deciding to enlist the help of the library and its wonderful books.

"Where are you going?" Alana asked brightly.

"Library"

"Oh… I'll come with you, wait here while I'll just get a book from the common room" she said. I frowned at her as she left and turned to my dorm mates. None of them said anything and I gave them a suspicious look. Every time I had gone out of the dormitory one of them would head out first and then come and get me. I think they were checking the common room was Sirius free, which was nice but a little annoying.

"Uh… let's wait till later" Alana said when she'd returned. Sirius alert.

"Let's not" I said with a bright smile.

"Then we'll go with you" Veronica said standing up. I glanced at her, this women stick together thing was so sweet, but again a little annoying.

"Nah, it's fine, don't you worry" I said and then quickly left before anyone else could protest. They bolted after me

"Guys, I'm not going to burst into tears at the sight of him, I've had ex-boyfriends before" I said

"No Lily it's-" Alana started but I'd already seen what it was.

Sirius sat on the couch, sixth year Kristy Dawson on his lap, making out.

"Oh" I said quietly, that didn't stop them though. I caught Remus who gasped at the sight of me and glanced at Sirius in alarm before looking back at me. I smiled brightly at him and then headed off to the library. The girls from my dorm all scrambled to catch up with me pestering me asking if I was ok. Remus' voice joined their chorus and I stopped for him.

"Watch it Lupin" Veronica warned.

"Can I talk to you?" Remus asked me gently I nodded mutely. "Alone" he emphasised. I glanced over my shoulder at the girls

"We'll meet you in the library" Judy said and they left.

"Are you ok?" Remus asked I nodded

"He can do whatever he wants. I will only say it was a little tactless but that's Sirius. He was born without that function" I said Remus couldn't help but smile.

"I like you as a friend Lily please don't let this stuff it up"

"I'm a mature person… I think someone should try to get Sirius on that same path" I said pointedly.

"No more common room make-outs" Remus promised.

"No more common room make-outs less then a day after dumping the girl you dated for over half a year!" I snapped then took a calm breath and flashed him a smile. It was too late. He knew I was hurting and I had so hoped he wouldn't. Then Sirius would be left thinking he had not affected my life in any way. But he had he'd opened me up, got me to climb out from the shy little shell I'd cocooned myself in for years. Before I knew it I was sobbing hysterically and I threw my arms around poor Remus who yelped in shock. I needed something to hug right now and I knew Remus wasn't big with hugging, I'd apologise later but for now I would cry into his chest. Comforted by his soft heartbeat I settled down and pulled away.

"Sorry…"

"Oh don't worry. I'm relieved. I was expecting that to go much longer. My ex-girlfriend cries for hours…" he said I smiled.

"Usually I do but the sound of some ones heart beating calms me down pretty quick" I said

"I will store that away for future reference" he said

"I don't plan on bursting to tears in front of you, weak moment thanks though" I said he smiled

"Any time. You sure you're all right?"

"Yes Remus, contrary to what people think I have been dumped before"

"Only an idiot would let you go" he said I laughed

"I'll see you later"

"Sure" he said I turned and headed off to the library. I found the girls and they all waved me over.

"You've been crying" Judy said gently.

"All over poor Remus Lupin" I said

"He let you touch him?" Alice asked I raised my eyebrows inquiringly "when I went to kiss him he was on the other side of the room so fast…"

"I didn't really give him a choice; I kind of just fell on him"

"Ah… going to try snare another Marauder, girl your rebound is just whacky" Alana said I frowned at her.

"No! I will never touch another Marauder. Ever! Remus is a friend" I said the girls all nodded. They may have had their doubts but I didn't care.

I finished all my homework quickly, determined to set this awkward weekend behind me and simply move on to get labelled as Sirius Blacks ex-girlfriend. I wanted to be at that point so bad; it meant that no one would give me sympathetic looks in the halls or anything like that. Sure being Sirius Blacks girlfriend had been easier but well anything was better then what I was right now Sirius Blacks heartbroken, weepy, reject.

I kept almost bursting into tears as I carried out my day; this wasn't different from my usual life though, I was just extra jumpy and a lot more prone to cry. More then once I slipped into a broom closet. Whenever any one I knew saw me they knew I'd been crying. I hated that, I was usually so good. I couldn't understand my tear tap I didn't feel all that sad, so it was easy to plaster a smile on my face, but some how my subconscious was in control. Maybe when it sunk in I'd know my tears were justified, right now however it was blank emptiness. I didn't want Sirius to know he'd done so much to me, but I was hurt. He'd done it so abruptly, so coldly and at the worst possible time. That might be why I was crying, do I demand answers? Do I want answers? Do I care?

That last one shocked me, I climbed the stairs to my dormitory that night, asking myself those questions repetitively. I sighed getting up on Monday morning leaving my hair down no matter how it annoyed me; I needed it to hide my face if I started to cry again. I'm pretty sure I'm all cried out though.

Today I would have to see him as he was in nearly every one of my classes.

Most of the school had learnt of our break up. I felt kind of bad… everyone seemed to be on my side, even though yeah_ he _technically dumped _me_ but still it was kind of harsh. I guess James was right… I was pretty popular but not for the good reasons.

In Charms all the Hufflepuff girls sat glaring at Sirius the entire class. Professor Flitwick had given up on making us pay attention. He too also appeared to be leaning in my favour as every time Sirius made any movement house points got docked. A nice gesture but Sirius was in my house…

I had no idea that people really thought about us so much. I knew the teachers all did, they were always wondering why good little Lily Evans was with the devil known as Sirius Black. I guess the student body really does like to gossip.

Sirius groaned as another point was taken from Gryffindor. I sat next to Judy in silence and vented as soon as we got out of class.

"They're being so mean to him… I am not looking forward to Transfiguration" I said she looked at me a little shocked. I suppose everyone thought I was going to hate him. He had moved on so quickly. I was upset not mad. He'd been really nice to me, while we were dating of course. I'd be cold toward him but that was no different from two years ago, I wouldn't hate him. I'd never hated anyone; I didn't think I had the energy to.

"Maybe you should say something?" Judy suggested.

"Like what?" I asked Judy shrugged.

"You're smart you'll think of something"

Class with McGonagall was awful to. She was on my side as well and was currently being very short with Sirius when he stuffed up the cat he was supposed to be changing into box of tissues.

"Well it's not my fault Professor! Cats just hate me!" Sirius snapped James sniggered behind him. The class were also trying to keep their faces straight; we all knew that McGonagall's Animagus form was a cat.

I glanced at Sirius from the safety of my seat on the other side of the classroom. The Ravenclaws had all banded around me, even though I'd been the reason for their Quidditch loss two days ago. They were pretty quick to forget to help me out. It was nice; then again I'd always been pretty popular with the Ravenclaws. I was currently sitting next to Sean O'Dell, at Tash's insistence and my protest.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for that cheek" McGonagall said.

"What!" Sirius cried outraged as the little cat sitting on his desk tried to take a swipe at him.

"Want a detention too?"

"But _this _cat is being most unco-operative" Sirius said and winced as the cat scratched his arm.

I sighed and picked up my cat, which I'd transfigured about three times back and forth already.

"Mines fine, want to swap?" I offered. The whole room was silent just watching us and waiting for Sirius to say something mean so they could all be mad at him.

"Uh… sure" Sirius said I stood up and put my cat on his desk and picked up his one patting it softly and headed back over to my seat sitting down once more. All animals love me so when Sirius' cat immediately began to bite my finger playfully I smiled.

"What are you doing?" Tash hissed "if your nice to him we all have to be" I gave her a look and she shrugged going back to her cat.

"That was a very nice thing you did Lily" Sean said I gave Tash a triumphant look.

"Thank you Sean" I said he smiled.

"So I was just wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend. Not as a date if it's to soon just as friends" Sean said I stared at him.

"No! No! No! No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A million times no!" I said standing up

"Too soon?" he asked

"Yes you moron" Claire said.

"God no! Never ever. How could you even ask me that?" I said not caring that everyone in the classroom was now staring at us. I couldn't understand my over reaction but I needed to shout at something and it seemed it'd be Sean.

"Miss Evans would you sit down!" McGonagall snapped.

"_You_" I pointed my finger at him as I spoke "Sean O'Dell are a prick! I could never ever go out with you… why I – I – I would rather go on a date with _James fucking Potter_" I said the whole room 'ooohhh'd this comment. I didn't care; everyone in the school knew what I thought of ever going on a date with James. I frowned in thought as my anger coursed through me and flipped a switch I wasn't aware I even possessed.

"JAMES" I bellowed at him, he flinched and stared at me looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "You're coming to Hogsmeade with me this weekend!"

"What?"

"It's not a question it's an order" I snapped pulling out my wand and pointing it at him. The tip was sparking dangerously as I shook with rage "I dare you to say no, I double dare you!"

"Fine yes ok please don't kill me!" he cried. I burst into tears and sat back down. I quickly transfigured my cat into a box of tissues angrily pulling one out and wiped my tears from my face.

"Can I be excused?" I asked as I sobbed.

"Of course" McGonagall said I stood up and quickly hurried out of the room. I couldn't explain why I'd reacted that way and it was starting to scare me. I liked Sean, he was nice to me. I'd had a crush on him last year in fact when Sirius has asked me out I was halfway over to Sean to do that exact same thing. I smiled remembering the day.

I'd been sitting with Tash and Claire in the library, Sean sat on the other side of the room engrossed in a Transfiguration book.

"Oh Lily would you ask him out already you're driving me nuts" Claire said. I glared at her then my face softened as I got paranoid

"What if he says no?"

"Ask him for help with Transfiguration. Then work Hogsmeade into the conversation" Tash said knowing I liked having a plan. This made me feel a little more secure.

"But I'm better then him at Transfiguration"

"Lily if you actually needed help you'd be asking bloody Potter just pretend!" Tash said. I sighed

"You really think he'd like me?"

"Yes! And if he says no then you don't have to worry, I'm sure Potter will ask you" Tash said. That had set me off; James wouldn't ask me out if I had a boyfriend. He was much more (though I loathe to admit it) decent then that.

"I'm gonna do it" I said

"Good luck" Tash and Claire said. I smiled and stood up heading over to Sean when a hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me down. I sat in Sirius Blacks lap and frowned at him.

"Yes Black?" I asked glancing over at Sean who was still staring at his book. Sirius whistled to catch my attention.

"Since you're the bestest and the loveliest at Charms would you mind helping me with my essay?" Sirius asked. I couldn't really say no, it was a rare occasion that Sirius Black did homework, even rarer that he was asking for help in it. I'd feel awful and responsible if he failed so I agreed.

"Sure" I said quietly going to slide off his lap but he held me there. I stared at him for a few moments and then he kissed me. I heard several gasps and went to pull away but his hand held the back of my head and soon I found myself kissing him back. I couldn't believe it; I was kissing Sirius, and enjoying it immensely. When he pulled away I moaned surprising myself. He grinned, that arrogant charming grin he had when he had succeeded in something when I didn't slap him it grew a little more arrogant.

"You, me Hogsmeade?" he asked

"Like a date?" I asked

"No, not like a date" he said I frowned at him I was not that kind of girl "exactly a date"

"Oh" I said raising my eyebrows. He kissed me again lightly and I didn't protest, pull away or slap him. "Ok, sure" I heard myself agree.

"Perfect" he said I went to stand up but his hand didn't move. "I wasn't kidding, I do need help" so I slid off his lap into the seat next to, letting him hold my hand, blushing furiously.

That was that, though on our date, I'd asked him incessantly if this was some ploy by James to win my heart, Sirius insisted it wasn't. I'd only let myself fully relax when James had seen us together. The look on his face… you had to see it. It made me cringe to think of it. Sirius had just raised an eyebrow to James almost daring him to say something. He didn't and we continued along. After that I had been quiet smitten.

"Lily?"

A voice snapped my out of my memories. I looked up and stared at Sirius who stared down at me.

"I was thinking about the day you asked me out. Did you know I'd been going to ask Sean O'Dell to Hogsmeade?" I asked him. He shook his head and sat down beside me pulling me onto his lap obviously thinking I'd run. Only now he'd done that did that thought cross my mind. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Sirius.

"So if you'd been sitting on my left I'd never have gotten the chance to ask you out" he said

"Why did you?" I'd asked him this a thousand times. A thousand and one seemed to be fair, but he gave me the same answer he always did.

"Because, your pretty and your smart and kind" he said curling a bit of my hair behind my ear.

"Thank you. You know I mostly agreed out of shock and slightly because I knew James wouldn't ever, ever try to make a move on his best friend's girl"

"I know"

"You didn't mind?" I asked he smiled at me.

"Not really, I was so glad you agreed I didn't mind. When you agreed to keep seeing me I knew that you actually liked me to it wasn't just piss off James. Though we both did that spectacularly. He isn't talking to me right now"

"Why?"

"Because I broke the love of his life's frail little heart. Remus told us you burst into tears and clung to him. I'm quite glad he didn't bash your head into a wall. He broke my wrist once, mind you I wasn't trying to hug him" Sirius muttered. I didn't want to know what he had been trying to do.

"Why did you kiss Kristy Dawson?" I asked he looked a little surprised

"For you" I laughed at him. "I know how mean girls can be, I know there are rumours flying about of you jumping into bed with the next Marauder, everyone is waiting for you to be the whore I usually date. So to make sure you stayed sweet and innocent I kissed Kristy, a desperate little girl who will now be called a home wrecker and a whore but someone who can handle it. You wouldn't be able to"

I was so touched I didn't bother getting mad about him thinking I couldn't handle myself.

"So you wrecked your reputation for mine?" I was a little sceptical he was, after all, Sirius Black.

"_This is_ my reputation. I'm a womanizer" he said

"But you weren't like that with me, why?"

"I'd never dated anyone like you. I wanted something different, see if I could last, which I did… you know by my standards"

"Mine too" I said feeling he should have a nice comment also. He smiled

"You're so darn cute. I'm sorry" he said I stared at him. "I should have handled it better"

"What?"

"I meant that we should have talked on Saturday… talked a little more I mean" he said

"Well apparently we're both free now" I said

"I can't see you any more"

"I got that part!" I said a little more coolly then I'd intended.

"Your really great Lily but I can't give you what you deserve. You want some guy to live the dream with… fall in love with and marry some day"

"I'm seventeen don't tell me what I want!"

"No but Lily… you may not want to marry every guy you date but you want to love them and you want to connect. We can't"

"I do love you"

"But not the right way right?" he said, I froze "You're realising it now I can see it on your face. Even before you've only ever said you might love me. And now you realised you do but it's not the right love, the love you need to feel for a boyfriend"

"I just feel really crappy" I said resting my head on his shoulder.

"I feel really crappy. I'm so used to the clean break. I've never cared so much for a girl, I'm hurting too"

"Well can you show it please?"

"I don't work like that, I'm a suffer in silence kind of guy" he said. I nodded and then shifted myself out of his lap and sat in front of him.

"I'm sorry for the way everyone's been treating you"

"No you're not" he said with a smile

"Well it was kind of out of the blue so I guess you deserve a little of it" I muttered he grinned.

"I just broke the nicest girl in schools frail little heart… I think I deserve more then a little bad treatment" he said "it's been two days Lily, trust me by the end of the week we'll be old news"

I frowned in thought at his words, couples broke up and hooked up on nearly a daily basis and oh holy crap I was one of those new couples. I'd publically made an idiot of myself, branded poor Sean as an inappropriate womaniser who had no tact and asked James Potter to go to Hogsmeade with me. No I'd demanded it.

"Holy crap did I just ask James Potter to go to Hogsmeade with me?" I asked Sirius, hoping he'd tell me I had not done that and had accepted Sean's offer quite gracefully.

"Yeah, I thought he was going to piss his pants, you were terrifying in there. I think that's why McGonagall let you go, she's never ever done that" Sirius said and laughed.

"You have to get me out of it" I said he snorted

"No I don't" he said and stood up. "See you round Lily"

"I hate you" I called after him

"No you don't" he said. Damn him!

I glanced at James in Potions he was busy writing. I looked at Sirius sitting next to him, he blew me a kiss arrogantly and that seemed to set all the other women in the room off. They all seethed, glaring darkly at him. Even some of the Slytherins managed to throw him a dirty look but then again Slytherins hated anyone who wasn't Slytherin.

When James looked up I blushed and quickly looked away which made Sirius laugh and get a detention from a very unhappy Slughorn. I was back in his good graces at last and after class he actually hugged me. A little weirded out by _that _encounter I headed off to the Great Hall for dinner and sat in between Veronica and Judy. Opposite me was Alice and to my displeasure the Marauders.

"Lily and me are all good now" Sirius said when the girls all glared. They looked at me for confirmation. Truth was I still needed more time but he shouldn't have to be suffering through it.

"Sure" I said he smiled and then stuck his tongue out at a very pissed off Veronica.

"Hi baby" Kristy Dawson said everyone froze and watched as she bent to kiss Sirius' cheek. The hall had gone surprisingly quiet. I spared a glance at the staff table and saw most of them had disapproving looks on their faces. Everyone was waiting for a bitch fight to start. Surprisingly it was not I that jumped up but Monica Barca. She dived at Kristy Dawson screaming obscenities. Sirius began to laugh as they both began to pull on each others hair and scratch at each others faces. Monica bit Kristy on the arm and the tiny brunette screamed in rage. Grabbing a plate from the near by table she whacked Monica on the head with it. They rolled along the floor covered in lasagne still attacking each other. James grabbed Monica up off Kristy pulling the girl up with her as she still had her hand clamped tightly on her hair. I grabbed Kristy so she couldn't get in any free swings.

"Let go of her hair!" I ordered Monica.

"My watch is stuck in this rats nest the calls hair!" Monica snapped. I quickly undid the watch letting it hang in Kristy's curly brown hair. Professor McGonagall stalked over to us, she looked mad as hell.

"Thank you for stepping in" McGonagall said

"It's my duty" James said with a bow making the people around us snigger.

"You two, my office" McGonagall said. Once James and I were sure it was safe to let the girls go we did and they both walked off, poor Kristy limping slightly.

"Well that was exciting" Sirius said I shot him a dark look and he had the decency to look ashamed. For a second.

Claire and Tash ran over, the only excitement we ever had at dinner was seeing that the house elves in the kitchen had made their super delicious chocolate cake for dessert. That was about as interesting as it got; now the hall was buzzing with the cat fight so clearly for Sirius Blacks affection. He was not impressed, the next day Kristy was dumped and Monica got pushed even further back on his list of girls to conquer.

I felt comfortable enough to sit with the Gryffindor's in Charms the next day, though I didn't sit anywhere near the Marauders. Sirius and the school seemed to have moved on from me and were now chirping about how the two girls had nearly killed each other over a guy. I couldn't understand it, though a couple girls had said they'd thought of hurting their ex's new squeeze. I was a little shocked, I didn't want to hurt Kristy, and she was ok… a little ditsy but still a nice girl.

I stared at Professor Flitwick, while the rest of my class mates gossiped I was left to my thoughts (never a good thing).

I'd been dumped, depressing. I had a date this weekend, end of the fucking universe.

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Yay date time or whatever. The Marauders are so much more fun at school I'm loving this. What I'd love even more is some reviews, thanks, Penny

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	9. I Would Marry You

Wow… I'm not doing well with updating am I? I'm so sorry, I won't be surprised if you've all totally abandoned hope for this one but life has just been crazy busy. How dare life be so time consuming, it angers me. Anyway thanks to my reviewer RAWR IM A DORKASOR – love the name, here you go Penny.

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Chapter Nine: I Would Marry You

I stood in the dormitory. My five dorm mates all just stared at me as I ranted and raved.

"Why won't any one help me out?" I asked "Potter knew that I was kidding right. It was a unique situation; he doesn't think I meant it right?"

"Lily, will you please, just go into the common room and see if he's waiting" Veronica said.

"I can't! What if he thinks I meant it? He doesn't actually expect me to go on a date with him right?" I asked. It was finally the weekend and instead of being able to enjoy it I couldn't because I'm an idiot. I was getting a little better now over my break up, I still couldn't imagine trusting any one like that again or even thinking about dating some one else. I don't know… I had stopped crying for no reason now and no more outbursts in class which was good. I guess all I had needed was an actual talk with Sirius and a few days to calm down. Of course not seeing his face helped to so I had ignored him in most of my classes this past week. And I supposed it wasn't so much him I was avoiding as his best friend. I hadn't even looked at James since Monday. When he'd tried to talk to me some things had exploded and Dumbledore had to pull me away to talk to me about controlling my magic better.

"I feel sick I'm going to Hospital wing" I said. I wasn't kidding about that, my stomach was turning and I felt all hot and icky. It was ridiculous I know, I shouldn't care about a date with Potter, I wasn't being serious or anything… he knows that… I hope……

"Lily!" Judy said and spun me around giving me a push toward the stairs, "you might have fun"

"How?" I asked they glared at me so I sighed and headed downstairs into the common room. I was safe, the only Marauder present was Remus for my first four years here he was the only one of them I'd talk to.

"Lily you look very pretty, do you have a date?" he asked I rolled my eyes and he laughed, I headed for the portrait whole but he called me back "oh come on it was funny. Lily! Don't be like that sit down" I turned around and headed back over to him sitting down beside him on the couch.

"I can understand you backing out of this. You were a little crazy on Monday, but don't forget you asked him and you wouldn't have if there wasn't something there" he said.

"But I was mad"

"Irrelevant. You still asked. Would it have made a difference if you'd asked him while you were sad?"

"No because I'd still have asked" I sighed he nodded

"When did you get so wise Remus?" I asked

"Oh I always have been, I just hide it away from you because my knowledge could hurt you" he said I laughed.

"Has James been down yet?" I asked he shook his head. "Should I really do this?"

"He knows you're on the rebound Lily. I don't think he'll do anything"

"No I know, though I loath to admit it James is a gentleman. But should I really do this?"

"Up to you" was all he said.

"So helpful" I said.

"I wasted all my helpfulness in the first part of the program sorry" he said I sighed and stood up. Just as I did I spotted James walking down the stairs.

"Ready to go?" I asked he stared at me then looked behind him checking if I was addressing any one else. I almost burst out laughing

"You were being serious on Monday?" he asked in shock.

"Yeah" I said he just stared at me waiting for me to tell him other wise. "If you don't want to go that's fine I understand it's probably awkward for you"

"No, no… just, give me a sec" he said and turned around heading back up the stairs. I sat back down on the couch next to Remus.

"May I ask why?" Remus said quietly.

"Because he won't ask about Sirius, we won't talk about him at all. Everyone else I could go with would"

"Even Tash and Claire?" Remus asked I nodded,

"They'd ask in some way, or Claire would rave about him. She wasn't a big fan. And Tash would try and hook me up with everyone and any one"

"Incidentally is Tash her real name because Tash Tucker… it's just…"

"Something from a comic book? No I know, she calls herself the Elixir sometimes" I said Remus laughed. "Her real name is Natasha, when I told her the comic book thing she had to have a hero name"

"Your friends are quite funny" he said

"So are yours" I replied standing up as James tripped down the stairs.

"Nerves, he gets clumsy I'd watch for tipping drinks" Remus said I smiled and kissed his cheek before standing up.

"Potter" I said James had stood up and was inspecting his wrist; I waved my hand and led him out of the common room.

"So…" he said awkwardly.

"You don't have to try anything. If you want to talk then talk, if you don't then don't whatever" I said.

"Did you want to talk?" he asked.

"I will… you know… whenever" I said. He nodded and we headed off to Hogsmeade. We mostly walked in silence

"Sorry I don't want to ask but I have to know" he said

"I brought you because you don't tiptoe around subjects, you crash right into them"

"Uh that's not what I was going to ask. I was going to ask that… don't you care? What people are going to say… you know moving from Sirius to me?" I stopped and stared at the ground.

"I haven't moved anywhere" I said biting my lip to stop it quivering. "I still hate all boys; I still get nervous when I have to speak in large crowds and I still care that everyone talks about me behind my back. I'm still the same pathetic girl I was a year ago, I haven't changed at all. I'm probably not going to… only difference now is…" I stopped and lowered my head a little more. I shook my hair from my face with a sigh.

"Did you want to get some food?" James asked I looked up and smiled.

"Sure" I said and we walked into the pub the Three Broomsticks. I was glad for the change of subject and also glad he didn't make this awkward for me.

We didn't talk much. I didn't mind that. It was actually surprisingly nice to just sit and be with someone. We both just ate then did a bit of shopping. I was more then a little surprised when I found myself thinking I should do this again, with him some time soon. I probably should have given him a chance all those years ago.

The whole day was going pretty well until we got back to the castle and I kissed him. He stared at me his eyes wide and I could only stare back. My brain sort of froze. Then I vomited on him. I stared at him apologetically and he just stared back at me.

"I'm so sorry" I said and he held up a hand so I fell silent.

"Let's just get you to hospital wing ok" he said and led the way through the castle.

We walked into the hospital wing, there were a dozen or so beds lining the walls and eight of them contained people looking a little worse for wear. One girl was vomiting into a bucket.

"Maybe there's something in the food…" I muttered

"I knew those elves hated us" James said. Madame Pomfrey walked over to us and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Lily's sick" James said

"Seems to be going round, just lie here" Madame Pomfrey said pointing to a bed. I lay down and she stuck a thermometer in my mouth before walking off.

"I'm so sorry James" I said

"Its fine, lots of girls vomit after they kiss me" he said and I groaned. He certainly knows how to make a girl feel awful.

"Ah if it isn't the happy couple" Sirius said. James and I looked at him and he stopped when he noticed we were splattered in vomit.

"Please say that is just really bad smelling paint" Sirius said.

"Lily's sick, what are you doing here?" James asked indicating to the thermometer in my mouth.

"Lily's sick?" Sirius repeated looking at me. I smiled at him and he nodded slowly. "For how long?"

"Since she threw up on me. Are you ok mate? You're looking a bit pale" James said.

"Me? I'm fine, Moony fainted why don't you go check on him?" Sirius suggested.

"Yeah I'll go see him when I get cleaned up"

"Why not go now? I'm sure Moony doesn't care your covered in vomit" Sirius said.

"I can take a hint" James said and walked off while Sirius shook his head and then quickly climbed onto the bed to sit close to me. He took the thermometer out and frowned at the temperature.

"Your fine" he said

"It might just be a bug going around" I said indicating to the other sick people.

"Yeah for them. Um… look don't slap me" he said

"I'll try and resist the urge" I said and he smile.

"No, I mean I'm going to ask you a bit of a personal question" he said. I raised my eyebrows at him but let him continue, "When was the last time you got your monthly?"

"What?" I asked, "Get out"

"Seriously think about"

"Go!" I snapped he held his hands up in surrender before walking off. I rolled my eyes and settled back onto the bed. I felt like crap. It wasn't just whatever I'd eaten that was making me feel like that. My feelings for James were changing I could feel it and I didn't like it. I was really unsure how to act on it or even if I should though after vomiting on him I don't think I'd have to worry about it… not for a while any way.

* * *

A weekend in hospital wing and I was returned to classes on Monday. I sat in Transfiguration with Tash while Claire sat behind us.

Madame Pomfrey had wanted to keep me as I'd still been vomiting this morning but I'd managed to convince her to let me leave. I was in my seventh year I had to go to my classes.

"How'd your date go?" Tash asked quietly as McGonagall wrote up notes on the board.

"Awful I vomited on him" I said

"Ew. Is he that bad a kisser?" Claire asked

"You heard didn't you?" I asked the girls nodded.

"There's a lot you missed while you were 'sick'" Claire said with a smile. I just groaned and glanced at James who was sitting beside a tired looking Remus. He'd been all I could think about all weekend, James not Remus. I knew it was probably just a crush but still… I wasn't looking forward to Quidditch practise tonight. I hadn't spoken to James at all since Saturday and I had no idea how to approach him. I was kind of hoping that he'd come to me and ask me out again though I doubted it a lot. I kind of knew how he felt before he came to ask me out… that fear of rejection.

"Can I borrow Lily for a moment?"

I looked up at the sound of Madame Pomfrey's voice as did the rest of the class. They all looked at me as I glanced at McGonagall who nodded. I headed out of the classroom with Madame Pomfrey and shut the door behind me. I was hoping she hadn't changed her mind about letting me go.

"I don't really know how to tell you this…" she said. I stared at her blankly. Was she coming to tell me someone had died? Oh no Nana Rose! I knew I shouldn't have ditched her eightieth birthday… now I'll never see her again. I'm an awful grandchild I won't be surprised if she doesn't leave me anything.

"I can see you've immediately assumed its bad news but really it depends on your point of view" Madame Pomfrey said.

"Your right… she's in a better place now" I said

"What was that?"

"Wait. Your not here to tell me my grandma died are you?"

"No, no dear, Lily your pregnant" she said I snorted.

"That's impossible I'm a virg-" I stopped and frowned. Whoa…

A thousand things ran through my mind, to many things I couldn't focus, I sank to the ground. Too many thoughts were making the rest of my body stop working I actually forgot to breathe.

I tuned back into what Madame Pomfrey was saying, she'd been talking this whole time?

"… about seven weeks right now" she said I stared at her with my mouth slightly open.

"Are you all right?" she asked. I shook my head and leant against the wall hugging my knees to my chest.

"How is this possible? I don't…" I stopped trying to work out my sentences before I spoke.

"This is so stupid! I can't believe this happened! I shouldn't be surprised mum got pregnant the first time she had sex! I'm so stupid! Why should I get to enjoy a fundamental experience in life without having any consequences? God just hates me! What the hell am I going to do? I can't get rid of the stupid thing it's only a baby… oh God it's a baby!"

I was just spewing my thoughts randomly… I couldn't let them just sit inside my head I'd implode on myself.

"Lily Hogwarts will stand behind you a hundred percent, if you want I'll even tell your parents for you"

"Oh God my parents!" I said now struggling to breathe. This was way too much for my tiny seventeen year old mind.

"Oh I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to bring them up" Madame Pomfrey said sounding rather flustered as she tried to calm me down.

"They're going to send me to an abbey! I won't be allowed back here they didn't want me to come in the first place!"

"Uh you said you were a virgin"

"Well apparently I'm not!" I snapped. I was now hyperventilating though I hadn't burst into tears so I was proud of myself.

"No, I mean then you'd obviously know the father, it makes it a lot easier if there's someone going through it with you" she said.

My head snapped up and I stared at her. That was a new whole set of problems…

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I squeaked.

"I'll do it" she instantly volunteered obviously feeling guilty for upsetting me so much.

"No, no… I should" I said nodding. I slowly stood up, I didn't feel like myself. Like this was happening to someone else and I was just standing on the sidelines.

"Come and see me after classes. Oh and no more flying I'll speak to Minerva for you" Madame Pomfrey said holding open the door for me. I walked back into the classroom. It was strange how it looked the same but it was completely different, that five minutes ago I was worrying about a boy and how not to fail my NEWTs. Now I was worrying about how I'd tell my ex-boyfriend I was carrying his child and whether or not I'd be able to even take my NEWTs. By my calculations I'd have the baby in April or May and the exams were in June so… maybe… if my parents didn't send me off to the nunnery.

I spotted Sirius who had looked up when I'd walked back in. he was eating the end of his quill unaware that while he wasn't looking Peter had stolen his notes. As I stared at him it was almost like he could tell, just by my face. He stood up walked and walked over to me. He took my hand and pulled me out of the classroom ignoring Professor McGonagall's furious glare and everyone else's curious glances.

We stepped out into the hallway and Sirius pulled me into a tight hug. I clung to him desperately.

"You're pregnant aren't you?" he asked I nodded into his shoulder and he hugged me a little tighter.

"You knew on Saturday" I said pulling away from him slightly, "how could you know? I didn't even think of it"

"How far along are you?"

"Seven weeks" I said he frowned and then began to count on his fingers.

"So it was the first time?" he asked I nodded.

"I guess…" I said quietly. He stared down at my stomach his face impassive so I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, "I'm only seventeen I'm still a kid myself… Moony would be much better at this. Can I swap with him?"

I smiled and put my hand on his cheek, "we don't have to keep it" he looked at me and frowned.

"You want to get rid of it?" he asked hopefully, "I mean I just thought because of that angry and vengeful God of yours that option got scrapped"

"I meant we could adopt it out" I clarified his face fell slightly but he nodded.

"I'm really proud of what you're doing" he said and pulled me into another hug. I sniffed back my tears and clutched him tightly. I'm glad Madame Pomfrey was right about something; it did seem a lot easier if there was someone going through it with me.

"I don't really want to make anything more awkward or anything but where does this leave us?" he asked.

"Oh you don't have to stay with me. In fact please don't… that's how my aunt tricked her seven husbands into marrying her. I don't like people like that so if you want to date someone else you go right ahead"

"I'm not so sure about that one Lils. I know this is the seventies and all but you're still going to get looks"

"If we were keeping the baby I'd ask you to marry me tomorrow but that's not necessary" I said, "I kind of like James anyway" I added in a mutter making Sirius chuckle softly.

The bell rang and neither of us moved from our embrace, I liked having someone to hold on to. It just made me feel a little more secure.

"Do you have a free next?" he asked

"Yeah" I muttered

"Ok I'll skip Runes" he muttered pulling me a little closer.

"No, it's ok…" I said

"Padfoot!" Remus snapped Sirius pulled away from me and looked at him.

"What the hell are you doing? I mean! Why aren't you going to runes?"

"I'll come talk to you later" Sirius said I nodded and watched him walk off with Remus who seemed angry about something. I turned around and jumped when I realised James was standing right behind me.

"Hey gorgeous" he said I frowned at him.

"Hi" I said slowly.

"Your not… uh getting back together with him are you?" James asked casually.

"No" I said shaking my head, "I mean I don't think so"

"Oh… so what was that all about you both looked kind of upset"

"Uh… my grandma died and well Sirius knew how much she meant to me and all that so he was just being nice. Even offered to come to the funeral with me which was sweet of him"

"Very sweet considering he hates funerals"

"Yeah well he's just that kind of guy"

"No he's not"

"I have to go"

"Don't forget Quidditch practice tonight" he said

"Uh… I can't"

"What? No Lily it doesn't work like that"

"I'm sick"

"What?! Vomiting? Just lean over to the side and puke on the grass"

"Well if you're really insistent about it we can go ask Madame Pomfrey if she thinks I should fly in my condition"

"Oh what condition?" James asked. Hmm what makes men stop asking questions?

"Uh… I'm having some womanly problems 'down there'" I said he groaned in disgust.

"Will you be fine by Saturday?" he asked

"We don't have a match on Friday, it's Ravenclaw and Slytherin"

"Still want the team there to be supportive"

"Of Ravenclaw? Fine I'm sure I can pull off standing in the side lines" I said. He smiled and walked off leaving me alone with my thoughts. I couldn't understand how he could be so normal, and then I remembered he wasn't the one that was pregnant.

I didn't want to have time to think about anything so for the rest of the day I was in mad study mode. I finished all my work and when I'd done that I sat in the library study for any upcoming tests I had and revision of my previous six years of magic.

"Evans!"

I jumped and spilt my inkwell all over my notes. I didn't mind, it meant I could write them again and I would be distracted longer.

I looked over and saw James sitting opposite me with a rather annoyed look on his face.

"Hey Potter what can I do for you?" I asked pulling out some new parchment to start writing again.

"Why did McGonagall just tell me she accepted your letter of resignation from the Quidditch team?" James asked. I didn't remember handing in a letter but obviously Madame Pomfrey had spoken to McGonagall. I actually doubted any member of staff didn't know. I would be the example for years to come when randy students became out of control.

"Because that's what happened" I said

"You didn't resign because of what happened on Saturday right? Because honestly I don't care. I've seen people vomit a lot, Moony does it constantly" he said I sighed and put down my quill so I was giving him my undivided attention.

"I knew that was why he was so damn thin. It's not about Saturday" I said

"Then why? You're the best Seeker we've had for years…"

"Look being on the team was supposed to be punishment right? Maybe McGonagall thinks I've been punished enough, I certainly agree" I muttered.

"You played one match!" James said, I shook my head and began to pack up my books. At least he couldn't annoy me in the dorm. "Is it why you missed practise today? Are you terminally ill?"

"I'm pregnant ok! And that kind of interferes with flying all right so just fuck off all right?" I hissed and grabbed my books storming out of the library. If I stayed at school everyone would know eventually. Plus I had no doubt Sirius would ask his friends for advice pretty soon, James might already know…

"Lily" James said catching up to me easily. I ignored him and continued to quickly walk down the corridor.

"Lily" he said stepping in front of me and taking my books from me. I glared at his chest but refused to speak to him. I just wanted to wake up… it was all a dream – crap I'm at that stage. Can't I just skip to acceptance and think logically like I'm supposed to?

"What?" he asked. I looked up at his face and frowned, "I'm sorry I meant that, how is that possible? You're a virgin"

"Clearly not!" I said

"Oh I'm going to kill Sirius" James muttered. I scoffed in disgust

"Oh my God! You're unbelievable! Your stupid friend knocks me up and all you can think about is how you didn't get in first! Just go drop dead"

"No, no, no, no Lily I didn't mean it like that at all. I just… I can't believe he did this to you"

"It's fine… I wasn't exactly saying no. Can I have my stuff please?" I asked

"I'm not done" he said

"What do you want?"

"Do you need anything? Um… m-money?"

"I'm keeping it"

"Why?"

"Because it's a human life"

"No… I mean… well yeah but it's… Sirius" he said I snorted and shook my head.

"I'm not going to raise it, but I'm going to have it, can I have my stuff back?" I asked

"Still not done. You're giving it away?"

"Yes"

"Did you want to keep it?"

"What? I don't know… no… I mean… my parents would send me to a nunnery. What I mean is… with Sirius and me just… we'd have to get married or something it just wouldn't work. So no… I couldn't – not on my own" I said with a shrug. He nodded and stared at his feet.

"Uh… if…" he stopped and cleared his throat looking at me before changing his mind and looking back at his feet. "I meant… if you… wanted… if you wanted to keep it I would marry you"

I stared at him. He was still looking down obviously not wanting to see my reaction. I couldn't blame him; previously I'd have hexed him into next week. Now however, all I could do was stare while my heart did funny things and my stomach turned.

I didn't have enough time to run anywhere so I threw up in front of him again, at least this time I could turn around so I wasn't vomiting on him.

"Oh, oh I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to say it, it just came out" James said as I continued to vomit. "I just care about you and I wanted you to know that even though I showed you in the stupidest way"

"Stop talking!" I said wiping my mouth before straightening up. I turned back to him, "don't know why it's called morning sickness when its there all the time. I also don't know why I felt completely fine till this week"

"I'll walk you back to the common room" he said cleaning up the vomit with a flick of his wand.

"Thanks, I can carry my own books" I said as we started to walk.

"But you shouldn't" he said. I nodded.

It was now very awkward. We kept up idle chitchat and even spoke of the weather for the coming week. I knew it would be my turn to sludge up the proposal if we spoke of it again. I couldn't even tell you how I felt it was so overwhelming. I mean how many seventeen year old boys would willingly marry you when you were pregnant with his best friend's baby? I don't know any so I was really unsure how to react. I'd only just started to like the guy in a more then just a friend's way… what the hell am I supposed to do with a proposal?

We got to the common room and I glanced at Sirius sitting on the couch with Remus and Peter. I glanced at James who had followed my line of sight and looked mildly uncomfortable.

"Thank you" I said as he handed my books back to me.

"Its fine they weren't that heavy"

"Not for that" I said staring him straight in the eye, "you have no idea how much that means to me. Just… thank you so much"

"That's fine" he said quietly. I stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek before heading off upstairs.

I stayed up writing notes until I couldn't function properly thus allowing an easy sleep and no distracting thoughts. I only had the one.

I'm so screwed.

* * *

Yeah it sucked but its there. I couldn't figure out what to do with it and then I thought to all the daytime soapies I'd been watching, it was either pregnancy, long lost twin or someone dying. Ah well whatever, review please even if its to tell me I suck, Penny


	10. Love You

Hey, I'm getting better at updating… _this_ story, sorry for the other ones but I'm kind of on hiatus while I organise my life a bit. How hard is it to organise life for a 17 year old? Surprisingly hard. Plus I'm working on some original stuff and that's taking a while too… I'm trying though.

Thanks to Cheynee for the review, Penny

* * *

Chapter Ten: Love You

I sat awkwardly next to Claire. She knew something was up but was not asking about it and I was endlessly grateful. Tash was a different story.

"You look awful I'm just worried" she said

"It's nothing" I said to her.

We sat under a nice tree in the grounds enjoying the sunny afternoon. As the weather was getting colder these afternoons were becoming scarce so we were going to enjoy them when they came along.

"Why was McGonagall being so weird?" Claire asked and I hugged her. Bless her and her topic changes.

She was right, McGonagall had been weird. She'd kept shooting me glances and sympathetic looks. She was being incredibly nice to Sirius and he was frowning at her suspiciously. She even went so far as to award him house points and that seemed to freak everyone out because she'd never done it before. She even let us go a half hour early.

"Maybe it's her time of the year?" Tash said and I snorted.

"Tash when you get old your monthlies stop they don't just come once a year" Claire said, "sometimes you say the stupidest things…"

"Fine, more logically it probably has something to do with Lily's parents" Tash said. I looked at her and frowned. She wasn't looking at me she was staring behind me so I turned and saw my parents walking up the drive with Professor Dumbledore.

I screamed and bolted over to them.

"Lily!"

I stopped and turned just as James dived on top of me. We rolled along on the grass before coming to a stop.

"Your parents are here!" he said

"I can see that!" I snapped.

"Oh… of course"

"Get off me!" I ordered. He stood up and helped pulled me up. There was a bark and a shaggy black dog bolted past.

"No! Bad Padfoot!" Remus screamed running past us.

"Gimme back my beans!" Peter cried running after them.

"Mr Pettigrew stop chasing that dog immediately!" Professor McGonagall called hurrying after him.

"Huh" I said and James gave me a smile, "I'm not going to ask"

"That's best" he said

"Lily!" mum cried cheerfully. I plastered a bright smile on my face and turned to face her.

"Mum! Hi!" I said hurrying over to my parents. Dad had come from work obviously still in his police uniform, gun on his belt. I hesitantly hugged my parents looking at Professor Dumbledore over their shoulders. He merely smiled and I pulled away from my parents smiling brightly at them.

"Aw… look at your uniform, it's so cute… much better then St Patrick's" mum said putting her hands on my shoulders and looking me up and down.

"Ah yes we've had these uniforms for quite some time… since I was a student here I believe" Dumbledore said and I laughed nervously still watching my parents who smiled.

"So… what brings you_ all_ the way up here?" I asked them, my voice a little more high pitched then what's normal. James poked me and I coughed trying to sound normal.

"Well Professor Dumbledore said that your grades had been slipping drastically these past few weeks" mum said.

"My grades? You're here about my grades" I said and relief flooded through me. I was so paranoid about the other thing.

"Yeah" mum said frowning at me suspiciously.

"James they're here about my grades" I said cheerfully

"I heard" he said with a smile.

"Lily this is serious" dad said

"Oh of course" I said immediately wiping the smile off my face. I tried to be the epitome of serious but got a little distracted when a hissing cat ran past immediately followed by the black dog and Remus and Peter.

"Padfoot! Leave Professor McGonagall alone!" Remus cried

"Give me back my damn beans!" Peter snapped.

My parents stared at me with their mouths open and I laughed

"That happens all the time" I said

"All the time" James said and we both nodded together.

"Well it seems Lily's head of house is a bit distracted at the moment so in the meantime Lily why not have a quick catch up with your parents and meet me in my office in fifteen minutes" Dumbledore said and then walked off. James left a few moments later and I walked with my parents down to the lake and sat on the edge with them.

"So your grades" mum started carefully.

"I'm sorry… but I can't always have perfect grades"

"No we know that darling but it's been such a rapid change. A fortnight ago your marks were perfect and now your getting fails… did something happen? Do you not like it here anymore? Because you can come home any time" mum said.

"No… nothing happened… I just… slipped my focus a little. I'll get better I promise. Oh and sorry I worried you"

"You didn't" mum said.

"You drove all the way up here in the patrol car and dads still wearing his uniform, I guessing you left as soon as you got the letter" I said.

"Well boarding school is hard especially in such a different world" mum said and hugged me.

"Padfoot" Remus cried. The dog was back and leapt over me and mum. We pulled apart instantly and Remus through the gap. The dog dived into the water and Remus sighed pulling off his cloak and his shoes and socks.

"Remus!" I said as he was taking off his tie.

"Oh hi Lily" he said pulling off his jumper.

"What are you doing?"

"The dog ate my homework" he said. I began to laugh and he just nodded.

"Really?" I asked

"Yes, he also is being a very bad dog! He's just running from his problems like he always does!" Remus called after the dog glaring at it making its way across the lake barking merrily.

"Your going to go in there?" I asked he nodded

"I have to… it's nearly sunset and with Peter now in detention and James off doing whatever…"

"What's sunset got to do with anything?" I asked

"Uh… nothing… just it'll get cold and the dog might die and it's not mine so…" Remus trailed off then dived into the water.

"Remus you can't swim!" I called after him. He resurfaced and gave me a look

"It's not rocket science Lily" he said and I sighed and then turned around and found my parents staring at me.

"That happens a lot too" I assured them.

I watched Remus tensely for a few moments but the dog realised he was being followed and turned swimming back over to Remus.

"Uh… should we…?" dad asked

"We're fine! Go see Dumbledore" Remus said, "REALLY!"

I shrugged and took my mums hand helping her stand up and led her up to the castle. Madame Pomfrey bolted past us at a rather amazing speed toward the lake.

"Miss Evans I do need a word with you later" she cried

"I'll be with the Headmaster" I called after and she waved a hand to say she'd heard.

I led my parents up to the castle making no comment on the running nurse so my parents naturally assumed that wasn't uncommon either.

It was dinner time as we walked past the opened doors of the Great Hall. My parents both gasped simultaneously and I pushed them over to the stairs.

"What an amazing cafeteria" mum said making me smile. I led the way up the grand staircase warning them both of trick steps and moving staircases.

We walked along the corridor where Dumbledore's office was and over to the stone gargoyles.

I gave the password and they sprang to life startling my parents slightly. We climbed up the spiral staircase to the wooden door and I knocked waiting patiently.

"Enter" Dumbledore said and we all went inside. I took the classic seat in the centre with my parents on either side of me.

Professor McGonagall stood beside Dumbledore who sat opposite us a warm smile on his face.

"Sorry we're late. Remus was still chasing that dog and dived into the lake" I said. Dumbledore and McGonagall stared at me wide eyed for a moment before resuming their usual faces of indifference. Dumbledore the smiled

"No matter," he said cheerfully, "Now usually failing grades are not such a serious issue but as your grades have fallen in all your subjects so rapidly we're just concerned"

"I just lost sight of my priorities; I'm ready to start doing anything for extra credit. I worked so hard for six years; don't want to stuff it up now"

"Get back here bitch!"

I frowned, unfortunately recognising that bellowing tone. The office door burst in and Madame Pomfrey walked in the bottom half of her soaked, it seemed she'd had a trip into the lake as well.

Sirius burst in behind her dripping with not just water, but pure molten rage and it was dangerous to piss off a Black. We _all _knew that.

"Poppy… all went well this evening?" Dumbledore asked pleasantly.

"Yes… it's all fine. We barely made it thanks to this one" Madame Pomfrey said shooting Sirius a look.

"I'm not the woman who fucked up the samples!" Sirius snapped.

"Mr Black-" Professor McGonagall began but Sirius cut her off.

"Shush… tell her what you did" Sirius said turning the nurse to me.

"You're not pregnant, I accidentally switched the samples" she said.

"Wait… not pregnant?" mum asked then looked at me, "you thought you were pregnant?"

"Uh… well… you know it was like a miracle because I've never had sex" I said and she frowned.

"What? It could happen" I said defensively.

"God doesn't let whores into heaven Lily" mum said

"He doesn't let witches in either so I'm already screwed!" I snapped mum just shook her head. Dad was glaring murderously at Sirius.

"It was you wasn't it?" he asked

"Ah… see that's kind of a trick question. Because if I say 'no' it's like I'm saying 'you're daughters a whore who sleeps with everyone' and if I say 'yes' it's like 'I enjoyed that loads and will do it repeatedly and you can't stop me'" Sirius replied.

"I thought this school would help you find yourself, but all it's done is turn you into a delinquent" dad said glaring at me.

"What?! Six years of flawless behaviour and I'm a delinquent because of one mistake?" I asked

"Outside of marriage…" mum was muttering "just sin…"

I rolled my eyes

"Were you going to tell us? Huh? What were you going to do? Just think we'd accept this?" mum asked shakily.

"Actually I was going to get married and come home in the summer with a husband and a baby and you wouldn't be able to prove which happened first" I said narrowing my eyes at her.

"Marry him?" dad asked raising a hand to Sirius.

"Good Lord no!" I said and Sirius laughed

"I'm not really the 'marrying type'" Sirius said.

"You were the one who wanted to send her here in the first place" mum said glaring at dad.

"This is my fault? Maybe if you stopped worrying about Petunia so much-"

"Well maybe if you were home more!" mum screamed.

"Shut up!" I shouted over the top of them, "I am not pregnant. Sirius and I are not dating any more. I am not getting married. I will improve my grades. I will be finishing the year at Hogwarts. Do not interrupt me, you are not taking me home mum. I know you want to but I am not going with you. So just everyone calm down ok?" I said glancing between both my parents. While I was looking at mum giving her my best I-promise-I'll-be-good looks dad picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. I squealed in surprise and he carried me out the door.

"Professor!" Sirius cried, "You aren't seriously letting go of one of your best students like that"

"She's still sixteen. She is under her parent's law for now" Dumbledore said. Dad laughed and mum sighed in relief.

"My birthday is in January and I am coming back here, I'll continue by correspondence or something" I said to Dumbledore.

"Hogwarts will be glad to welcome you back" Dumbledore said.

"Albus do you really think this is wise?" McGonagall asked. Dumbledore ignored her and looked straight at me.

"We will mail your things Lily" Dumbledore said and waved goodbye. I sighed and let dad carry me down the stairs with only Sirius following us apologising a hundred times.

We walked through the castle, me reluctantly directing my father who thought one trip through was enough to memorise Hogwarts castle. I'd been here over six years and still got lost.

"Lils… what am I going to tell James… the guy loves you" Sirius said and I smiled.

"Tell him I'm sorry I ruined his sneakers" I said and Sirius offered a small smile.

"I blame your parents for this" Sirius said and they shot him sharp looks, "they made you too damn perfect. Far too perfect for me…"

"You're sweet" I said and he shrugged.

We headed out into the grounds and Sirius frowned before quickly following us.

"Sirius you don't need to follow us to the car. Just go find Tash and Claire, they're probably still at dinner and tell them I'll write to them" I said.

"I think I should Lils, it's a full moon, lots of crazies out" he said. The sun had set and it was now rather dark, I rolled my eyes

"Oh yeah right Sirius… I've patrolled the grounds before at night. You have detentions in the forest with Hagrid at night. It's fine"

"Full moon Lily" Sirius said pointing to the sky.

"What? Werewolves? Dumbledore wouldn't let werewolves into Hogwarts" I said

"Werewolves?" mum asked stopping.

"Violet we're fine Lily's right. The man may be old but he's not senile" dad said and grabbed her arm with his free one.

"Not much" Sirius muttered.

There was a howl from somewhere nearby and we stopped.

"Dad put me down" I said and he immediately did. We all stood still looking around each of us looking into the forest for a sign of… anything.

A deer leapt out and mum shrieked I slapped her shoulder and she apologised immediately.

"Prongs" Sirius called and the deer pointed its antlers,

"Ok not that way" Sirius said taking my hand and hurrying with us across the grounds opposite to the gates. It was a massive detour but obviously a necessity.

The deer ran over to us and stopped in front of Sirius nodding the same direction it had been.

"I don't speak deer!" Sirius snapped and it shook its head then turned to the direction we were heading. Sirius turned and froze. I looked and froze as well. Mum screamed and dad grabbed her arm and mine stepping forward slightly as if to shield us.

In front of us, only a mere dozen feet away was a seven foot tall werewolf teeth bared and snarling wildly at us.

"Oh, you were telling us_ to_ go that way" Sirius said to the deer and it glared at him. I wasn't really aware deer had many facial expressions but there was no mistaking that one.

"What do we do?" I asked quietly.

"Anyone got any silver?" Sirius asked glancing around at us. While me and my family were all starting to panic Sirius seemed calm and at ease.

The deer launched its self at the werewolf who easily tossed it aside. The deer came back for more and we stood watching horrified as the werewolf easily tore at it like a rag doll and once more tossed it away.

"Fuck" Sirius said finally starting to sound a little worried. That made me feel a lot worried and I took a few deep breaths to calm down.

"Know the stunning charm?" Sirius asked pulling out his wand.

"That's not going to do much" I said pulling out my wand.

"Worth a shot…" Sirius said

"Stupefy!" we cried. The werewolf merely staggered and shook the charms off effortlessly. It lunged and Sirius pulled me out of the way. Mum screamed and there was a thud as she was swatted aside.

Sirius stood up and pulled me up to and held my hand as we ran. Shooting more stunners at the wolf as we went to check on my mother who'd hit a tree and was lying in the shrubs. I couldn't see dad but although bleeding from a cut on her head mum was still breathing.

There was a yell and the wolf tried slashing at dad.

"Sirius" I said he took my face in his hands,

"Not a word" he said and kissed my forehead. With a small pop he had turned into that familiar scruffy black dog. My mouth fell open and he barked at me before leaping over the bush and charging at the wolf.

Dad was knocked to the side and I ran over to him ignoring the barking and yelping as Sirius the dog bit and scratched at the wolf and it did exactly the same to him.

Sirius was tossed near mum and the wolf turned to me. Oh of course… it's no fun if your foods not running in fear. I felt for my wand and couldn't find it, crap!

I grabbed dad's gun from his belt and ran away from my parents and Sirius so that the wolf wouldn't be tempted to turn to them. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me listening sharply to the footfalls of the wolf gaining on me.

I tripped, how could I not, it always happens at the worst time. I rolled over and aimed at the wolf gaining on me. A rat jumped on me and I screamed like a sissy little girl. Spiders I can handle but not rats.

I swatted it off me and suddenly Peter Pettigrew was beside me.

"Don't it's Remus!" he said. I looked at the wolf then back at him.

"You are kidding me!" I screamed and we both stood up running from the wolf, or poor Remus.

"So you're an Animagus?" I asked him as we ran.

"We all are…"

"Do you know how dangerous that is?" I asked

"Yes Lily Remus was actually against it the whole time"

"So you turn into animals and run wild with him every full moon?" I asked

"Yes… but look how happy he is"

"He's not going to be very happy when I put a bullet in his brain!"

"That's Remus" Peter repeated.

"Fine!" I snapped and stopped spinning easily and taking aim and firing all in one fluid motion. The gun went off like a breaking branch, a _crack_ shot through the night air hitting me like cold water.

I gasped at the deer as it jumped in the way. Its back right leg was completely shattered by the bullet which went straight through and hit Remus too. I never missed and hadn't hitting Remus in his leg where I'd aimed. Remus went down whining softly and the deer turned into James who began to scream hysterically at me throwing any and all kind of obscenities he could. He mostly called me an idiot and I ignored him

"Peter go get Madame Pomfrey" I said

"Uh… how am I supposed to explain Remus?" he asked.

"Go make it look like he escaped!" I snapped standing up and hurrying around the wolf who whined once more. He took a swipe at me as I hurried past and staggered up. I gripped the gun tightly ready to shoot and the motion did not go unnoticed. The wolf whined softly and then limped into the woods as fast as I had been running showing me that if it moved like that when injured I was lucky to be alive right now. I stared after it sadly.

That was Remus.

He was like a contradiction onto himself. The quiet, shy respectful hard working student was also a vicious man eating werewolf. It confused me greatly but I suppose that being such a sweet guy no one would really find the conclusion werewolf.

I was left with an awkward situation. Remus had enough trouble talking to people, do I tell him I know or act like I don't?

James groaned and I was snapped from my thoughts. No time to dwell on that now you just shot James Potter.

I turned and ran over to him dropping down on my knees beside him watching him anxiously. He wasn't moving and I could feel my heart beat faster and faster. I leant over him my hair spilling off my shoulder as I checked his breathing and his pulse.

He grabbed my hair and pulled me close making me squeal in pain. I stared into his eyes watching anxiously, waiting for him to say something.

"I hate you!" he cried and then kissed me; threading his fingers in my hair to hold me to him he kissed me hard and fast.

"A gun Lily? A gun!" he said

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh God your bleeding!" I cried and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"What do I do?"

"Put pressure on it" he said and I nodded and put my hand on the bloody wound and pushed. He cried out and I pulled my hands back.

"No" he said and I put them back on his leg pressing down.

"I'm sorry" I said

"Stop apologising" he said

"Sorry" I said and he smiled.

"Lils…" he said and I looked at him anxiously.

"Are you ok? Getting dizzy or something? Losing your vision?" I asked worriedly.

"No… uh… I…" he stopped and I frowned at him.

"Guys" Peter said hurrying over to us and James groaned, "I think we're covered"

"That's good" I said nodding. Peter smiled proudly then looked down at us.

"You're bleeding" he said

"So go get Madame Pomfrey!" James shouted and Peter immediately ran off.

"Make it go away" James whined. I stared down at my bloody hands horribly aware of the blood that kept oozing in between my fingers. I could feel a bit of bone poking at my palm and sighed.

"I hit thin deer leg; I've probably shattered your fibula"

"Deer don't have a fibula!" he said

"Really? Wow"

"Can you not be a nerd for two seconds?" he asked making me smile.

"But they must have a tibia" I said

"I guess… there are three joints in deer legs. I don't know what they are don't ask" he said and I grinned.

Madame Pomfrey ran over to us with Peter, Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore in tow.

"Help me" James said staring at the nurse desperately.

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked

"Lily shot me"

"Shot?" McGonagall echoed. I held up the gun and they all frowned at the odd Muggle weapon before looking at James' leg. I pulled my hands away so they could see a little better and Madame Pomfrey immediately began to bandage it up.

I leant back wiping my hands on my skirt as the nurse worked her magic.

"Don't go" James said grabbing my hand. I hadn't even thought of checking on my parents till after he grabbed my hand. I liked that he knew what I was going to do before I did it. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"My parents are over there" I said pointing, "along with Sirius"

Dumbledore headed off with McGonagall while Madame Pomfrey conjured a stretcher for James.

Peter and I followed behind James and the nurse as they headed into the castle and up to Hospital Wing. I sat on a bed with Peter while the nurse worked on James.

McGonagall and Dumbledore came in with a limping Sirius and dad carrying mum in his arms. He laid her on a bed nearby and sat in a chair beside it. I watched them for a moment wondering if I should go over and talk to them or not. I decided not and simply moved over slightly to allow Sirius to sit on the bed with Peter and me.

"So… don't think your going home Lils" Sirius said and I punched his arm.

Several hours later I still sat on that bed. Peter had been uninjured and had gone back to his dorm. Sirius had taken one of the beds next to James and I sat wide awake watching my parents. Mum hadn't woken up and dad had crawled onto the bed and slept beside her.

It was now fairly early in the morning, poor Remus was back. He too was awake but he hadn't said anything. I watched him just sitting on his bed biting his nails. He was crying I could see it but he didn't wipe them away or even show he knew they were there. I didn't know what to do, what to say. I couldn't even imagine what was whirling through that brilliant mind of his.

I slid off my bed quietly and over to him. I hadn't yet thought of what to say so I said nothing and climbed onto the bed beside him.

He didn't look over at me or anything, the only indication he knew I was there was his hand that came over and held mine. He was cold so I tried to project every bit of warmth I had through my hand into his.

Madame Pomfrey walked over and I gave her a small smile. She looked at Remus with so much pity it almost hurt before moving on to check on James' leg.

"Nice shot" Remus said quietly and I laughed. He laughed too and we continued laughing until my stomach hurt and I couldn't breathe.

I looked at him then down to his leg that was bleeding through the bandage he had wrapped round it.

"Sorry" I said he smiled and put an arm around my shoulder pulling me into a one armed hug.

This was very big for Remus so I didn't try and push it by hugging him back or anything. He let me go and went back to holding my hand.

"So… you're… a werewolf" I said and he nodded slowly, "for how long?"

"Since I can remember… three or four…" he said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked nudging him with my shoulder.

"Are you kidding?" he asked and I stared at him.

"I didn't even tell my friends. They got a bunch of books and then locked me in a closet till I admitted it. I spent four hours in there not saying a word and then they threw Sirius in with me. Twenty minutes with him and I told them everything" he said and I smiled.

"Are you ok?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I have no control over it" he said quietly and looked at our hands, "thank you"

"For what? Shattering your friends leg and putting a bullet in you?" I asked.

"No. None of my friends would have done that. I don't think they _really _understand exactly what happens to me"

"It's not you Remus" I said

"Then why didn't you shoot me in the head?" he asked. I shifted turning to face him staring him right in the eyes.

"Look your friends may not be willing to put you down but they're willing to die for you" I said and glanced at James and Sirius. Now in the morning light I could see that Sirius was covered in cuts and bruises. Remus' eyes followed mine and we stared at his two friends.

I looked at him watching as his eyes flickered from between Sirius to James. He looked utterly miserable and also extremely out of place. Like he wasn't really sure how one react to something like this. I wasn't that sure either.

"I think that is a thousand time better" I said softly and Remus looked down.

"I don't deserve them"

"Everyone deserves friends" I said.

"Not me. No one like me deserves anything"

"By that logic Remus you don't deserve to live" I said with a snort. He looked at me and I slapped him immediately knowing where his thoughts had gone. His eyes went wide and he blinked at me before putting a hand on his cheek.

"Ever think like that again Remus and I'll be right there to smack some sense into you" I said, "you may not think you deserve me but I'll be there and so will James and Sirius and Peter and I'm thinking they're going to be as angry about you lying to yourself like this as I am"

He looked away from me and I smiled sliding off the bed to go see how my parents were.

"Lily…" Remus said. I looked over at him and gave him a smile, he smiled back and I looked down at my sleeping parents. I sat in the chair beside them and stroked mum's hair softly.

She sighed and opened her eyes catching my hand softly. She smiled and stood up throwing a blanket over dad. She took my hand and pulled me away so he could sleep.

She pulled me into a hug holding me tightly and beginning to cry into my shoulder.

"I can't afford to loose you" she sobbed and I wrapped my arms around her.

"You won't…" I assured her.

"Oh God…" she said and let me go, "I wouldn't be able to live if something happened to you. You're my baby girl"

"Mum" I said. I was unaware how much my being away was hurting her but after last night I could see it now. All those years of worry were spilling out right now.

"I'll just pack my stuff" I said and mum sobbed throwing her arms around me again.

"Thank you!" she said and let me go. I smiled and kissed her cheek. I turned and saw the three Marauders all watching me. Remus looked guilty and James looked devastated. I stared at him wide eyed, a million billion things crashing through my brain my emotions all smashing together. There was chaos in me and so I stood rooted to the spot. All of it stopped and just let me feel my heart breaking. I swallowed and breathed deeply tearing my eyes away and continuing to walk.

I headed up the stairs to Gryffindor tower not letting nostalgia slow me down. I'd end up crying or doing something I regret.

I headed up to my dormitory, the other girls still sleeping enjoying their weekend. As quietly as I could I pulled my trunk out from under my bed and began to pack up my bedside dresser. Tossing my clothes in not bothering to organise any of it and just shoving it in. I headed into the bathroom to take my toiletries and caught sight of myself in the reflection. I was still wearing my uniform. The white shirt covered in blood splatter and my skirt too from where I'd tried to wipe my hands. My hands too were covered in dried blood so I slowly washed them. I was paler then usual my freckles standing out awfully in contrast and making my hair look a deeper shade of red much like the blood splattered on me.

I shook my head and dried my hands turning and jumping nearly a foot when I saw James behind me.

"How did you get in here?" I asked

"Like that matters, what are you doing?" he asked

"Washing my hands. What if I'd been having a shower?" I replied grabbing my things from the counter.

"I knocked" James said defensively. I walked past him back into the dormitory.

"What are you doing here?" I asked heading back over to my bed and tossed my toothbrush and things into the trunk.

"While I was running up here I had this speech in my head on how I was going to get you not to go"

"You ran?" I asked looking at his injured leg before looking at his face.

"Yeah but now that I'm here I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say" he said. I shook my head and emptied another draw into my trunk.

"Stop packing" James ordered. I sighed and looked at him.

"You're not going" he said.

"James, my family is falling apart by my being here. My parents are probably going to get divorced and well… I've been picking magic over my family for years. My sister barely speaks to me and I'm starting to think maybe I haven't been making the right choice"

"No… your parents are going home now. You're staying here…" James said. I raised my eyebrows.

"What? What happened?"

"I just said some things"

"What kind of things?"

"That… well… that we never really got a chance to be anything and that I couldn't let them take you without you knowing how I really feel about you" James said.

"And… how do you really feel about me?"

"I love you. I've loved you since I met you and I don't care if you vomit on my shoes or slap me or insult me it won't change anything at all" he said. I stared at him and was really unsure of what to say…

"Thanks" I said then froze. MORON!

Those million things crashing through me earlier… his eyes on me… I thought it was… and now all I could… thanks? Oh brilliant Evans you idiot!

"Not the response I was hoping for" James said. I bit my lip to keep myself silent, I'd already fucked up enough.

"I have to say goodbye to my parents" I said hurried past him. I headed down the stairs and nearly crashed into Sirius, Remus and Peter who were waiting at the bottom.

"My parents?" I asked

"Probably half way across the ground by now" Sirius said I nodded and began to run.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I was exhausted physically and emotionally but now I had to beg my parents to take me with them. How could I face James after that fuck up?

Yes I was running from my problems.

Pregnancy? Apparently I can totally handle that.

Love? Ah Lily Evans runs like a scared little kitten.

I sprinted across the grounds and found my parents near the gate with Dumbledore.

I ran over and stopped in front of them.

"Lily" mum said

"Hi" I said brightly. My parents looked at me then Dumbledore who smiled brightly at them.

"You guys going now?" I asked trying to catch my breath from all that running.

"Yeah… we were going to say goodbye but felt awkward interrupting that" dad said.

"Oh… James… right… yeah… anyway take me with you"

"What? Did James tell you what he wanted to?"

"Yeah… yeah" I said.

"And what did you say?" my parents both asked.

"Uh… thank you?" I said. They both stared at me looking so shocked I felt like I'd just told them _I_ was a werewolf.

"Lily we're trying not to interfere in your life any more. Last night told me that though it hurts to let you stay so far away if I don't I'll loose you anyway" mum said, "your place is here… with people just as wonderful as you are"

"Now your letting me live my life? This is the worst time to let me go? Does no one care that I almost got knocked up" I said hysterically.

"Yes you'll be grounded for the whole Christmas holidays, see you then sweetheart" mum said and then my parents both hugged me and then headed off through the gates.

"Love does strange things to people" Dumbledore said.

"Would it be really bad if I killed him?" I asked and he smiled, "I'm pretty sure most of the things wrong in my life are his fault. It really would solve all my problems"

"I'd hold off on the killing just for now" he said and I sighed walking back up to the castle with him.

"I'm glad we get to keep you Miss Evans"

"Yeah because I'm so great" I said waving my hands around. He smiled

"You are… Mr Potter certainly knows it"

"Is it to late for me to change houses?" I asked making him laugh.

"Gryffindor's don't run away from anything"

"Exactly why I shouldn't be a Gryffindor" I said.

"You're exactly where you should be Lily and though it may not seem like it at this moment things will work out. They usually do…"

"Thanks Professor" I said. He smiled and headed off up the stairs leaving me in the Entrance Hall. I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday so I headed into the Great Hall for some breakfast. There weren't many people up for nine o'clock on a Saturday morning but I still got a few looks from the early birds. I was still covered in blood and so that drew a few curious glances. I sat down at the Gryffindor table and picked at my food for a bit before I burst into tears and sat there sobbing for hours and hours.

* * *

I sat in hospital wing once more. I was still vomiting and seemed to have missed my period this month so I was getting checked out.

Poor Liana Eve was pregnant, it was her sample that had been mixed with mine and I was watching her tell her boyfriend who fainted after she told him.

She sniffed and shrugged beginning to eat her breakfast. I watched her sadly for a few moments before turning back to Madame Pomfrey who was examining some notes she'd made about me.

"It might just be stress… any major changes in your life?"

"Well I thought I was pregnant" I said glaring at her.

"Oh… right yes… I see how that would… be… a stressful… thing… to happen. It's probably that" she said then held up a potion, "take this once a day in the morning for the next month and you should be all right"

"That'll help with the vomiting too?" I asked

"It should" she said. I nodded and slid off the bed headed out of the hospital wing going to prepare for my next class. It was Monday once more and I had wasted my free in the hospital wing.

I headed up stairs to the dorm and stopped when I saw James on the couch.

"Lily" he cried. I screamed and bolted up the girl's dormitory steps but he was to gast. He grabbed my leg and pulled me back down.

"Jesus James trying to kill me?"

"Well I figured if I'm stuck in hell its only fair you join me" he said and grabbed my hand pulling me up and into his arms easily. He trapped me to him my back to his front holding my arms crossed across my waist.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable but your being very, very immature about this" he said.

"Oh and holding me against my will is so much better"

"I just want to have a mature conversation with you. It's perfectly fine to not return my affections. It is not fine to run away every time you see me and refuse to even talk about this. So you're going to tell me how you feel about what I told you no matter if it hurts me or not" he said and I nodded.

"Uh… I don't reciprocate your feelings. I'm sorry"

"That's all you had to say" he said

"I'm also sorry that I ran away but in my defence I've been through a lot this month" I said.

"Fair enough"

"Can you let me go?"

"No… not even if I wanted to" he said I looked over my shoulder at him in alarm, "oh you meant physically" he released me and I stepped forward out of his grasp turning to face him.

"McGonagall wants you on the team again"

"Damn…" I muttered

"Obviously you don't have to. There's no blackmail holding you in place obviously just your guilt"

"My guilt?" I repeated.

"Yeah… broke my heart Lily. I'm dying on the inside and it's your fault"

"What? That's hardly fair! You said I was allowed to express what I felt"

"Yeah but it doesn't stop the effect it has on me"

"You're a jackass!" I snapped and he smiled.

"I blame you for that too" he said with a grin. I sighed narrowing my eyes at him.

"This is why you're going to die alone. It's impossible to love someone who's this much of an arrogant little snot!" I said. He stared at me and his hazel eyes darkened looking browner. He blinked a few time and sniffed and I realised what was happening my heart stopping. I'd made James Potter cry.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry" I said immediately and he sniffed again and looked at his feet.

"I'm really sorry. I'll just see you at practise" I said miserably, he looked up at me and grinned. Oh the little twerp.

"Great. Love you" he said

"Don't do that!" I snapped and he just blew me a kiss before walking off. I screamed and kicked the wall his laughter echoed down from the stairs and I sank to the floor.

Why does he do this to me?

_Oh silly Lily, you broke the boys heart… toughen up girl. It's your fault. _

I hate it when I'm right….

* * *

Gotta find better ways to end my chapters. But guess what? I don't actually hate this one, weird right? Though James seems a bit like an ass but that's how I'd react. Leave a review, Penny


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